I Don't Live in Their House

I admit it. I'm a sinner. Therefore, I frequent the confessional. I try to get to confession at least monthly, but I'm much more peaceful if I go every other week. I'm grateful that our Lord is not a "three strikes and you're out" God, or I would have been condemned years ago.

One of my repeat offenses is "being critical of others." Mind you, I do not "judge" people, which really means that I "condemn them to hell." I know I'm not God and have no authority over another person's soul. However, I'm quick to think, and often enough speak, about what someone else should do to make his or her life better. I think things like, "Why doesn't he see that his decisions about X are the cause of his problems?" Or, "Why can't she just do things this way--then she would feel better, be happy, etc.?" My personality is such that I want to fix things, even if they aren't mine to fix. As a result, my mind races with solutions to all sorts of things that might not really be problems.

As I get older, I'm less critical than I used to be, but often enough I look at situations from my limited view and think I know better than the person in the situation. A friend of mine often says, "I don't live in her house" when someone is being criticized and gossip begins. This phrase is a good reminder to me of two things, not to gossip and not to be so quick to believe I have all the answers. I don't know the whole story of what goes on in that person's life.

How many people live in abusive relationships that are hidden? How many people battle with depression? How many people struggle with addictions? How many people are caring for sick loved one? We can be quick to anger or criticism when someone offends us or seems foolish, but the big picture would likely change our tune. The truth is, the only one who really knows the weight of the crosses we bear is the Lord. He took the weight of all those crosses up Calvary's Hill and stretched out his arms to save us all.

My first two weeks of Lent have included some little sacrifices and a little more prayer, as well as one visit to confession. My family usually makes it to Stations of the Cross most weeks, but we didn't make it the first two weeks of Lent. Honestly, without Stations, it doesn't really feel like Lent. We are planning to go this Friday, which will be a good reminder of Christ's sacrifice as we journey toward Easter.

Rather than focus on what others should do, I will strive this Lent to focus on how I can be a better Christian and witness to the Lord with my life. Instead of criticizing, I must pray for my brothers and sisters to allow God to work in their lives, in his time, not in mine.

And if you be unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods of your fathers, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15, RSV Catholic Edition 

First Friday of Lent

Today's reflection in the Magnificat is entitled "Why We Fast" by St. Thomas Aquinas. The ideas are very straightforward, but the ideas are also profound. My sleepy mind struggled this morning to comprehend what I was reading the first time, so I read the page a few times. Basically, St. Thomas describes the double nature of human beings--mental and physical.  Our prayer, then, consists of mental and physical manifestations. We internally recognize God and externally pray, fast, adore, and praise.  The external, however, essentially has little meaning without the internal. He says:

So, just as prayer has its origin as something in the mind, and is only in the second place expressed in words, adoration also consists, primarily and in its origin, in an internal reverence of God and only secondarily in certain bodily signs, for example, as genuflections to show our weakness by comparison with God, or prostrations to show that we are nothing ourselves.

What does that mean for us on a practical level?  The people in today's first reading from Isaiah 58:1-9 fulfill the external prescriptions of their fast day, but "carry out [their] own pursuits, and drive all [their] laborers. Yes, [their] fast ends in quarreling and fighting, striking with wicked claw." The reading continues with the Lord telling them this type of fasting is superficial and unfruitful and not what he wants from them. He instead desires:

releasing those bound unjustly...Sharing your bread with the hungry, sheltering the oppressed and the homeless; Clothing the naked when you see them, and not turning your back on your own.

The Lord tells us that when we fast and give alms in this way, from our internal desire for communion with Him, He "will answer" when "we cry for help, and he will say: Here I am!"

Therefore, let us consider our Lenten plans. Are we fasting from chocolate, social media, alcohol, television, or some other vice? These things are truly sacrifices! But what happens internally? Are you filling that space with prayer, spiritual reading, and growing closer to God. If so, you have begun a wonderful Lenten journey! On the other hand, as a response to the fast, are we quarreling and fighting? Do we look gloomy? If so, we must begin again internally, taking the prayer from inside and seeking God first to guide our Lenten disciplines.

On this First Friday of Lent, I encourage you to attend Mass, the Stations of the Cross, or both! Listen deeply to the scripture. Walk the road to Calvary with our Lord. Then ask his guidance for you this Lent.

Dear Heavenly Father,

What sacrifice of mine is most pleasing to you? How can I best serve others and grow closer to you this Lent? Let my sacrifice be pleasing to you. Let my joy this Lent draw me and others closer to you. 

Amen.

Plans for My Lenten Journey

Every day I think about how to make things better in my life. How can I make better use of my resources? How can I be a better homeschooling mom? How can I be a better wife and mother? How can I gain some focus and accomplish things instead of wasting time online looking at recipes and cat videos? When I re-read this paragraph, I see a lot of "I" and feel rather self-centered. I want to do better and be better, but maybe the best way to do that is to become "other-centered."

This past weekend, our parish youth group held a formation meeting where the youth and their parents listened to a talk by Matthew Kelly in which he discussed prayer and habits. He stressed the importance of listening in prayer rather than listing our desires and demands to God for Him to do our will. Kelly also brought to light the significance of our habits in shaping us. Saints and greats differ from the rest of humanity in one significant way, he explained, and the way they differ is in their habits. One example he mentioned was Michael Jordan. When Jordan didn't make the high school basketball team because he wasn't consistent from the free-throw line, he changed his habits. Until he sunk 600 free-throws for the day, he wouldn't go to bed for the night. We know the rest of the story. His habit changed who he was from the kid who got cut to the man who became a basketball legend.

For those who don't have a regular prayer life, Matthew Kelly suggests beginning with 10 minutes of prayer every day.  Follow that simple habit,  Kelly says, and "You won't recognize yourself after six weeks" because you will change for the better. 

I know he's right. A few years ago my prayer life was very sporadic, and I was not joyful. Now, I consistently pray and read the daily readings each morning before my youngest children are awake. I have changed for the better. I still have a long way to go, but that little change, 15 minutes or so each morning with scripture and reflections in the Magnificat has helped me get to know God better. My mornings are pretty good. However, the rest of the day lacks focused prayer time. I receive a few daily emails with reflections on the Catechism, the Gospels, and Danielle Bean's Momnipotent Study. These messages give me reminders of the central role God should have in my life, even when I'm at the computer.

On this Sunday before Lent, my thoughts turn to sacrifice and purification. Lent is a time to turn inwardly, not to be "all about me," but instead to consider what I must do to become a saint. Matthew Kelly stresses "becoming the best version of yourself" and Fr. Pedro at our parish often reminds us that we should all strive to become saints, which of course is the "best version" of ourselves.

How we become saints will be different for each of us. Reading the Bible and books by saints can be a great place to start. Alms giving, prayer, and fasting are the three Lenten disciplines that can be used any time during the year to bring us closer to God. Attending Stations of the Cross on Fridays is a powerful devotion that reminds us how much God loves us--enough to take the sins of the whole world to the Cross. 

As part of my Lenten journey, I am planning to read the first volume of The Mystical City of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda and to include evening prayer as part of my daily habits this Lent. I am also planning to write more reflections in this blog regarding what I read. 

My hope for you and for me is that on Ash Wednesday, March 5, 2014, we will begin a journey that prepares us to receive Jesus with full Easter Joy on April 20, 2014, knowing and loving Him more than we knew we could.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

 

Three Stations of Discipleship

Palm Sunday is this weekend, and it's hard to believe that in another week we will celebrate Easter.  The past few weeks have gone by so quickly with Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI's resignation, the conclave, and the election of Pope Francis.  Though this Lent has been prayerful, it seemed perhaps less penitential with all of the joy of the Papal election and installation over the past two weeks.

Praying the Stations of the Cross on Fridays in Lent is one of the most beautiful devotions in our Catholic tradition outside of the Mass and the Sacraments.  This particular devotion helps the faithful to deeply ponder what Christ did for us that Friday.  He submitted and opened not his mouth.  He paid the ultimate price, though he was without sin.  He gave himself as the sacrifice to cleanse us that we may share eternal life with him.

I just got home from our parish youth group's presentation of their iWitness Stations.  This beautiful presentation on our Lord's Passion includes a reflection on each of the traditional Stations of the Cross accompanied by a video and songs performed by the music ministry.  The images include various statues and paintings depicting each of the stations, as well as still shots of scenes from The Passion of the Christ.  The reflections for each station, composed by members of the youth group, help those in attendance to deeply contemplate Christ's love for us.

Three stations in particular tug at my heart along the Way of the Cross--Jesus Meets His Mother, Simon Helps Jesus Carry His Cross, and Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus.  These three come between the first and second times that Jesus falls.  Tonight in church, I sat with my youngest son near the pictures of those particular stations.  Jesus bore the weight of our sins alone, but he wasn't all alone.  Three individuals in particular are chosen to represent love and friendship to Jesus during his journey to Calvary.

First, of course, is our Blessed Mother.  She stays near to her son through his anguish.  She suffers with him--her "Yes" from the Annunciation carries her through to this moment.  She suffers, yet she trusts her Lord.  The look between mother and son in that moment would have been one of understanding, anguish, but mostly love.  Words wouldn't have been necessary, but her presence was most necessary.

Next, Simon is called upon to help Jesus carry the cross.  The soldiers no doubt feared he would die on the way to Calvary, as he'd already fallen once.  Simon didn't want to be there, but he helped Jesus when the soldiers pressed him into service.  The reflection on the station described Simon as having a change of heart and speaking to Jesus along the road.  We could envision his conversion under the weight of the wood.  Jesus bore our sins upon that cross.  When Simon helps to carry the cross, it seems to represent repentance--our willingness to own and carry our own sins, and then to repent from those sins, in order to walk with Christ.

Third, we see Veronica wipe the face of Jesus.  "None but she would flaunt the Roman."  This station has impressed me since I was a child.  Who was this woman?  Did she know Jesus?  Was she one of the "women and children" who weren't counted among the 5000 men who were fed by the 5 loaves and 2 fish after hearing the Sermon on the Mount?  Veronica is moved to pity for Jesus.  His face was bloodied and swollen.  He carried the cross like a common criminal as he was paraded through the streets, scorned, and mocked.  Yet she loved him and wiped his face tenderly, and he left his beautiful countenance upon her veil and a gift for her love.

Mary, Simon, and Veronica are true disciples.  They all point us to Christ by being Christ-like.  Their role in his Passion teaches us how to love and to serve.  Just as Jesus told the apostles at the last supper that they would be called to serve, these stations teach us how to serve.