Regrouping on a Wednesday Morning

In the Veggie Tales "classic" Josh and the Big Wall,

the Israelites have come to claim the land of Jericho following the plan revealed to Joshua by an angel of the Lord. As the Israelites walk around the city, the People of Jericho mock them, their plan, and their God. Jimmy Gourd says that he and the other "Israelites" should "fall back and regroup" after the People of Jericho (i.e., the French Peas) throw slushies on their heads. Jimmy and Jerry Gourd then plan to develop a "better way" to knock the wall down--one that won't involve humiliation and obedience, a rocket called "The Wallminator 3000" which will blast through the wall. Joshua urges Jimmy and the other Israelites to continue day after day with the original plan, and eventually, the walls come crumbling down because they did it God's way.

I often feel like Jimmy Gourd--with a figurative slushy dripping on my face and my best plans falling apart in front of me. I keep thinking, if I develop the perfect plan, like the "Wallminator 3000," I will get all of my work done, do a great job homeschooling my children, have a beautiful, well-organized home, and complete the decorating and shopping all before December 24. Are these goals worthwhile? More importantly, are these plans how God wants me to spend my time?

I pray every day, but do I really listen? I praise, thank, and petition the Lord, but maybe I'm just a "clanging gong." What is God's plan for me? I read a blog this morning about the Blessed Mother's total surrender to the Lord. Mary stopped everything to listen to God's plan for her. Mary's fiat, her total, selfless "yes" to God, is the model of holiness. I realize that I can't say yes if I don't know what is being asked of me. Of course, I don't expect Gabriel to pop in and sit with me at the kitchen table to tell me over tea what the Lord is asking of me. So, how can I surrender to God's will?

Jimmy Gourd's idea to "fall back and regroup" isn't a bad plan. The problem is that he wanted a better plan than God's plan. Wednesdays tend to be a good time for me to regroup, to consider what is being asked of me and to move forward with focus and direction. How is the week going so far? Are we as a family on track with the things we hope to accomplish before the weekend? Most importantly, though, have I put God first in my plans?

Heavenly Father, 

You have given me so many gifts. For those I thank you and praise you.
Send your Holy Spirit to guide me.
Give me wisdom, understanding, knowledge, and counsel to recognize your will.
Give me piety, fortitude, and fear of the Lord that I may surrender to your will each day. 

Amen.

Garage Project, Part Two

As I mentioned in my previous post, it would be very easy for me to go in the house, close the door, and ignore the garage without some specific deadlines and accountability. Two appointments this coming week have motivated us to keep moving!

On the back wall of the garage is a makeshift table from one of the wooden house doors we replaced 8 years ago. The door is on top of a couple sawhorses. As with any large flat surface, it is a great space for projects, but mostly it tends to be a place that accumulates clutter. The children leave toys, sweatshirts, paper, sidewalk chalk, and bubbles on the table. I tend to put gardening paraphernalia and painting supplies on the table, and admittedly not always in an orderly fashion. Consequently, when it comes time to start a project, I often spend the first 15 minutes finding the table under the clutter. On the adjacent wall is a three-tier shelf/workshop table that is partially inaccessible because it is partly behind the door table. During our Minimalism Game purge (I know, you're probably looking at the photos and thinking "What did you get rid of?"), we realized we could probably part with the cumbersome door table and rearrange a bit to streamline our storage, while reducing the flat surface invitation for clutter.

In order to make sure the door went away, I called our local building supply salvage store for a donation pick up. They are coming Thursday, so we cleared off the table this weekend. All we have to do now is put it outside on Wednesday evening.

Work surface? Nowhere to be found! 

See what I mean? Disaster. The items in the back corner
are inaccessible.

At least the floor is clear and I can fit the van in....

The next order of business was to figure out how we would deal with re-taping and mudding the ceiling to prepare for painting. A step ladder is not practical for this type of work. We asked a couple friends if they knew of anyone with scaffolding we could borrow. No luck. So I looked at the online catalog for the local construction rental place. I saw the perfect solution--a rolling work platform! I called and reserved the platform for Saturday morning. Since the store is closed on Sunday, we can get the platform for the whole weekend for the cost of 1.5 days!

One of the split seams on the ceiling.
My shoulders ache just thinking about this weekend!

You may not understand why these deadlines are so exciting to me. I will explain. Since we only have the platform for the weekend, the ceiling must be completed this weekend. No time to dilly-dally! That means by Monday morning, when I take the rolling platform back to the rental shop, the garage will have a fresh coat of paint and will look like a new place.

The project won't be done with the completed paint job, though. We still need to do some trim work around the windows. We also must make a decision on what to do with the floor (stain, paint, Racedeck, or simply clean what we have). Finally, when all the cleaning and painting is done, we will reorganize and possibly purchase a storage system to get things off the floor and orderly. The most overwhelming task, however, will be completed once the paint dries on the ceiling.

If you've done a garage makeover and have suggestions for tool and bike storage or floor treatments (pictures please, I'm a visual learner!), I'd love to see them!

Have a great week, and I hope to be sharing some great results, and maybe some interesting stories, next week!

Garage Project, Part One

When we bought our house back in 2005, we knew we would need to do some updating. We've done a little at a time, including a new roof and new doors, new faucets, lots of painting, a new garage door, and updating to the downstairs bathroom. We have a list of other updates we'd still like to make when they are in the budget. One of the worst spots in the house is the attached garage. It's "just a garage" so it was pretty been low on the priority list. Over the years, we have used the space for storing bikes, lawn and garden tools, and the van. I've also used it as a workshop for furniture and kitchen cabinet painting projects. My favorite use of the space is for practicing Irish Dance! Before our annual recital, sometimes alone and other years with my daughter or my friend, the van gets moved out and the floor swept, and then I practice my hard shoe dances. 

We are not planning to move any time in the foreseeable future, but since this is our third house, I've learned to remodel and update in terms of improving home value and sale-ability. An ugly garage space probably wouldn't be the main feature that would tank a home sale, but a fresh-looking garage could definitely be appealing to a buyer. The other thing I've learned after selling two homes is that it's smart to make the improvements for yourself, not for the next owner. I lived with dingy, ugly wall-to-wall carpet for several years at our previous house. I shampooed it, and it still looked bad. When we listed the house to sell, the realtor strongly suggested replacing the carpeting. I agreed, and the house looked so much better--for the next owner. This time, we're making the changes to make our home the way we like it.

House wall. See ugly paneling piece around the garage
door opener. The whole wall to the right of the house door
was pieced like that.

In spite of its usefulness, the interior of our garage is downright ugly. The wall attached to the house had some 1970s fake wood paneling, which would have been okay with a coat of paint, if the pieces weren't all smaller than 3' x 3'. They were oddly pieced in, and it looked super tacky. The lighting is poor and the windows are difficult to open, so it's stuffy in the middle of summer. In addition to the weird wall treatments, the sheet rock on the ceiling was taped and mudded, but never painted. As a result, the tape seams have cracked. Before his summer job started, my oldest son removed the fake wood paneling, revealing drywall like the ceiling and the other half of the house wall. The other walls are plywood. 

Attic access ladder is broken and tape seams are cracked.

My husband and I agreed last month that it's time to make some changes to the garage. Most of them are not expensive--just time consuming. We've already purged a lot of junk during June when I played the Minimalism Game, but then we had a couple weeks of not much progress. As any runner knows, having a race to train for is a great motivator. I am training for a half marathon 10 weeks from now. I started a couple months ago, and I'm starting to build up my mileage so that when race day rolls around, I'll be ready. A household project is easy to ignore and postpone, unless specific deadlines require accountability. The Minimalism Game helped because I knew we needed to purge 20+ items per day at the end of the month. Now that the game is over, it has been easy to focus on other things and ignore the garage. 

Enter...organized and hard-working husband. I had lots of other things I would have rather done last weekend, but my husband said he was planning to work on the garage. It wasn't necessarily the most romantic way to spend our anniversary, but we were working together, and that's a big motivator for me. If I have a partner and accountability, I have all the focus of a "normal" non-ADD person. I jumped into full-on work mode. We used the spackling compound we had on hand and finished patching and sanding the wall that had had the fake wood paneling. It's now nice and smooth and ready for priming and painting. Unfortunately, we ran out of supplies (we were using up what we had from other projects). So far, this project has cost "zero dollars"!

Tune in tomorrow for an update on this weekend's progress and the benefits of accountability!

Minimalist, I Am Not

Today, June 30, was the final day of my participation in the Minimalism Game with a group of friends. I have posted some of my daily decluttering tallies in this blog: here, here, here...and here. I have pondered whether decluttering would help my un-diagnosed ADD and whether the accountability in the game would help me maintain focus. The answer to both of those questions is "sort of." 

Pride is a useful tool. When other members of the group would send the group emails with their daily tallies, I couldn't let them beat me. I'm not always a "winner," but I am fairly competitive. My pride motivated me to keep purging junk, even though I wasn't highly motivated personally to get rid of things on certain days. I knew that the other members of the group would notice if I didn't send a message with my purge list, so the accountability kept me going to the end of the game.

Has the decluttering helped my focus? I would say, not yet. We have purged a lot, but several areas need more concentrated purging, then organizing before I can be in the spaces without being regularly distracted. Most importantly, the office needs an overhaul. However, some of the spaces that were particularly distracting to me are much better today than they were May 31.

Several members of my household have contributed to the item count. My daughter cleaned out the clothes that she doesn't wear and the socks with holes for a 20-something count. Because she cleaned out her dresser, I was able to repair a broken drawer, and her "clothes pile" is no longer on top of the dresser. The clothes are mostly put away, and I can now stand in her doorway and talk to her without feeling anxious at the sight of the clutter.

The boys helped my husband with a garage clean-up that tallied to the full count for days 28 and 29. When I drove the van into the garage today, I noticed that it felt much roomier. Organizing and painting the garage is the family project for the rest of this summer, so the Minimalism Game was a great first step to getting that project underway.

I was struggling today to finish the game. I had a bit of a headache and thought about not bothering with the final day. The pride thing started gnawing at me around 9 p.m.  I was sitting here wondering what I would do for the final 27 since I had the first 3 accounted for.  I kept looking at the shelves in the office closet, knowing that I probably could have gotten quite a few days’ worth out of there, but I hesitated to tackle the space for some reason. A few moments ago, my gaze fell upon a green basket. I remembered that I used to store cassette tapes in that basket. On top of the cassettes were some small photo albums. My daughter and I looked at baby pictures of her and the two older boys for a few minutes, then I dug in to find the cassettes!

Day 30

1.  Pair of my husband's old running shoes

2. A pair of holey, not holy, underwear.

3. Dried out glue stick

4-30! Mix tapes and other 1980s cassettes.

Done!!

For July, I will be working on the garage project and my Camp NaNoWriMo novel, but I may try a 31-day Minimalism Challenge for August with a special focus on the office and kitchen. Then, I'll let you know if my focus improves.

I have learned from this game that I am not a minimalist, and I probably never will be. However, we have recognized as a family that we have held on to a lot of junk that we really do not need. Clearing out the junk makes it easier to find what we do need and to use the useful things we'd forgotten because they were hidden in the clutter. 

Maintaining Focus through a Game

With all the things I'm getting rid of, I would expect the house to feel empty! Of course, lots of the items are small enough to fit in my hand, so the impact is gradual. Even so, this minimalism game is motivating me to keep purging junk, which will make it easier to find the things we need and keep the house clean.

My husband and I stood together in the garage the other day and considered some purging that we'll be doing in there this weekend. Days 21 and 22 should be a cinch since I'll have a team working with me! My husband will make sure that all of the children pitch in for the garage project!. Once the garage is purged and reorganized (and the ceiling and one wall painted), it will make getting in and out of the vehicle more comfortable and will make the tools, bicycles, and lawn mower much more accessible. In addition, it will look nicer and will be a welcoming place to drive into when I come home.

So, here are my decluttering accounts for days 13 to 17.

Day 13:

(1-12, trash!)

1-10 Pile of threadbare, holey cloth napkins that actually were in the washing machine. As I was moving things to the dryer, I thought, "Why are we keeping these? I have new ones with no holes!"

11-12 Facecloths that were threadbare, too.

13 A skort that I never wear (going to a friend)

Day 14:

(1-9 are in a bag to donate to Goodwill)

1-3 Skirts

4-6 Dresses

7-9 Sweaters

10-14 plant trays (3) and a bunch of empty "six packs" from plants, recycled

Day 15

1-3. Two water bottles and a belt for running--given to a friend who will use them!

4. Work ID from former employer, 2005

5. Refrigerator magnet

6. "Hallmark" book (basically an extended greeting card) 

7-9. Cubic zirconia necklace and two pairs of earrings 

10-15. Other costume jewelry (pin and several pairs of earrings).

Day 16

1-16 Medicine cabinet and linen closet purge of "lotions and potions"!  Samples of hair product that I'll never use, old nail polish (some that my daughter contributed to the cause!), multiple packets of mineral oil and a packet of oatmeal bath stuff from the 1990s.

Day 17

1-3 rags that have seen better days

4-7 several of my youngest son's 3rd grade workbooks

8-12 more HBA stuff

13 Dried up Mod Podge

14-17 T-shirts of mine that were so old, floppy, and ugly that I wouldn't even wear them to garden or paint.

Almost everything I've purged the last few days is trash that I've been ignoring. The game is making it so much easier to toss, toss, toss! 

As I write, I'm noticing that my office holds many items that we never use and that my tiny desk is a big mess. The office will be my decluttering focus for the next few days. Purging and then organizing this space is essential if I'm going to conquer my distracted nature when I am working!

In addition to being a homeschooling mom and a blogger, I teach a college composition class and am a freelance writer. I've written articles mostly for Catholic websites, but my personal goal is to write a novel. In fact, I hope to write many novels, but the trick is to finally finish one! I have started and quit NaNoWriMo several times (November is always too busy for me), so I'm hoping to finally write my first complete novel during Camp NaNoWriMo this July. 

Who knows, the Minimalism Game may just inspire the focus I need to stick with the writing project for the entire month!

Will Decluttering Help My ADD?

What makes me most distracted? Hmm--that's a tough one. I would say weeds and junk. If I walk outside between May and October, I will often lose track of my original mission and begin pulling weeds. If I walk into another room in the house to get something, I often forget my mission as I notice clutter along the way. I'm hoping that my participation in a decluttering mission for June will help me maintain focus as I move from one room to the next in my daily chores.

Today is Day 12 of the Minimalism Game. I had out of town company for days 8-11, so I did a couple days ahead of time, and I've caught up with the rest today. Over the past few months, my children have been on a chore rotation where the responsibility of washing and drying dishes and emptying the dishwasher is on a weekly rotation. The chores have gotten done consistently on most days. I'm always delighted to walk into the kitchen before bed and see that all the dishes have been washed, dried, and put away. Unfortunately, like a "clean" bedroom with a messy closet and a pile of stuff under the bed, my kitchen has become cluttered behind closed doors and drawers.

From time to time, I, as the mother and homemaker, must step in and correct the mess. I could "make them do it." I've taught them all many times to stack bowls of the same shape together and to corral the lids in a zipper bag to keep the storage container cabinet neat. In fact, I probably will recruit one of them to fix that particular mess. But the drawers and pantry were full of little bits of stuff that could easily be recycled or thrown away, ultimately making the clean-up process easier since the closets and drawers could more comfortably hold the items that really belong there in an orderly fashion. In any case, the decision of what to keep or toss is up to me.

With that goal in mind, I purged the following items.

Day 10:

I recycled 10 old gardening magazines. I did get distracted and look through all of them one last time. However, I discovered that radish seed pods can be used in stir fries, so it was worth the look (I have several radishes that have gone to flower this week).

Day 11:

1. Cat medication (over 4 years old)
2. Almost empty bottle of calcium with a "best used by date" of October 2010
3. Bottle of blackstrap molasses. Yes, it's a good source of iron. But it's gross.
4. Nearly empty can of Clorox Disinfecting Spray (I don't use many chemicals in the house anymore, so it has been in the closet for years!)
5. Dried out floral foam
6. Container of mini Christmas cookie cutters--used once, 6 years ago.
7. Lint roller handle for which I can no longer find refills
8. Bottle of eye medicine from 2011
9. Old shoe box that had corralled vinegar and other bottles in the pantry. Replaced with nice round tray that will function as a Lazy Susan.
10 & 11 Several Walgreens prescription instructions and an empty cough medicine bottle

Day 12

1. Broken plastic fork
2. Instructions for a salad spinner
3. Instructions for a can opener
4. Bent metal fork someone found in the yard, which was washed and put on the side in the silverware drawer years ago. Nobody has ever used it.
5. Broken wax crayon for use with Easter egg coloring
6-10 Medicine cups and spoons with calibration that is worn and hard to read
11 & 12 plastic baby spoon and fork set with teeth marks

All items except the cookie cutters went to the recycling or trash. I will give the cookie cutters to a friend or donate them to Goodwill since they are like new. As I have been decluttering for nearly two weeks, I am delighted when I open and close a drawer without a struggle. I feel more peaceful when things are orderly. And, if things are orderly, I can more easily maintain focus.

The kitchen is in much better shape now, and I have a better idea of what is on hand in the pantry and refrigerator. My next step is to make a menu and grocery list. Since the clutter is gone, I should be able to sit in the kitchen and get the lists done without distractions.

Do you struggle with ADD? Is your house cluttered? Maybe a month of the Minimalism Game will help you cut the clutter and establish more focus. If you try it, let me know how it goes!

Disclaimer: I am not trained as a doctor or psychologist, so I don't have professional qualifications to help you with ADD or ADHD. I'm simply a person who is easily distracted and is happy to share my experiences on things I've tried that help me to maintain focus.

A Game for Decluttering

A friend sent me an email last week inviting me to join her in The Minimalism Game. Apparently Josh Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus have made headlines and written books and blogs about being minimalists. I bounced around their website a bit and looked around at my clutter and thought, "Sure, why not?"

The Minimalism Game begins on the first day of a new month. The idea is to get rid of stuff every day in proportion to the date. On the 1st, one item. On the 5th, five items. All the way to the 30th (for June) when 30 items should go out the door for a monthly total of 465 items. According to their site, you can rid yourself of "Clothes, furniture, electronics, tools, decorations, etc. Donate, sell, or trash. Whatever you do, each material possession must be out of your house—and out of your life—by midnight each day." 465 sounds like a huge number to me. 

I have been putting off the decluttering I planned to do two years ago when I started this blog. The laundry room is better, but still not decluttered. The garage needs a major purging. And my closet has been neglected for far too long. Maybe I do have 465 items I can purge from my home.

If you are ready to declutter, join me in The Minimalism Game! I will post my progress each day. Feel free to share comments about your progress, too!

Today, June 1, I threw away a broken bicycle pump that was sitting in the garage for several years.

Tomorrow, I will find two more items!

We Can't Afford That

My husband and I are both frugal about most things. At times, I will mention various improvements that would be nice to make around the house or things I might like. Other times, he mentions bike or running gear that he would enjoy. We've both frequently responded to these dream purchases with the stock answer: "We can't afford that."

Around tax season this year, I started to reflect on whether we could "afford that"--whatever "that" may be. I realized that since my husband starting paying the bills 10 years ago, I haven't had the intimate awareness of our funds that I had early in our marriage--the awareness that enabled us to have a buffer in savings and to pay a vehicle off early. Sure, I'd look at the reports in Microsoft Money and see the income/expense comparisons, but it didn't mean much to me. I'd go shopping and blindly swipe the credit card, confident that we could pay the balance each month, but not really considering the future or our savings goals. We've had the van for 14 years. At some point it will need replacing, and I don't want a 5-year car loan!

I offered to relieve him of the money management duties earlier this year, not because I could do a better job than he could with paying bills, but because I could do a better job with my spending if I was more aware of our finances. After paying the bills and recording in Microsoft Money for a couple months, I wondered if there was a better system. We have attempted to use the Money budgeting tool for years, but it is cumbersome and doesn't give me the control and focus I was hoping to find in financial software. I couldn't easily change the dollars in a category to reflect the month-to-month changes in life. My husband has told me for years that budgets don't work. He's an accountant, and is 3/4 through the testing for the CPA, so he knows more about business and finance than I do. Although I didn't want to believe budgets couldn't work, it seemed he was right. 

Four rules for YNAB Method.
Image credit: http://www.youneedabudget.com/

I wasn't ready to give up, though. Like any modern thinker, I started searching the internet for answers. How could I better manage our funds so we could "afford that" if we really needed it? My search brought me to "You Need a Budget (YNAB)." YNAB is a method of money management that helped me recognize the problem wasn't with budgeting. The problem was with forecasting--planning a whole year's worth of spending before the dollars ever hit the bank accounts. If you look at the four rules of YNAB, you'll see that the first rule is to give every dollar a job. What does that mean? Simply, the money you have gets assigned to a budget category. No forecasting here. You take the money on hand, you look at your monthly expenses, and you start assigning the money to categories. 

The first thing I realized about YNAB was that it seemed friendly. I know, that sounds like a dorky reason to pick a budgeting software program, but stick with me here. YNAB offers a 34-day full-featured demo of the program so you can work through a full month's worth of bill paying and learn to use the software before making a financial commitment. YNAB also offers free online live classes, discussion forums, and personal support. I have taken several of the webinar classes, and each instructor was personable, knowledgeable, and helpful. With each webinar, I learned new skills to use for our budget.

The second thing I realized about YNAB was that it works the way I thought a budget should work. Forecasting is frustrating because there is no "typical month." Every month has an emergency or a surprise expense. Rules two, three, and four help us to plan, adapt, and adjust for those surprises so that we can "roll with the punches" and make informed decisions about our spending. 

YNAB utilizes the Cloud, so if you share accounts, each computer and smart phone for your household can share a single license. You can add spending instantly and check category balances before making a purchase, and every device will have up-to-date information. That also means that when my 5-year-old netbook dies, I won't have to worry that I've lost all of my budgeting history like we did when the old computer died with our only backup of Money 7 or 8 years ago.

Click here to purchase YNAB with 10% discount.

My experience with YNAB began with reading through the website and downloading the software. I started setting up accounts and categories for a day or so, and then participated in my first webinar. I didn't realize until the class started that for each class, YNAB gives a free license to one participant. I never won a license, even though I took four webinars. However, by the fourth webinar, and the 30th day of my trial period, I had budgeted for the purchase of the software! 

Since I found the software through another blogger's website, I realized I could get a 10% discount if I used her code to purchase the software. She, in turn could earn $6 for the referral. Since I purchased the software, I now have a referral code which can save you 10% on YNAB! If you are new to my blog, please bookmark this article and then download the YNAB trial. If you don't win a free copy through the webinars and decide to purchase, please come back and use this referral code to get your 10% discount!

I have been using YNAB for almost two months now. As I mentioned earlier, we live a frugal lifestyle, but seemed to be living paycheck to paycheck. By using YNAB, we're very close to achieving the Rule 4 ideal of living off of last month's income. The rainy day funds could be bigger and our retirement planning definitely needs more attention, but in the short term, I feel more confident about our spending. This morning, I was able to say: "You need new running shoes? Yes, we can afford that today."

Plans for My Lenten Journey

Every day I think about how to make things better in my life. How can I make better use of my resources? How can I be a better homeschooling mom? How can I be a better wife and mother? How can I gain some focus and accomplish things instead of wasting time online looking at recipes and cat videos? When I re-read this paragraph, I see a lot of "I" and feel rather self-centered. I want to do better and be better, but maybe the best way to do that is to become "other-centered."

This past weekend, our parish youth group held a formation meeting where the youth and their parents listened to a talk by Matthew Kelly in which he discussed prayer and habits. He stressed the importance of listening in prayer rather than listing our desires and demands to God for Him to do our will. Kelly also brought to light the significance of our habits in shaping us. Saints and greats differ from the rest of humanity in one significant way, he explained, and the way they differ is in their habits. One example he mentioned was Michael Jordan. When Jordan didn't make the high school basketball team because he wasn't consistent from the free-throw line, he changed his habits. Until he sunk 600 free-throws for the day, he wouldn't go to bed for the night. We know the rest of the story. His habit changed who he was from the kid who got cut to the man who became a basketball legend.

For those who don't have a regular prayer life, Matthew Kelly suggests beginning with 10 minutes of prayer every day.  Follow that simple habit,  Kelly says, and "You won't recognize yourself after six weeks" because you will change for the better. 

I know he's right. A few years ago my prayer life was very sporadic, and I was not joyful. Now, I consistently pray and read the daily readings each morning before my youngest children are awake. I have changed for the better. I still have a long way to go, but that little change, 15 minutes or so each morning with scripture and reflections in the Magnificat has helped me get to know God better. My mornings are pretty good. However, the rest of the day lacks focused prayer time. I receive a few daily emails with reflections on the Catechism, the Gospels, and Danielle Bean's Momnipotent Study. These messages give me reminders of the central role God should have in my life, even when I'm at the computer.

On this Sunday before Lent, my thoughts turn to sacrifice and purification. Lent is a time to turn inwardly, not to be "all about me," but instead to consider what I must do to become a saint. Matthew Kelly stresses "becoming the best version of yourself" and Fr. Pedro at our parish often reminds us that we should all strive to become saints, which of course is the "best version" of ourselves.

How we become saints will be different for each of us. Reading the Bible and books by saints can be a great place to start. Alms giving, prayer, and fasting are the three Lenten disciplines that can be used any time during the year to bring us closer to God. Attending Stations of the Cross on Fridays is a powerful devotion that reminds us how much God loves us--enough to take the sins of the whole world to the Cross. 

As part of my Lenten journey, I am planning to read the first volume of The Mystical City of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda and to include evening prayer as part of my daily habits this Lent. I am also planning to write more reflections in this blog regarding what I read. 

My hope for you and for me is that on Ash Wednesday, March 5, 2014, we will begin a journey that prepares us to receive Jesus with full Easter Joy on April 20, 2014, knowing and loving Him more than we knew we could.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

 

FlyLady Motto and My New Year's "Musing"

The FlyLady offers thoughtful reflections in her "Morning Musings." She often mentions that perfectionism is a problem for "Sidetracked Home Executives" (SHEs). Today's musing is How Our Mottos Gently FlyWash Us. Over the past few days I was wondering what the new motto would be--and now I'm wondering if I can come up with one that the FlyLady would like.

When I discovered the FlyLady website about six years ago, I initially scoffed at this concept that perfectionism was negative. What could possibly be wrong with doing things correctly and thoroughly? For readers who are unfamiliar with the FlyLady, she offers a sensible, realistic, and gentle approach to home management.  Do I follow every idea she presents?  No.  If I did, though, I'd probably be more relaxed, have more fun time with my family, and a cleaner house. However, after six years of receiving her emails, I can honestly say she's the only "daily digest" I've never considered "unsubscribing" from.

Upon reflection, I have finally realized over the past couple weeks that I do struggle with the perfectionism. I have a 2' by 3' white board next to my desk where I've been noting things that need doing--a running to-do list of the big things around the house that don't have a specific due date on the calendar. The whole board is full of notes regarding things like:

• Tidying the gardening things, toys, etc. in the garage
• Bringing furniture in from the yard
• Taking old electronics to Staples for recycling
• Scrubbing windows
• Writing the novel I started four years ago
• Making blueberry jam

Some of these items would take less than 15 minutes to complete.  Many would take less than an hour.  I've had numerous excuses for not completing them:

• "I need to leave to pick up someone from practice in a little while." 
• "I still have 30 papers to grade." 
• "I need to figure out what I'm making for dinner."

What's the real reason "nothing is getting done"? Perfectionism. The biggest example in my home right now is the living room. I started redecorating at the beginning of last summer. I arranged to have the sofa and love seat reupholstered. While the furniture was gone (for almost two months--but that's a whole different story), we painted the ceiling, walls, and woodwork. I felt so pleased because the room looked fresh and inviting. The furniture finally came back, and fear set in: "The cats are going to ruin my newly upholstered couches." One of my kitties was adopted from the animal shelter when she was a year and a half old. She had bad manners when we got her--she was a sofa scratcher. She is 7 now and behaves most of the time, but when she wants attention she is inclined to scratch. I bought a spray that was supposed to deter cats and sprayed it on some scrap fabric. I placed it on the floor. She walked over, sniffed it, then sat on it. Clearly, the spray would not keep her away from the sofa. We have a scratching post that she will use, but she did go after the furniture in the past, so I've been terrified of walking in to find the new upholstery torn to ribbons.

What is the solution? The upholsterer had leftover fabric that I'd intended to use to make pillows, but the more practical use seems to be arm covers. Covering the arms will cover the section on the front of the couch where the cat is most likely to scratch. I've been considering this project for three months now. I have searched for instructions online on more than one occasion. Instead of getting it done, I've covered the arms of the sofa with blankets and the entire loveseat is covered in an old quilt that slides around when the children sit there. Then the arm is exposed again and the angst returns. The cats, however, are happy. They lie on the quilt and feel quite cozy. I, on the other hand, cringe at how trashy the room looks when the whole point of reupholstering the formerly shredded couches was to make the room inviting. I rarely sit in the living room now because it frustrates me too much.  

In addition to the coverings on the couches, I've been hoping to make or purchase new curtains. Again, hours of shopping online and in stores for fabric or ideas to treat the window and complete the room have resulted in the same old curtains hanging there, looking out of place as the teal shade looks odd against the new blue walls. Finally, this week, I decided on curtains and ordered them before I could change my mind again.  

It's all just stuff, really, and I feel materialistic (more guilt) that I've obsessed about it so much. BUT, the whole point of the project was to make the living room an inviting place for the family to gather and friends to visit.

My agenda for today is clear (dual meaning--no appointments, and I recognize what must be done). I will use the 2008 "Do it now!" motto and get some things done today in the living room. I did begin the arm cover project a couple days ago, but the mock-up didn't fit well, so I looked for better instructions which I will use to finally complete that project and put the blankets to better use. I will also get the old curtains down and the windows washed so the new curtains can be hung when they arrive this week.  

It will feel great to erase some of the items from the white board.  Maybe I will "Wipe the Slate Clean for 2014."

Happy New Year, Happy Advent!

First of the month.  Mondays.  New school years.  New liturgical years.  All of these "beginnings" give me hope to improve upon the way I'm living.  But here it is, Wednesday morning of the first week of Advent, and I'm just getting around to reflecting upon the "Happy New Year!" greeting I offered on Thanksgiving (my birthday was last week, too, so it really is my new year right now).

When I log into this blog, I usually look to see how many viewers have visited the site and which post brought them here.  The latest view was "Struggling to Keep Your Resolutions" which was a link to another blogger's post.  My most popular title is "Maybe I Have ADD," followed by "Girls and ADHD or ADD" and "Decluttering My Domestic Church."  Clearly, I am attracting readers who are like me--distracted and seeking order.  Chances are, you may feel like you are chasing your tail and not accomplishing anything.  A little reflection will probably indicate that you accomplish much more than you think you do, but you need to put it in perspective.

Yesterday, I woke up feeling very optimistic.  I had finished a big grading project for my "paying job" on Monday afternoon (I teach English part-time at a local college) and hoped to tackle my household to-do list.  When I looked at my white board in the afternoon to check items off the to-do list, I realized that I had completed lots of "invisible" tasks that weren't on the written to-do list.  I washed my bedding, dusted all the ceiling fans in the house, watered the plants, made a couple of important phone calls, printed paperwork for my eldest's college application process, finished some homeschool lessons with the boys, reduced the giant pile of Black Friday ads and other clutter on the kitchen counter, and put away the Thanksgiving decorations (all four of them). My desk was still cluttered. The carpet was still not vacuumed.  Dead plants were still residing in the front garden. Dinner was still not planned. Worst of all, we hadn't read the saint of the day on the feast of St. Francis Xavier. What kind of Catholic homeschooling mom ignores the feast of St. Francis Xavier?  I had a plan, but somehow forgot about it while I watered the plants 6 hours earlier and let the boys sleep late. I bounced from task to task without a clear focus, and several priorities were neglected. It would be dark in less than an hour, so outside work was probably not going to happen.

The children heartily suggested I go clothing shopping with my daughter and then buy pizza for dinner.  The thought was tempting, but I was in frumpy gardening clothes because I had intended to work outside and in the garage since the weather was mild.  A trip to the mall was out of the question, and ordering pizza was not in the budget or plan.

The plan!  I remembered that I had a plan.  I had made a menu for November and December with my friend a few weeks ago. Life is much easier with a menu. I have stuck to the menu for a few weeks, and my days have gone smoothly.  The grading project had consumed four straight days, though, and I hadn't looked at the December meal plan when I went to the store last week. For Tuesday, chicken stir fry was on the menu.  Unfortunately, I didn't have chicken or stir-fry vegetables in the house. As I pondered my options, a child came to me asking for video game time.  Distracted Mama often says, "Sure, you're done with school, go ahead." Then, once they are playing, I notice their chores haven't been done.  I had a moment of clarity and remembered the leaves and clean-up that needed to happen in the garden (items on the written to-do list) and said, "First, I need help with the yard." He and his brother were willing to work for their screen time, so I showed them the plants that should be pulled out before the ground freezes.  After they went off to their task, I took care of emptying three cans of kitchen scraps into the compost and sorted through the remaining tomato harvest.  I had picked all of the green tomatoes in October, and they have been ripening on a table in the garage.  A few were rotten, but I found about 12 nicely ripened tomatoes, and from there developed my plan for dinner.

The happy sunflower in July.  Yesterday, it was brown and the seeds
had been consumed long ago by the birds.

The boys finished their task, and I granted permission for some screen time. I took the tomatoes to the kitchen, found the other ingredients, and took a look out the window.  I had just enough daylight to take care of the rest of the dead plants in the front garden that were too big for the boys.  Last summer, I planted vegetables in the front yard.  Giant "gone to seed" broccoli and dead sunflowers have adorned the front lawn for a couple months, making me cringe every time I see them.  I dragged the wheelbarrow to the front yard, yanked the overgrown beasts from the earth, piled them in the wheelbarrow and pushed them to their resting place in a new compost heap.  It took 15-30 minutes to change the appearance of my front lawn from unkempt to tidy (well, tidier--the rest of the leaves are still there).  I still had time to make dinner before my husband got home from work.

How I made an easy, but kinda fancy-sounding dinner:
Roasted Tomatoes with Salmon and Orzo
Ingredients:
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 med. red onion, coarsely chopped
12 ripe tomatoes, quartered
6 cremini mushrooms, thickly sliced
One can Wild Salmon
1/2-3/4 cup Parmesan Cheese
2 Frozen pesto cubes (2-4 T prepared pesto)
16 oz. Orzo pasta

First, I drizzled EVOO in a casserole dish and preheated the oven to 400.  To the casserole, I added a coarsely chopped red onion, quartered tomatoes, 6 cremini mushrooms, two "pesto cubes" from the freezer, and a can of wild-caught salmon.  The casserole went into the oven, and then I started water for the pasta.  After about 15 minutes, I gave the veggies and salmon a stir and realized the oven needed to be hotter, so I set it to 450.  When the orzo was cooked, the veggie mixture was fragrant and bubbling nicely.  I stirred the two together and added about a half cup of Parmesan cheese.  It was creamy, yummy, deliciousness!

Dinner was ready and waiting when my husband arrived!  The children and I got everything on the table, and my oldest lit the first Advent candle.  I sang "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" (while the children groaned) and we waited for my husband to join us at the table.

After dinner, my husband and I prayed the rosary with the child who had requested video game time earlier.  While we prayed, I reflected on the day and on my family and our many blessings.  I realized that the day wasn't perfect and that the yard work could have gotten done completely, leaves and all, if we'd gone out right after lunch.  The way it turned out, though, was much more peaceful and really was good enough for the day.  I wasn't burdened with the work, and neither was anyone else.

When the younger boys went to bed, I took another look at the to-do list and realized there were two important computer items I could complete and erase before bed.

Several times throughout the day I had contemplated simply taking a nap or wasting time on Facebook (okay, I did do that), but the New Year's feeling helped motivate me to finish lots of little things.

This morning, I again woke feeling very optimistic.  I didn't think I had accomplished much yesterday, but as I wrote this post (at my cluttered desk), I realized this New Year is off to a good start.  Yes, there will be days where I don't "accomplish anything" and probably give in and buy take-out pizza. Yes, I am still easily distracted. However, priorities, menus, and a white board next to my desk all help.  And remembering it's Advent and new liturgical year give me hope.  Happy New Year, everyone.

I welcome comments to this blog! What are you doing to celebrate the "New Year"?  How does celebrating Advent help you to focus on Christ all around you?  If you struggle with ADD/ADHD or wonder if you have it, what do you do to stay on task?

Facebook Fast

For the last two years, several of my Facebook friends have "given up" Facebook for Lent.  Some did the whole stretch from Ash Wednesday until Holy Saturday, coming back to say "Happy Easter!"  Others checked in on Sundays throughout Lent, which are not counted in the 40 Days.

Recently, I've noticed that completing my work has been very difficult.  As I've mentioned on this blog before, I'm easily distracted.  Since I teach distance education English classes, my work is all online.  I connect to my students through Blackboard and grade their papers on the computer.  When I open my internet browser, Facebook was not a home page for me, but it was a button on my browser bookmark bar that always showed at the top of the screen, calling me to check in no fewer than 10 times a day.

What could be so urgent?  I would scroll through the cute pictures, follow links to interesting articles, keep abreast of what was happening in my friends lives, all the while neglecting my work.  If my kids came down the hall, I'd feel like I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.  I wasn't doing anything wrong but I still felt guilty.  The minutes and hours I could be spending on grading papers, cleaning my house, and most importantly, reading to and doing school with my children were being frittered away on Facebook.  The first step to recovery in any addiction program is for the addict to admit she has a problem.  However, we know that ultimately any exposure to the object of the addiction is detrimental.  I clearly have a Facebook problem. The question, though, is whether it's an addiction.

I've decided to refrain from Facebook for all of Lent, even Sundays.  I love the connectedness Facebook provides.  The quick delivery of information about events and the needs of my friends is of clear value.  However, unplugging and focusing on the people in my life seems to be where the Lord is calling me this Lent.  I pray that this time away will give me perspective and better control of my internet usage.  Information, like every tool, is a gift from God. Our usage of those gifts must be in conformity with God's will for us, which will always be accompanied by peace.  If Facebook makes you look over your shoulder like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar, clearly peace is not with your use of the gift.

Dear Lord, 

Please grant me the gift of Wisdom to recognize your will for me this Lent.  

Amen.

Spring Cleaning in January

Wow do we have a lot of stuff!  My family has a small 3 bedroom ranch with a partially-finished basement which I lovingly refer to as the boys' dormitory.  My daughter and I decided recently to swap her bedroom with the home office, which had been her bedroom a few years ago.  She mentioned that she wanted her room to be green (the color she had picked when her room was in the current office space) instead of light purple.  I said, "Maybe we can paint this summer--or maybe you can just have the green room back."  I thought moving furniture would be easier than painting, and we wouldn't need to wait for warm weather to open the windows.  She loved the idea and began "cleaning" to prepare for the move.

If you read my article "Bouquets of Love" you know a little bit about my daughter.  She saves lots of useful things and is very crafty and artistic.  My husband and I share the home office.  I have a desk that's rather tiny--my choice in the hopes of minimizing the likelihood that it will be covered in stuff.  I used to have a large L-shaped desk which mostly collected stuff and wasn't terribly useful.  The new desk has just one drawer and a narrow cabinet that holds binders and answer keys for our homeschool.  Even though it's tiny, it still holds plenty of useful things.  My husband has a large desk with a hutch that holds a shelf full of books and many useful things.  In the office, we also had a bookshelf and a closet with shelves full of many useful things.  You are no doubt recognizing the trend here. The stuff would need to be moved (or permanently re-moved). Needless to say, swapping the two rooms was probably just as time consuming as painting would have been.

Mike was heading to Florida for a conference, so Elizabeth and I decided to swap closets and bookshelves while he was gone.  I thought it would be a rather simple process--pull the books, move them to the other room.  Every stack I moved seemed to multiply.  Old magazines, homeschool textbooks, readers from the first composition class I taught in 1996, lots of holy cards and greeting cards from religious orders, knickknacks, tchotchkes, trinkets (yes, those last three are redundant--as was much of the clutter).  We filled trash bags and recycling bins and donation boxes.  After many hours, the closet and bookshelf transition was complete.

Initially, I thought that we would just move the big stuff when Mike got home...until the next morning.  Elizabeth's things were in the office.  My things were in her bedroom closet. Annoying? Yes. We decided the inconvenience was unnecessary and that we should move the furniture immediately.  Did you ever notice that on remodeling and home improvement shows, they are able to move everything in an hour?  We did not have the magic of television to assist us.  We also had no men.  I don't care what the ultra-feminists say.  I like having men in my life, and I like when they pick up heavy things that are simply too cumbersome for me to move on my own or with my petite 13-year-old daughter.  Anyway, I kept looking at my husband's big desk and tried to recall how he and his friend maneuvered it into the office two or three years ago.  Before the desk could be moved, it had to be cleared and emptied.  All of the useful things were moved to my bedroom.  If the job wasn't completed that day, I'd have to sleep on the couch.

My sewing machine cabinet and the office chairs were all moved into my bedroom and the area rug was moved into the mudroom.  Once the desk was clear, I measured it a few more times (I'd already measured it and the doorway five times, hoping the results would change.  Desk: Depth: 30.5, Height 28 (without the hutch), Length: 59.5.  Doorway: 29.5, if door is removed.  Hmmm.  I honestly didn't remember the guys removing the hutch, but I have no clue how else they could have made it through the doorway.  I imagined myself as a master Tetris-player, turning the L-shaped chunkiness in a skilled angle to slip gingerly through the door across the narrow hallway to the other room.  Hmmmm.  13-year-old daughter attempted to help me lift the desk to put it on its end.  Fail.  11-year-old son attempted to help me remove the hutch.  We started to get it, but I noticed lots of nails and thought "They didn't take all those nails out--there must be another way."  We stopped and I measured again.  Feeling somewhat defeated, I told Elizabeth we needed her older brother.  She looked at the clock and said, "What time does he come home?"  It would still be several hours.  We continued cleaning the floors and purging junk.  Unfortunately, that desk had to move before we could move any of the other furniture between the two rooms.

15-year-old strong boy finally came home from school and laughed at me.  Not mean-spiritedly.  He simply said "not happening," when I told him we should be able to somehow get the desk through the door.  I measured again said that the height of the desk would fit through the doorway.  He responded, "take off the top thing and we'll move it." That was my original plan, but it seemed too involved when we tried earlier. I checked the nails again and realized they popped out easily and a couple turns of locking screws released the hutch.  Man-child easily helped me lift the desk so we could turn it and slip it ever-so-carefully through the doorway. Initially, we attempted to turn the desk to go to the other doorway.  However, the skinny hallway would have none of that nonsense.Then, my Tetris skills came in handy. I paused and pondered, trapped at the end of the hallway with everyone else on the other side of the chunky desk. We did not need to turn the desk.  It was already facing the right direction to go through the other doorway.  Move the rectangle out, over, down, and into the open space.  Success!  

With the desk finally in place, the rest of the move only took 3 or 4 more hours, which included reassembling two computers and replacing all of the useful things on and in the desks.  I slept in my bed.

My first morning with the new space proved to be productive and peaceful.  Elizabeth seems to love her new space as well.  With clean, organized rooms, we were both better able to focus on our work.  Simply having a tidy space made me less distracted throughout the day.  And the biggest bonus--my desk is next to a window that overlooks the garden, so when I'm writing I can look out at nature.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for your bounteous gifts.  Help us to use those gifts for your greater glory.  Thank you for men and boys, for their strong arms and tender hearts.  Teach them to love as you love. Thank you for girls and women with creative minds and big ideas.  Help them to use their talents to honor you.

Amen.

Girls and ADHD or ADD

This article  on www.lifescript.com reiterates what I have read in other places about ADHD.  Girls are often not diagnosed with ADHD because their behaviors are different from boys with ADHD.

Last summer I wrote Maybe I Have A.D.D. and have gotten more hits on that post than any other on my blog.  I'm clearly not alone!  Parenting Advice for Girls with ADHD focuses on school children, but we can certainly apply these ideas in the grown-up world.  The point that spoke most directly to me was that girls with ADHD are often chatty rather than unruly and bouncing around.  Guilty!  All I wanted to do in school was talk to my friends.  My mind was like a ball in pinball machine, bouncing all over during class.  My thoughts jumped from bumper to bumper, then the ball would fall in a hole if the teacher called my name.

Somehow I was able to earn solid grades throughout my education in spite of not paying close attention during many lectures.  God had a plan for me--my maiden name began with "B" and I was younger and shorter than most of my peers.  In classes with assigned seating by name or height, I often sat close to the front of the room.  I vividly remember the classes where I sat in the back, not for their academic content but for the conversations with my peers.  In college, I instinctively recognized that I must sit in the front of the room, and my focus improved tremendously.

As I continue to homeschool my three youngest children, knowing that two of them will likely be heading to school next fall, I take from this article some excellent advice and suggestions to prepare them now for the educational challenges that will face them in a room full of new people and distractions in September.  Likewise, I recognize that mild cases of ADHD can be kept in check with environmental changes and awareness.

Good Monday Morning!

If you are sick this morning, drink fluids, rest, and feel better soon--and cover your coughs and sneezes! If you are tired this morning, do your best anyway, and remember that if you smile, someone else will, too. If you are frustrated this morning, take a moment to collect yourself and try to swallow any sarcasm you're tempted to spew. If you are happy this morning, spread that sunshine! If you're reading my blog, I just offered a prayer for you to have a good day and for God to bless all of your works this day. Love, Karen

Natural "Spark" to Treat ADD and Other Conditions

Last night I finished reading Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by John J. Ratey, M.D (2008).  My family physician recommended the book at my annual checkup last month.  I told my doctor of my various discomforts and moodiness—I’m pretty healthy, but hadn’t been feeling 100%.  He didn’t offer pills or suggest a battery of tests.  He simply asked, “Do you exercise regularly?” I hung my head a bit and answered, “Well, I did.”  Notably, my checkup was about a month or so after I ran a half-marathon with my daughter, then abruptly stopped running or exercising.  I was full of excuses—It’s too dark when I want to run…My running shoes don’t feel right…I have too many papers to grade.  Along with the excuses came distractedness, crankiness, and an achy body.  In spite of my overall commitment to healthy living “through diet and exercise,” I didn’t readily recognize that the weeks of sedentary behavior made me feel terrible!

I tend to get the “season-change blues” in late October-early November every year.  The darkness overwhelms me.  The garden is put to bed, so I am less likely to go outdoors.  School is in full swing, and I have essays to grade. Consequently, late fall becomes my season to sit.  I blamed seasonal affective disorder for my woes, but opted to wait for the spring thaw rather than to be pro-active.

My doctor was very enthusiastic about Spark. He described how 1990-1999 was the Decade of the Brain and that research completed in that decade helped doctors to understand the brain and how to treat conditions related to brain function (like depression, A.D.D., Parkinson’s, and Alzheimers).  Ratey’s book takes that foundation and incorporates further research related to the connection of exercise to improvements in behavior, intelligence, mood, recall, and hormonal changes in women. The subtitle, Supercharge Your Mental Circuits to Beat Stress, Sharpen Your Thinking, Lift Your Mood, Boost Your Memory, and Much More, describes the book in a nutshell. 

Many of the readers of my blog seem to find Living the Sweet Catholic Life when searching “Maybe I Have A.D.D.” The chapter of Spark called “Attention Deficit: Running from Distraction” especially attracted my attention as I scanned the Contents. I long for order and schedules (which is common amongst those with A.D.H.D.) but I simultaneously resist such “rigid restrictions.”  My husband is regimented. He has trained for marathons and ultra-marathons while working full time and completing his MBA.  When he was in school, he scheduled his study times and wouldn’t let anything trivial disrupt his routine.  I wonder just how much running has helped his ability to focus and learn—he finished the MBA with a 4.0 GPA!

Though I admire my husband’s routines and dedication, I cannot seem to implement similar schedules for myself. We joke that I’m a free spirit (translate: bird attracted to shiny objects). When I grade papers, I’m lucky to make it through two essays before I search for something online—usually related to the paper, but sometimes not. I desire the results that can be achieved from schedules, but I can’t seem to make myself accountable. I’ve started three novels, two of which I desperately want to complete, but they sit in my Novel folder on the computer with just 20 pages each.  I know what needs to be done, and mostly I get the important stuff done on time.  However, I believe I’m capable of more.  Regular exercise just might be the answer I’m seeking.

When my daughter and I trained for the half-marathon, I made sure we kept to a running schedule.  The routine was good for both of us.  After the race, life was busy and we didn’t seem to have time to run.  In the weeks prior to my regularly scheduled physical everything seemed to change. My body hurt.  My PMS was worse than ever.  I cried for no reason.  When I described the symptoms to the doctor and he recommended exercise as the remedy, I took it seriously.  That evening, I made it back to my Irish dance class for the first time in over a month.  I told my family, “I have to go to dance tonight—doctor’s orders!”  I danced for two hours, and it felt so good to be back!  I made it for four consecutive weeks before the holiday break, and my blues seem to have melted away.  I have started running again, but not as regularly as before the race.  Just those two or three days of exercise each week have already improved my health. 

So, exercise is good medicine for me, but why did I review the book for my blog?  In part, because it’s exciting information! The phrase “something for everyone” comes to mind.  Do you have kids?  They will do better in school if they exercise daily, especially before they study. They will be healthier overall and have better behavior. Are you or someone you know and love reaching the golden years?  Regular exercise can tremendously improve the quality of life for seniors, helping their minds stay sharp and reducing the need for a cabinet full of prescription drugs.  Are you a woman?  Exercise helps women who are pregnant have healthier babies and reduces PMS and Menopausal discomforts.  ADHD?  Anxiety? Depression? Addiction?  All of these health problems can be treated safely and effectively with regular exercise.  And the side effects are a healthier brain and body, with reduced risks for heart disease and diabetes. 

Not convinced that exercise will make a difference for you?  Consider the following studies described in Spark.  First, the Naperville District 203 school students. The 19,000 students are some of the fittest and smartest students in the nation.  Exercise is central to the district’s success.  Next, a new mom experienced severe post-partum depression.  After meeting with Dr. Ratey, she and her husband went directly to purchase an elliptical machine during a Friday afternoon rainstorm.  Her husband wanted so much for her to feel better that he assembled the machine immediately.  She felt the physical burn from the workout and knew she was doing something good for her body.  He first noticed that she was finally sleeping soundly, which quickly alleviated the exhaustion and improved her mood.  Finally, and most profoundly, was a nun who had exercised her mind (along with the other sisters in her order) through “vocabulary quizzes, mental puzzles, and debates about public issues” (243).  Sister Bernadette died at age 85 of a heart attack.  Though she was mentally sharp until her death, a postmortem examination of her brain (which she had donated “to science as part of an ongoing study…by epidemiologist David Snowdon) indicated massive damage from Alzheimer’s disease.  The use it or lose it principal applies here.  Though the damage will still occur for those afflicted with Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s, physical and mental exercise, and especially social interaction, will keep us healthier than any pill created by modern science. 

God has given us the tools to care for our bodies and brains—exercise and interaction with people.  Our modern culture fosters a sedentary lifestyle and too much screen time.  I am inspired by Dr. Ratey’s book, and I hope to share the message that physical fitness is about more than “looking good” or “being thin.” Physical fitness strengthens our minds and bodies—improving our quality of life.

Note: Before beginning any exercise program always consult a physician.  Likewise, do not stop medications unless advised to do so by your doctor. 

A.D.D., A.D.O.S., or Life in the Internet Age?

When I started this little blog, I hoped it would motivate me to get my laundry room organized and eliminate clutter in my domestic church.  The thought of taking pictures of my newly organized space and sharing successes in the hopes of helping other distracted moms inspired me. We had succeeded in painting just one short wall and organizing a few sections of the laundry room when the temporary lull in our family schedule disappeared.  I haven't been able to finish anything else in that space since school started.

Last Friday, I finally moved the clutter out of the "family room" section of the basement and back into the laundry room since I know I won't be painting any other walls before Christmas.  Back to square one!  The section of the room that was destined to be a workout area is again full of boxes of clothing and art supplies that I haven't used in three years.

Which begs the question: Why can't I just finish the job?  My blog post that has gotten the most traffic is "Maybe I have A.D.D," so I recognize that many of you must have similar struggles.  Is it A.D.D. or something else? I know I have difficulty staying on task when I'm online.  If I am grading student essays, I am often curious about ideas in their papers which prompt me to do a "quick" search.  Next thing I know, I've checked two or three sites that are related to the essay.  Then I notice that I have received a new email and take a moment to read the message.  Next thing I know, I've spent 45 minutes to do a 15 minute task.

The problem isn't isolated to internet usage.  My parents and grandma came to visit for my son's confirmation this past weekend.  I was spinning in circles for days before they arrived.  My timer helped me stay focused enough to keep the laundry up-to-date.  However, everything else I did was interrupted by my own racing mind.  Shaking the rugs from the bathroom would remind me to scrub the trash baskets which in turn would remind me that the wall in the kitchen had cobwebs on it.  Meanwhile, I needed to make an urgent appointment at the pediatrician and buy groceries before taking one child to swimming and picking the other up from cross country.  Not to mention music lessons.  I chose to homeschool because we wanted to give our children a good, Catholic education, and because I wanted flexibility and family-control of our schedule. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to give someone else control of the schedule--someone who has a better sense of time and the ability to say no.

My guess is that a lot of my readers who are finding me through a search about A.D.D. are equally scattered and busy.  My friend told me about a "condition" called A.D.O.S.--Attention Deficit, Ooooooh Shiny! Those suffering A.D.O.S. are easily distracted by shiny objects or exciting things.  The exciting things are my shiny objects.  I often think I have time to do this little project or that fundraiser, and next thing I know I'm stressed out, behind on my work, and impatient.

Like I said, the children are involved in numerous activities which are all great for them.  But driving them here, there, and everywhere leads to chaos.  I long for simplicity, but thwart my own efforts by seeking out activities to fill the day.

Hurricane Sandy and the other two big storms are set to converge, which may lead to widespread power outages.  Last October, our area suffered a week-long power outage.  Other than being a bit chilly because our forced-air gas furnace relies on electricity, the week was great!  We read books, spent time together, and didn't have to go anywhere for days.  My A.D.D. or A.D.O.S. was gone for the week!  I had clarity and focus, and the house stayed pretty clean.  I honestly don't want the power to go out today, but I'm glad the outside activities are already cancelled. We'll "do school" this morning and maybe some baking as long as the power is on, and then just be together the rest of the day--sweetness !

Reevaluating My Expectations

I had intended to post to the blog weekly, if not daily.  It's been nearly three weeks since my most recent post.  Why?  I don't want to use the "b" word--busy.  "Busy" is just an overused excuse.

In the past few weeks, my housekeeping has been inadequate, my meal prep has been icky, and my temper...okay, this blog isn't the confessional.  However, I have realized in the past few days (partly because I received the graces of the Sacrament of Reconciliation) that the expectations I have for what I can accomplish on any given day are generally unrealistic.  Also, they tend to be me-driven instead of God-driven.  I made a giant list on the white board this morning and assigned tasks to certain days as I prepare for my family to come visit for my eldest child's Confirmation this Saturday.  The list may be a bit too ambitious, but at least I don't expect to do everything in one day.

Usually, when company is coming, I lose my mind a little bit, in the whole "SHE Perfectionism" that FlyLady talks about so often. I know, we're not supposed to use the "P" word.  I want the house to look nice.  I want the food to taste great.  I want. I want. I want.

Some of the things I want are reasonable and good things to do in preparation for company.  Others are over-the-top.  Do I really need to scrub the kitchen walls and all the windows in the house this week?  I'm not on vacation from work or homeschooling, so I would be taking time from my responsibilities to look good in the eyes of others.   Pride.

Maybe instead of trying to make everything magazine perfect, I can make it comfortable and welcoming.  I can spend a few minutes wiping down the wall near the stove that needs freshening and removing the kitty nose prints from the most obvious spots.  It's not worth the stress of trying to be perfect for people who already know I'm not!  They are coming to visit us, not my house.  As long as the bathroom is clean and we have food to eat, a little clutter in other rooms is easily forgotten!

As I write about the "Martha" preparations (I would have probably been in the kitchen with her), I pause to reflect on the "Mary" preparations--she who had the best part.  I mentioned that I get a little nutty when I'm hosting events.  So, what should I do when that anxious, nutty feeling tugs at my mind and heart?  Pray, of course.  What for? God's will, of course.  How will I know what that is?   By listening with my heart.

I still need to do things to get ready, but the approach should be pure joy.  I don't "have to make cookies." I'm baking because we will be celebrating this weekend--my son will be Confirmed and we'll have a mini family reunion!  We will be part of a larger gathering of friends whose children are also being Confirmed.  We are gathering in love and prayer to celebrate the gifts of the Holy Spirit and His Grace in our children's lives.  Therefore, the work of my hands will be a joy.  The focus for my tasks must be the why and the who--not the quantity of tasks checked off my list.  If I approach the next few days with love, asking God to help me use the Gifts of the Holy Spirit that I received at my own Confirmation, then the things that really need doing will get done.

Most importantly, reevaluating my expectations to reflect God's will in my life instead of fostering my pride will help my whole family "to choose the best part."

Maybe I Have A.D.D.

A year or two ago, I called my mom to ask her if she thought I had A.D.D.  She laughed at me and said, "No."  She thinks I just have too many things going on--four children, two cats, husband, job, garden, etc.  However, I get the impression that her idea of Attention Deficit Disorder includes the Hyperactive trait.  I may not be a severe case, but I am very easily distracted and have a hard time keeping my attention focused on brain work, like grading papers.  I tell everyone I love my job, and it's true; however, grading essays makes me sleepy.  Physical work is a different story.  I could pull weeds or cook for 8 hours straight as long as I had water and snacks to keep my energy up, but give me a batch of essays to grade and it's like a sleeping pill! The papers are good papers--quite interesting, actually. The problem is me.   


I need projects to keep me motivated.  If I don't have a project, I seem to flounder.  Last year I painted the kitchen cabinets.  I was motivated and driven to complete the project.  I had something physical to show for it when I was done.  For some reason, paid mental work doesn't motivate me to keep working with the same gusto.


I have had more alone hours than usual this week because the kids are at a summer day program at the Church from 9-2.  My plan was to get caught up with grading and prepare for my fall course.  I have done a good bit of grading, but I'm still not caught up.  I have communicated with the bookstore and the book rep. about the text I plan to use this fall, but I haven't written assignments or read the text.  I have done things that were part of the plan for the week, but not as much as I'd hoped to have done by today.  The quiet house mainly reminded me how easily I am distracted.  When I started reading an essay, it would make me think of something else, so I'd do a quick search on that topic.  That's the problem.  I think about too many things, and Google is always ready to help.  


So far today, I've done the following: dropped the kids off at the church, baked a chocolate zucchini cake, went to Mass, baked bread (three part process from scratch), washed a load of laundry, hung it outside to dry,  read some job postings, started a batch of yogurt, washed the dishes, folded and put the laundry away, called the orthodontist, frosted the cake, graded 4 or 5 essays, talked to the bookstore, checked email, and ate lunch plus two handfuls of chocolate chips (because they're good for me!), then met the kids at our friends' house and brought their suits so they could swim.  We got home about 4:15.  I feel like I've accomplished nothing today because I still have 11 essays to grade.  What's the answer?  I know I did a lot today, but those essays are hanging over my neck like the blade of the guillotine.    And now I'm writing a blog post....    


I don't want to be sarcastic or crabby or whiny.  I just want to be done with those essays--but I need to go for a 5-mile run because it's on the training schedule! Maybe after the run and dinner and a nice iced coffee this evening, I will have the sweet clarity and focus to get the grading done so tomorrow can be a day of planning for the fall course.