Challenges in the New Year

For me, every week is like a new year. I'm always thinking about how to improve myself and my home. It's honestly a bit of an obsession. Lately, I've been reading lots of "How to Get Organized" books. I take them with me to read while waiting for appointments and joke about how I keep reading these books, but I am still not organized. One piece of advice in the latest book was to stick with a project until its completion. As I look at my very-close-to-clean desk, I wonder why I quit before I finished. In five minutes, the job that has been looming for the past month could finally be crossed off the to-do list. Two more piles, and done, Instead, I have been reading blogs about New Year's challenges, and now I'm writing my own post.

Two challenges are on my radar: The Frual Fresh Start Challenge at SixFiguresUnder.com and the Clean Cuisine 8-Week Challenge. Financial and physical fitness are both very important to me.

All of the challenges have one theme in common, goal setting. I'm very good at dreaming up how I'd like things to look or feel or be. However, I am not quite as good at setting attainable goals with benchmarks to keep me on target for success.

I wrote some goals in a notebook today. The notebook has a page in it with my "five-year goals" from 2009. My goals were lofty and unattained--but inspiring all the same. This time, I'm starting with a six-month goal in response to Stephanie's suggestion for Day 1.  In terms of the financial goals, one is to save for a trip in June to visit my grandma. Another is to pay off a student loan this year. My fitness and health goals are to exercise a minimum of four times per week with a specific focus on strength training and flexibility to alleviate knee pain. Once I've met that goal, I can begin training for a spring or fall half marathon (a distance I claimed to be done running, but I think I need to do just one more!).

All of my current goals are realistic, attainable, and measurable, essential characteristics of worthwhile goals.

I need to start supper in about 10 minutes. That means I have plenty of time to finish cleaning my desk.

What are your goals for the New Year? I'd love to hear from you!

31 Days to Improve My Domestic Church

I predicted (self-fulfilling negative prophecy?) on November 1 that in spite of my desire to write a novel in November that it would probably not happen.

I did write for a few days. I'm actually kind of excited about the story. Somehow, though November wouldn't let me win.

I'm not discouraged. I discovered other things during November. I read a book about laziness being a myth which highlighted methods for helping different types of learners. I'm homeschooling my two youngest sons, and their learning styles are extremely different from one another. Likewise, I have my own struggles with staying on task and finishing projects (as noted above!). This book helped me understand us all a little better. I need to find ways to capitalize on our strengths and use different tools to keep us on task than I needed for my older children.

In November, I also came to terms with other things about my work and my home management. I cannot do everything, but with a change in my approach and attitude, I can accomplish much more than I have recently.

What does December hold for us? With the beginning of Advent, we are shifting gears to "Prepare the Way of the Lord." We are at the beginning of a new liturgical year. I plan to make my New Year's Resolutions now instead of in January.

In what became my planning month of November, I researched blogs and books about organization and time management. I often think, "If only I can get things in order, everything else will be easier. Living Well Spending Less features a "31 Days" category for a month of changes--reducing clutter, stress, and spending. Since December has 31 days, it seems like an invitation to reduce stress and make things less scattered in my domestic church.

Today, December 1, I inventoried my pantry/freezer inventory and prepared a two-week menu plan with what's on-hand. I won't need much from the grocery store to get us through the next two weeks. Just about every organizing blog will tell you that if you know what's for dinner, everything else about the day is easier. In the past, I've planned a month at a time. Grocery shopping and meal prep were never a problem. Somehow, though, I got out of the habit, and things fell apart over the past year.

With meal-planning under control, I can focus on other things, like teaching, grading papers, and most importantly, celebrating Advent in a peaceful, prayerful manner.

Tomorrow will be Day 2. The focus will be time management, making intentional decisions about how to spend the minutes and hours God grants us, rather than floating aimlessly through the day. I'm guessing the task will be a challenge that won't be accomplished on the first try, particularly with my A.D.D. personality.

Heavenly Father, 

You have given us the gift of time. I struggle to make good use of that gift each day. Help me this Advent Season to more fully appreciate the minutes and hours you have given me, and to use my time to better serve you.

Your Son, Jesus Christ, came as a little child to be the Savior of the World. Help me to also see Jesus in the children you have entrusted to my care. 

Amen.

Once Upon a Time, A Writer Tried Again and Again, but Got Distracted

Today is November 1, 2014. For some, it's the day after Halloween--a time for sugar overload. For others, it's All Saints' Day--a time to remember the saints who've gone to their eternal reward. They lived their lives in service of the Lord, and they get to spend eternity with Him. Tomorrow, November 2, is All Souls' Day. On this day, we remember all the faithful who have died (especially in the past 12 months), but who may be spending some time in Purgatory to be made pure before entering into the presence of the Almighty God.  Finally, on a heavier, lighter note, it's the beginning of another National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Heavier and lighter? Yes. "Winning" NaNoWriMo has been a goal of mine for about 7 years now. However, I've never stuck with it for the whole month of November (heavy: I failed). I've never "won" the challenge of writing 50,000 words over the course of the month of November. NaNoWriMo should be fun (light: do something for the fun and challenge of it), and if I don't win, it's not of much consequence to my time in eternity. What will this November hold for me?

During my prayers this morning, I reflected on the past month. October was a little bumpy for me this year. Car and appliance repairs, school work not getting done, a mini bout with depression, three family medical emergencies in one week (none life-threatening), and other little stressors. I'm happy for a new month, even though November generally brings its own yuck with the time change and sundown coming before the evening rush hour (sunset tomorrow is 4:42, and it's going to get earlier and earlier until the Winter Solstice). For anyone who suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, this month can be challenging, to put it gently.

November. Why should November be any different than October was? Why would this November be any different. I want to tell you, but if I give my idea today and don't follow through, I'll feel the fool, again. And it's likely that I won't follow through. But, some things are different this year. I didn't decide whether or not to compete in NaNoWriMo this year until this morning. Other years, I planned on it throughout October. And I'm not going to follow the NaNoWriMo advice to tell everyone I'm writing a novel until I make it through November 12. Okay, so I just lied there since I told anyone who's reading this post. But I'm not telling you the genre or the focus. Let's just say, I think it could be fun, and it might just help with my A.D.D., A.D.H.D, or whatever it is.

The first reading this morning for All Saints' Day was from Revelation. The selection concluded with these words:

Then one of the elders spoke up and said to me, "Who are these wearing white robes, and where did they come from? I said to him, "My lord, you are the one who knows." He said to me, "These are the ones who have survived the time of great distress; they have washed their robes and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb." Rev: 7:13-14

The words "survived the time of great distress" spoke to my heart. Like Martha, "I'm worried and anxious over many things." I want to fix things. I want to help people. However, some days, I can't even clear out the junk e-mail from my inbox. I read lots of self-help books and blogs. I know what I need to do, but for some reason I just cannot execute those tasks. Why? I have blamed A.D.D., and clearly I'm not alone because the blog post where I questioned my own self-diagnosis gets the most hits on this blog. Every new week, month, season, year, I get excited and hopeful for a significant change where I follow the health, finance, and career advice that will make me successful. Alas, my enthusiasm dims by Thursday, by the 8th of the month, or by February. I realize that if I am to do anything worthwhile, I must wash my robes in the Blood of the Lamb. Christ must be at the center.

Heavenly Father,

Help me to do your will this day. Lead me, through your Holy Word, and help me follow your plan for me. Keep me safe from all distress. Guide me so that I may help guide those entrusted to my care. 

Amen.

Minimalist, I Am Not

Today, June 30, was the final day of my participation in the Minimalism Game with a group of friends. I have posted some of my daily decluttering tallies in this blog: here, here, here...and here. I have pondered whether decluttering would help my un-diagnosed ADD and whether the accountability in the game would help me maintain focus. The answer to both of those questions is "sort of." 

Pride is a useful tool. When other members of the group would send the group emails with their daily tallies, I couldn't let them beat me. I'm not always a "winner," but I am fairly competitive. My pride motivated me to keep purging junk, even though I wasn't highly motivated personally to get rid of things on certain days. I knew that the other members of the group would notice if I didn't send a message with my purge list, so the accountability kept me going to the end of the game.

Has the decluttering helped my focus? I would say, not yet. We have purged a lot, but several areas need more concentrated purging, then organizing before I can be in the spaces without being regularly distracted. Most importantly, the office needs an overhaul. However, some of the spaces that were particularly distracting to me are much better today than they were May 31.

Several members of my household have contributed to the item count. My daughter cleaned out the clothes that she doesn't wear and the socks with holes for a 20-something count. Because she cleaned out her dresser, I was able to repair a broken drawer, and her "clothes pile" is no longer on top of the dresser. The clothes are mostly put away, and I can now stand in her doorway and talk to her without feeling anxious at the sight of the clutter.

The boys helped my husband with a garage clean-up that tallied to the full count for days 28 and 29. When I drove the van into the garage today, I noticed that it felt much roomier. Organizing and painting the garage is the family project for the rest of this summer, so the Minimalism Game was a great first step to getting that project underway.

I was struggling today to finish the game. I had a bit of a headache and thought about not bothering with the final day. The pride thing started gnawing at me around 9 p.m.  I was sitting here wondering what I would do for the final 27 since I had the first 3 accounted for.  I kept looking at the shelves in the office closet, knowing that I probably could have gotten quite a few days’ worth out of there, but I hesitated to tackle the space for some reason. A few moments ago, my gaze fell upon a green basket. I remembered that I used to store cassette tapes in that basket. On top of the cassettes were some small photo albums. My daughter and I looked at baby pictures of her and the two older boys for a few minutes, then I dug in to find the cassettes!

Day 30

1.  Pair of my husband's old running shoes

2. A pair of holey, not holy, underwear.

3. Dried out glue stick

4-30! Mix tapes and other 1980s cassettes.

Done!!

For July, I will be working on the garage project and my Camp NaNoWriMo novel, but I may try a 31-day Minimalism Challenge for August with a special focus on the office and kitchen. Then, I'll let you know if my focus improves.

I have learned from this game that I am not a minimalist, and I probably never will be. However, we have recognized as a family that we have held on to a lot of junk that we really do not need. Clearing out the junk makes it easier to find what we do need and to use the useful things we'd forgotten because they were hidden in the clutter. 

Maintaining Focus through a Game

With all the things I'm getting rid of, I would expect the house to feel empty! Of course, lots of the items are small enough to fit in my hand, so the impact is gradual. Even so, this minimalism game is motivating me to keep purging junk, which will make it easier to find the things we need and keep the house clean.

My husband and I stood together in the garage the other day and considered some purging that we'll be doing in there this weekend. Days 21 and 22 should be a cinch since I'll have a team working with me! My husband will make sure that all of the children pitch in for the garage project!. Once the garage is purged and reorganized (and the ceiling and one wall painted), it will make getting in and out of the vehicle more comfortable and will make the tools, bicycles, and lawn mower much more accessible. In addition, it will look nicer and will be a welcoming place to drive into when I come home.

So, here are my decluttering accounts for days 13 to 17.

Day 13:

(1-12, trash!)

1-10 Pile of threadbare, holey cloth napkins that actually were in the washing machine. As I was moving things to the dryer, I thought, "Why are we keeping these? I have new ones with no holes!"

11-12 Facecloths that were threadbare, too.

13 A skort that I never wear (going to a friend)

Day 14:

(1-9 are in a bag to donate to Goodwill)

1-3 Skirts

4-6 Dresses

7-9 Sweaters

10-14 plant trays (3) and a bunch of empty "six packs" from plants, recycled

Day 15

1-3. Two water bottles and a belt for running--given to a friend who will use them!

4. Work ID from former employer, 2005

5. Refrigerator magnet

6. "Hallmark" book (basically an extended greeting card) 

7-9. Cubic zirconia necklace and two pairs of earrings 

10-15. Other costume jewelry (pin and several pairs of earrings).

Day 16

1-16 Medicine cabinet and linen closet purge of "lotions and potions"!  Samples of hair product that I'll never use, old nail polish (some that my daughter contributed to the cause!), multiple packets of mineral oil and a packet of oatmeal bath stuff from the 1990s.

Day 17

1-3 rags that have seen better days

4-7 several of my youngest son's 3rd grade workbooks

8-12 more HBA stuff

13 Dried up Mod Podge

14-17 T-shirts of mine that were so old, floppy, and ugly that I wouldn't even wear them to garden or paint.

Almost everything I've purged the last few days is trash that I've been ignoring. The game is making it so much easier to toss, toss, toss! 

As I write, I'm noticing that my office holds many items that we never use and that my tiny desk is a big mess. The office will be my decluttering focus for the next few days. Purging and then organizing this space is essential if I'm going to conquer my distracted nature when I am working!

In addition to being a homeschooling mom and a blogger, I teach a college composition class and am a freelance writer. I've written articles mostly for Catholic websites, but my personal goal is to write a novel. In fact, I hope to write many novels, but the trick is to finally finish one! I have started and quit NaNoWriMo several times (November is always too busy for me), so I'm hoping to finally write my first complete novel during Camp NaNoWriMo this July. 

Who knows, the Minimalism Game may just inspire the focus I need to stick with the writing project for the entire month!

Will Decluttering Help My ADD?

What makes me most distracted? Hmm--that's a tough one. I would say weeds and junk. If I walk outside between May and October, I will often lose track of my original mission and begin pulling weeds. If I walk into another room in the house to get something, I often forget my mission as I notice clutter along the way. I'm hoping that my participation in a decluttering mission for June will help me maintain focus as I move from one room to the next in my daily chores.

Today is Day 12 of the Minimalism Game. I had out of town company for days 8-11, so I did a couple days ahead of time, and I've caught up with the rest today. Over the past few months, my children have been on a chore rotation where the responsibility of washing and drying dishes and emptying the dishwasher is on a weekly rotation. The chores have gotten done consistently on most days. I'm always delighted to walk into the kitchen before bed and see that all the dishes have been washed, dried, and put away. Unfortunately, like a "clean" bedroom with a messy closet and a pile of stuff under the bed, my kitchen has become cluttered behind closed doors and drawers.

From time to time, I, as the mother and homemaker, must step in and correct the mess. I could "make them do it." I've taught them all many times to stack bowls of the same shape together and to corral the lids in a zipper bag to keep the storage container cabinet neat. In fact, I probably will recruit one of them to fix that particular mess. But the drawers and pantry were full of little bits of stuff that could easily be recycled or thrown away, ultimately making the clean-up process easier since the closets and drawers could more comfortably hold the items that really belong there in an orderly fashion. In any case, the decision of what to keep or toss is up to me.

With that goal in mind, I purged the following items.

Day 10:

I recycled 10 old gardening magazines. I did get distracted and look through all of them one last time. However, I discovered that radish seed pods can be used in stir fries, so it was worth the look (I have several radishes that have gone to flower this week).

Day 11:

1. Cat medication (over 4 years old)
2. Almost empty bottle of calcium with a "best used by date" of October 2010
3. Bottle of blackstrap molasses. Yes, it's a good source of iron. But it's gross.
4. Nearly empty can of Clorox Disinfecting Spray (I don't use many chemicals in the house anymore, so it has been in the closet for years!)
5. Dried out floral foam
6. Container of mini Christmas cookie cutters--used once, 6 years ago.
7. Lint roller handle for which I can no longer find refills
8. Bottle of eye medicine from 2011
9. Old shoe box that had corralled vinegar and other bottles in the pantry. Replaced with nice round tray that will function as a Lazy Susan.
10 & 11 Several Walgreens prescription instructions and an empty cough medicine bottle

Day 12

1. Broken plastic fork
2. Instructions for a salad spinner
3. Instructions for a can opener
4. Bent metal fork someone found in the yard, which was washed and put on the side in the silverware drawer years ago. Nobody has ever used it.
5. Broken wax crayon for use with Easter egg coloring
6-10 Medicine cups and spoons with calibration that is worn and hard to read
11 & 12 plastic baby spoon and fork set with teeth marks

All items except the cookie cutters went to the recycling or trash. I will give the cookie cutters to a friend or donate them to Goodwill since they are like new. As I have been decluttering for nearly two weeks, I am delighted when I open and close a drawer without a struggle. I feel more peaceful when things are orderly. And, if things are orderly, I can more easily maintain focus.

The kitchen is in much better shape now, and I have a better idea of what is on hand in the pantry and refrigerator. My next step is to make a menu and grocery list. Since the clutter is gone, I should be able to sit in the kitchen and get the lists done without distractions.

Do you struggle with ADD? Is your house cluttered? Maybe a month of the Minimalism Game will help you cut the clutter and establish more focus. If you try it, let me know how it goes!

Disclaimer: I am not trained as a doctor or psychologist, so I don't have professional qualifications to help you with ADD or ADHD. I'm simply a person who is easily distracted and is happy to share my experiences on things I've tried that help me to maintain focus.

Happy New Year, Happy Advent!

First of the month.  Mondays.  New school years.  New liturgical years.  All of these "beginnings" give me hope to improve upon the way I'm living.  But here it is, Wednesday morning of the first week of Advent, and I'm just getting around to reflecting upon the "Happy New Year!" greeting I offered on Thanksgiving (my birthday was last week, too, so it really is my new year right now).

When I log into this blog, I usually look to see how many viewers have visited the site and which post brought them here.  The latest view was "Struggling to Keep Your Resolutions" which was a link to another blogger's post.  My most popular title is "Maybe I Have ADD," followed by "Girls and ADHD or ADD" and "Decluttering My Domestic Church."  Clearly, I am attracting readers who are like me--distracted and seeking order.  Chances are, you may feel like you are chasing your tail and not accomplishing anything.  A little reflection will probably indicate that you accomplish much more than you think you do, but you need to put it in perspective.

Yesterday, I woke up feeling very optimistic.  I had finished a big grading project for my "paying job" on Monday afternoon (I teach English part-time at a local college) and hoped to tackle my household to-do list.  When I looked at my white board in the afternoon to check items off the to-do list, I realized that I had completed lots of "invisible" tasks that weren't on the written to-do list.  I washed my bedding, dusted all the ceiling fans in the house, watered the plants, made a couple of important phone calls, printed paperwork for my eldest's college application process, finished some homeschool lessons with the boys, reduced the giant pile of Black Friday ads and other clutter on the kitchen counter, and put away the Thanksgiving decorations (all four of them). My desk was still cluttered. The carpet was still not vacuumed.  Dead plants were still residing in the front garden. Dinner was still not planned. Worst of all, we hadn't read the saint of the day on the feast of St. Francis Xavier. What kind of Catholic homeschooling mom ignores the feast of St. Francis Xavier?  I had a plan, but somehow forgot about it while I watered the plants 6 hours earlier and let the boys sleep late. I bounced from task to task without a clear focus, and several priorities were neglected. It would be dark in less than an hour, so outside work was probably not going to happen.

The children heartily suggested I go clothing shopping with my daughter and then buy pizza for dinner.  The thought was tempting, but I was in frumpy gardening clothes because I had intended to work outside and in the garage since the weather was mild.  A trip to the mall was out of the question, and ordering pizza was not in the budget or plan.

The plan!  I remembered that I had a plan.  I had made a menu for November and December with my friend a few weeks ago. Life is much easier with a menu. I have stuck to the menu for a few weeks, and my days have gone smoothly.  The grading project had consumed four straight days, though, and I hadn't looked at the December meal plan when I went to the store last week. For Tuesday, chicken stir fry was on the menu.  Unfortunately, I didn't have chicken or stir-fry vegetables in the house. As I pondered my options, a child came to me asking for video game time.  Distracted Mama often says, "Sure, you're done with school, go ahead." Then, once they are playing, I notice their chores haven't been done.  I had a moment of clarity and remembered the leaves and clean-up that needed to happen in the garden (items on the written to-do list) and said, "First, I need help with the yard." He and his brother were willing to work for their screen time, so I showed them the plants that should be pulled out before the ground freezes.  After they went off to their task, I took care of emptying three cans of kitchen scraps into the compost and sorted through the remaining tomato harvest.  I had picked all of the green tomatoes in October, and they have been ripening on a table in the garage.  A few were rotten, but I found about 12 nicely ripened tomatoes, and from there developed my plan for dinner.

The happy sunflower in July.  Yesterday, it was brown and the seeds
had been consumed long ago by the birds.

The boys finished their task, and I granted permission for some screen time. I took the tomatoes to the kitchen, found the other ingredients, and took a look out the window.  I had just enough daylight to take care of the rest of the dead plants in the front garden that were too big for the boys.  Last summer, I planted vegetables in the front yard.  Giant "gone to seed" broccoli and dead sunflowers have adorned the front lawn for a couple months, making me cringe every time I see them.  I dragged the wheelbarrow to the front yard, yanked the overgrown beasts from the earth, piled them in the wheelbarrow and pushed them to their resting place in a new compost heap.  It took 15-30 minutes to change the appearance of my front lawn from unkempt to tidy (well, tidier--the rest of the leaves are still there).  I still had time to make dinner before my husband got home from work.

How I made an easy, but kinda fancy-sounding dinner:
Roasted Tomatoes with Salmon and Orzo
Ingredients:
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 med. red onion, coarsely chopped
12 ripe tomatoes, quartered
6 cremini mushrooms, thickly sliced
One can Wild Salmon
1/2-3/4 cup Parmesan Cheese
2 Frozen pesto cubes (2-4 T prepared pesto)
16 oz. Orzo pasta

First, I drizzled EVOO in a casserole dish and preheated the oven to 400.  To the casserole, I added a coarsely chopped red onion, quartered tomatoes, 6 cremini mushrooms, two "pesto cubes" from the freezer, and a can of wild-caught salmon.  The casserole went into the oven, and then I started water for the pasta.  After about 15 minutes, I gave the veggies and salmon a stir and realized the oven needed to be hotter, so I set it to 450.  When the orzo was cooked, the veggie mixture was fragrant and bubbling nicely.  I stirred the two together and added about a half cup of Parmesan cheese.  It was creamy, yummy, deliciousness!

Dinner was ready and waiting when my husband arrived!  The children and I got everything on the table, and my oldest lit the first Advent candle.  I sang "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" (while the children groaned) and we waited for my husband to join us at the table.

After dinner, my husband and I prayed the rosary with the child who had requested video game time earlier.  While we prayed, I reflected on the day and on my family and our many blessings.  I realized that the day wasn't perfect and that the yard work could have gotten done completely, leaves and all, if we'd gone out right after lunch.  The way it turned out, though, was much more peaceful and really was good enough for the day.  I wasn't burdened with the work, and neither was anyone else.

When the younger boys went to bed, I took another look at the to-do list and realized there were two important computer items I could complete and erase before bed.

Several times throughout the day I had contemplated simply taking a nap or wasting time on Facebook (okay, I did do that), but the New Year's feeling helped motivate me to finish lots of little things.

This morning, I again woke feeling very optimistic.  I didn't think I had accomplished much yesterday, but as I wrote this post (at my cluttered desk), I realized this New Year is off to a good start.  Yes, there will be days where I don't "accomplish anything" and probably give in and buy take-out pizza. Yes, I am still easily distracted. However, priorities, menus, and a white board next to my desk all help.  And remembering it's Advent and new liturgical year give me hope.  Happy New Year, everyone.

I welcome comments to this blog! What are you doing to celebrate the "New Year"?  How does celebrating Advent help you to focus on Christ all around you?  If you struggle with ADD/ADHD or wonder if you have it, what do you do to stay on task?

Another Family's Struggle with ADHD

I just read an article by Karee Santo on CatholicLane.com that many of my readers will appreciate: Finally Finding Focus: Our ADHD Story.  Karee begins, "I didn’t use to believe in medication for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).  Truth be told, I didn’t used to believe in ADHD at all."  Sounds familiar!  

Karee makes an important point about recognizing her daughter's needs as an individual and advocating for her daughter with both the school and the doctors to get the medication she needed.  

Impetuous Me

Sometimes my filter falls off and I blurt out comments at the most inopportune moments.  It used to happen a lot more frequently, but God in His Mercy has gifted me with Wisdom and Self Control which usually keeps me in check.  Once in a while, though, I still taste that shoe leather. That's the problem with words.  Once they're out, they can't come back in and be forgotten. Those words must be owned, and sometimes eaten.

Yesterday I said, "You changed it!" And she had.  But she didn't realize it until I blurted.  I wasn't saying anything bad or mean, but the blurt sounded almost accusatory.  My impetuous nature, in the excitement of noticing the changed dance step, lead me to an exclamation in the wrong tone of voice in the middle of the dance.  I had hoped she would change it, and had planned to ask her to change it just the way she had.  But I certainly could have waited until the music stopped to calmly mention the change.  I don't think my comment was taken as an offense, but it was jarring and certainly not at the right moment. I quickly apologized (when the music stopped) because I hadn't intended to be disruptive.

I received a different gift in that moment--Humility.  He gives me that one a lot.

Dear Lord, 
Thank you for the gifts you so lavishly pour forth on your children.  Help me to use those gifts to honor you in my brothers and sisters.  Thank you for the nature you've given me that makes me impetuous at times.  Help me to keep it in check when it could hurt, offend, or annoy others.  I love you Lord!
Amen.

Facebook Fast

For the last two years, several of my Facebook friends have "given up" Facebook for Lent.  Some did the whole stretch from Ash Wednesday until Holy Saturday, coming back to say "Happy Easter!"  Others checked in on Sundays throughout Lent, which are not counted in the 40 Days.

Recently, I've noticed that completing my work has been very difficult.  As I've mentioned on this blog before, I'm easily distracted.  Since I teach distance education English classes, my work is all online.  I connect to my students through Blackboard and grade their papers on the computer.  When I open my internet browser, Facebook was not a home page for me, but it was a button on my browser bookmark bar that always showed at the top of the screen, calling me to check in no fewer than 10 times a day.

What could be so urgent?  I would scroll through the cute pictures, follow links to interesting articles, keep abreast of what was happening in my friends lives, all the while neglecting my work.  If my kids came down the hall, I'd feel like I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.  I wasn't doing anything wrong but I still felt guilty.  The minutes and hours I could be spending on grading papers, cleaning my house, and most importantly, reading to and doing school with my children were being frittered away on Facebook.  The first step to recovery in any addiction program is for the addict to admit she has a problem.  However, we know that ultimately any exposure to the object of the addiction is detrimental.  I clearly have a Facebook problem. The question, though, is whether it's an addiction.

I've decided to refrain from Facebook for all of Lent, even Sundays.  I love the connectedness Facebook provides.  The quick delivery of information about events and the needs of my friends is of clear value.  However, unplugging and focusing on the people in my life seems to be where the Lord is calling me this Lent.  I pray that this time away will give me perspective and better control of my internet usage.  Information, like every tool, is a gift from God. Our usage of those gifts must be in conformity with God's will for us, which will always be accompanied by peace.  If Facebook makes you look over your shoulder like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar, clearly peace is not with your use of the gift.

Dear Lord, 

Please grant me the gift of Wisdom to recognize your will for me this Lent.  

Amen.

Spring Cleaning in January

Wow do we have a lot of stuff!  My family has a small 3 bedroom ranch with a partially-finished basement which I lovingly refer to as the boys' dormitory.  My daughter and I decided recently to swap her bedroom with the home office, which had been her bedroom a few years ago.  She mentioned that she wanted her room to be green (the color she had picked when her room was in the current office space) instead of light purple.  I said, "Maybe we can paint this summer--or maybe you can just have the green room back."  I thought moving furniture would be easier than painting, and we wouldn't need to wait for warm weather to open the windows.  She loved the idea and began "cleaning" to prepare for the move.

If you read my article "Bouquets of Love" you know a little bit about my daughter.  She saves lots of useful things and is very crafty and artistic.  My husband and I share the home office.  I have a desk that's rather tiny--my choice in the hopes of minimizing the likelihood that it will be covered in stuff.  I used to have a large L-shaped desk which mostly collected stuff and wasn't terribly useful.  The new desk has just one drawer and a narrow cabinet that holds binders and answer keys for our homeschool.  Even though it's tiny, it still holds plenty of useful things.  My husband has a large desk with a hutch that holds a shelf full of books and many useful things.  In the office, we also had a bookshelf and a closet with shelves full of many useful things.  You are no doubt recognizing the trend here. The stuff would need to be moved (or permanently re-moved). Needless to say, swapping the two rooms was probably just as time consuming as painting would have been.

Mike was heading to Florida for a conference, so Elizabeth and I decided to swap closets and bookshelves while he was gone.  I thought it would be a rather simple process--pull the books, move them to the other room.  Every stack I moved seemed to multiply.  Old magazines, homeschool textbooks, readers from the first composition class I taught in 1996, lots of holy cards and greeting cards from religious orders, knickknacks, tchotchkes, trinkets (yes, those last three are redundant--as was much of the clutter).  We filled trash bags and recycling bins and donation boxes.  After many hours, the closet and bookshelf transition was complete.

Initially, I thought that we would just move the big stuff when Mike got home...until the next morning.  Elizabeth's things were in the office.  My things were in her bedroom closet. Annoying? Yes. We decided the inconvenience was unnecessary and that we should move the furniture immediately.  Did you ever notice that on remodeling and home improvement shows, they are able to move everything in an hour?  We did not have the magic of television to assist us.  We also had no men.  I don't care what the ultra-feminists say.  I like having men in my life, and I like when they pick up heavy things that are simply too cumbersome for me to move on my own or with my petite 13-year-old daughter.  Anyway, I kept looking at my husband's big desk and tried to recall how he and his friend maneuvered it into the office two or three years ago.  Before the desk could be moved, it had to be cleared and emptied.  All of the useful things were moved to my bedroom.  If the job wasn't completed that day, I'd have to sleep on the couch.

My sewing machine cabinet and the office chairs were all moved into my bedroom and the area rug was moved into the mudroom.  Once the desk was clear, I measured it a few more times (I'd already measured it and the doorway five times, hoping the results would change.  Desk: Depth: 30.5, Height 28 (without the hutch), Length: 59.5.  Doorway: 29.5, if door is removed.  Hmmm.  I honestly didn't remember the guys removing the hutch, but I have no clue how else they could have made it through the doorway.  I imagined myself as a master Tetris-player, turning the L-shaped chunkiness in a skilled angle to slip gingerly through the door across the narrow hallway to the other room.  Hmmmm.  13-year-old daughter attempted to help me lift the desk to put it on its end.  Fail.  11-year-old son attempted to help me remove the hutch.  We started to get it, but I noticed lots of nails and thought "They didn't take all those nails out--there must be another way."  We stopped and I measured again.  Feeling somewhat defeated, I told Elizabeth we needed her older brother.  She looked at the clock and said, "What time does he come home?"  It would still be several hours.  We continued cleaning the floors and purging junk.  Unfortunately, that desk had to move before we could move any of the other furniture between the two rooms.

15-year-old strong boy finally came home from school and laughed at me.  Not mean-spiritedly.  He simply said "not happening," when I told him we should be able to somehow get the desk through the door.  I measured again said that the height of the desk would fit through the doorway.  He responded, "take off the top thing and we'll move it." That was my original plan, but it seemed too involved when we tried earlier. I checked the nails again and realized they popped out easily and a couple turns of locking screws released the hutch.  Man-child easily helped me lift the desk so we could turn it and slip it ever-so-carefully through the doorway. Initially, we attempted to turn the desk to go to the other doorway.  However, the skinny hallway would have none of that nonsense.Then, my Tetris skills came in handy. I paused and pondered, trapped at the end of the hallway with everyone else on the other side of the chunky desk. We did not need to turn the desk.  It was already facing the right direction to go through the other doorway.  Move the rectangle out, over, down, and into the open space.  Success!  

With the desk finally in place, the rest of the move only took 3 or 4 more hours, which included reassembling two computers and replacing all of the useful things on and in the desks.  I slept in my bed.

My first morning with the new space proved to be productive and peaceful.  Elizabeth seems to love her new space as well.  With clean, organized rooms, we were both better able to focus on our work.  Simply having a tidy space made me less distracted throughout the day.  And the biggest bonus--my desk is next to a window that overlooks the garden, so when I'm writing I can look out at nature.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for your bounteous gifts.  Help us to use those gifts for your greater glory.  Thank you for men and boys, for their strong arms and tender hearts.  Teach them to love as you love. Thank you for girls and women with creative minds and big ideas.  Help them to use their talents to honor you.

Amen.

Girls and ADHD or ADD

This article  on www.lifescript.com reiterates what I have read in other places about ADHD.  Girls are often not diagnosed with ADHD because their behaviors are different from boys with ADHD.

Last summer I wrote Maybe I Have A.D.D. and have gotten more hits on that post than any other on my blog.  I'm clearly not alone!  Parenting Advice for Girls with ADHD focuses on school children, but we can certainly apply these ideas in the grown-up world.  The point that spoke most directly to me was that girls with ADHD are often chatty rather than unruly and bouncing around.  Guilty!  All I wanted to do in school was talk to my friends.  My mind was like a ball in pinball machine, bouncing all over during class.  My thoughts jumped from bumper to bumper, then the ball would fall in a hole if the teacher called my name.

Somehow I was able to earn solid grades throughout my education in spite of not paying close attention during many lectures.  God had a plan for me--my maiden name began with "B" and I was younger and shorter than most of my peers.  In classes with assigned seating by name or height, I often sat close to the front of the room.  I vividly remember the classes where I sat in the back, not for their academic content but for the conversations with my peers.  In college, I instinctively recognized that I must sit in the front of the room, and my focus improved tremendously.

As I continue to homeschool my three youngest children, knowing that two of them will likely be heading to school next fall, I take from this article some excellent advice and suggestions to prepare them now for the educational challenges that will face them in a room full of new people and distractions in September.  Likewise, I recognize that mild cases of ADHD can be kept in check with environmental changes and awareness.

Natural "Spark" to Treat ADD and Other Conditions

Last night I finished reading Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by John J. Ratey, M.D (2008).  My family physician recommended the book at my annual checkup last month.  I told my doctor of my various discomforts and moodiness—I’m pretty healthy, but hadn’t been feeling 100%.  He didn’t offer pills or suggest a battery of tests.  He simply asked, “Do you exercise regularly?” I hung my head a bit and answered, “Well, I did.”  Notably, my checkup was about a month or so after I ran a half-marathon with my daughter, then abruptly stopped running or exercising.  I was full of excuses—It’s too dark when I want to run…My running shoes don’t feel right…I have too many papers to grade.  Along with the excuses came distractedness, crankiness, and an achy body.  In spite of my overall commitment to healthy living “through diet and exercise,” I didn’t readily recognize that the weeks of sedentary behavior made me feel terrible!

I tend to get the “season-change blues” in late October-early November every year.  The darkness overwhelms me.  The garden is put to bed, so I am less likely to go outdoors.  School is in full swing, and I have essays to grade. Consequently, late fall becomes my season to sit.  I blamed seasonal affective disorder for my woes, but opted to wait for the spring thaw rather than to be pro-active.

My doctor was very enthusiastic about Spark. He described how 1990-1999 was the Decade of the Brain and that research completed in that decade helped doctors to understand the brain and how to treat conditions related to brain function (like depression, A.D.D., Parkinson’s, and Alzheimers).  Ratey’s book takes that foundation and incorporates further research related to the connection of exercise to improvements in behavior, intelligence, mood, recall, and hormonal changes in women. The subtitle, Supercharge Your Mental Circuits to Beat Stress, Sharpen Your Thinking, Lift Your Mood, Boost Your Memory, and Much More, describes the book in a nutshell. 

Many of the readers of my blog seem to find Living the Sweet Catholic Life when searching “Maybe I Have A.D.D.” The chapter of Spark called “Attention Deficit: Running from Distraction” especially attracted my attention as I scanned the Contents. I long for order and schedules (which is common amongst those with A.D.H.D.) but I simultaneously resist such “rigid restrictions.”  My husband is regimented. He has trained for marathons and ultra-marathons while working full time and completing his MBA.  When he was in school, he scheduled his study times and wouldn’t let anything trivial disrupt his routine.  I wonder just how much running has helped his ability to focus and learn—he finished the MBA with a 4.0 GPA!

Though I admire my husband’s routines and dedication, I cannot seem to implement similar schedules for myself. We joke that I’m a free spirit (translate: bird attracted to shiny objects). When I grade papers, I’m lucky to make it through two essays before I search for something online—usually related to the paper, but sometimes not. I desire the results that can be achieved from schedules, but I can’t seem to make myself accountable. I’ve started three novels, two of which I desperately want to complete, but they sit in my Novel folder on the computer with just 20 pages each.  I know what needs to be done, and mostly I get the important stuff done on time.  However, I believe I’m capable of more.  Regular exercise just might be the answer I’m seeking.

When my daughter and I trained for the half-marathon, I made sure we kept to a running schedule.  The routine was good for both of us.  After the race, life was busy and we didn’t seem to have time to run.  In the weeks prior to my regularly scheduled physical everything seemed to change. My body hurt.  My PMS was worse than ever.  I cried for no reason.  When I described the symptoms to the doctor and he recommended exercise as the remedy, I took it seriously.  That evening, I made it back to my Irish dance class for the first time in over a month.  I told my family, “I have to go to dance tonight—doctor’s orders!”  I danced for two hours, and it felt so good to be back!  I made it for four consecutive weeks before the holiday break, and my blues seem to have melted away.  I have started running again, but not as regularly as before the race.  Just those two or three days of exercise each week have already improved my health. 

So, exercise is good medicine for me, but why did I review the book for my blog?  In part, because it’s exciting information! The phrase “something for everyone” comes to mind.  Do you have kids?  They will do better in school if they exercise daily, especially before they study. They will be healthier overall and have better behavior. Are you or someone you know and love reaching the golden years?  Regular exercise can tremendously improve the quality of life for seniors, helping their minds stay sharp and reducing the need for a cabinet full of prescription drugs.  Are you a woman?  Exercise helps women who are pregnant have healthier babies and reduces PMS and Menopausal discomforts.  ADHD?  Anxiety? Depression? Addiction?  All of these health problems can be treated safely and effectively with regular exercise.  And the side effects are a healthier brain and body, with reduced risks for heart disease and diabetes. 

Not convinced that exercise will make a difference for you?  Consider the following studies described in Spark.  First, the Naperville District 203 school students. The 19,000 students are some of the fittest and smartest students in the nation.  Exercise is central to the district’s success.  Next, a new mom experienced severe post-partum depression.  After meeting with Dr. Ratey, she and her husband went directly to purchase an elliptical machine during a Friday afternoon rainstorm.  Her husband wanted so much for her to feel better that he assembled the machine immediately.  She felt the physical burn from the workout and knew she was doing something good for her body.  He first noticed that she was finally sleeping soundly, which quickly alleviated the exhaustion and improved her mood.  Finally, and most profoundly, was a nun who had exercised her mind (along with the other sisters in her order) through “vocabulary quizzes, mental puzzles, and debates about public issues” (243).  Sister Bernadette died at age 85 of a heart attack.  Though she was mentally sharp until her death, a postmortem examination of her brain (which she had donated “to science as part of an ongoing study…by epidemiologist David Snowdon) indicated massive damage from Alzheimer’s disease.  The use it or lose it principal applies here.  Though the damage will still occur for those afflicted with Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s, physical and mental exercise, and especially social interaction, will keep us healthier than any pill created by modern science. 

God has given us the tools to care for our bodies and brains—exercise and interaction with people.  Our modern culture fosters a sedentary lifestyle and too much screen time.  I am inspired by Dr. Ratey’s book, and I hope to share the message that physical fitness is about more than “looking good” or “being thin.” Physical fitness strengthens our minds and bodies—improving our quality of life.

Note: Before beginning any exercise program always consult a physician.  Likewise, do not stop medications unless advised to do so by your doctor. 

A.D.D., A.D.O.S., or Life in the Internet Age?

When I started this little blog, I hoped it would motivate me to get my laundry room organized and eliminate clutter in my domestic church.  The thought of taking pictures of my newly organized space and sharing successes in the hopes of helping other distracted moms inspired me. We had succeeded in painting just one short wall and organizing a few sections of the laundry room when the temporary lull in our family schedule disappeared.  I haven't been able to finish anything else in that space since school started.

Last Friday, I finally moved the clutter out of the "family room" section of the basement and back into the laundry room since I know I won't be painting any other walls before Christmas.  Back to square one!  The section of the room that was destined to be a workout area is again full of boxes of clothing and art supplies that I haven't used in three years.

Which begs the question: Why can't I just finish the job?  My blog post that has gotten the most traffic is "Maybe I have A.D.D," so I recognize that many of you must have similar struggles.  Is it A.D.D. or something else? I know I have difficulty staying on task when I'm online.  If I am grading student essays, I am often curious about ideas in their papers which prompt me to do a "quick" search.  Next thing I know, I've checked two or three sites that are related to the essay.  Then I notice that I have received a new email and take a moment to read the message.  Next thing I know, I've spent 45 minutes to do a 15 minute task.

The problem isn't isolated to internet usage.  My parents and grandma came to visit for my son's confirmation this past weekend.  I was spinning in circles for days before they arrived.  My timer helped me stay focused enough to keep the laundry up-to-date.  However, everything else I did was interrupted by my own racing mind.  Shaking the rugs from the bathroom would remind me to scrub the trash baskets which in turn would remind me that the wall in the kitchen had cobwebs on it.  Meanwhile, I needed to make an urgent appointment at the pediatrician and buy groceries before taking one child to swimming and picking the other up from cross country.  Not to mention music lessons.  I chose to homeschool because we wanted to give our children a good, Catholic education, and because I wanted flexibility and family-control of our schedule. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to give someone else control of the schedule--someone who has a better sense of time and the ability to say no.

My guess is that a lot of my readers who are finding me through a search about A.D.D. are equally scattered and busy.  My friend told me about a "condition" called A.D.O.S.--Attention Deficit, Ooooooh Shiny! Those suffering A.D.O.S. are easily distracted by shiny objects or exciting things.  The exciting things are my shiny objects.  I often think I have time to do this little project or that fundraiser, and next thing I know I'm stressed out, behind on my work, and impatient.

Like I said, the children are involved in numerous activities which are all great for them.  But driving them here, there, and everywhere leads to chaos.  I long for simplicity, but thwart my own efforts by seeking out activities to fill the day.

Hurricane Sandy and the other two big storms are set to converge, which may lead to widespread power outages.  Last October, our area suffered a week-long power outage.  Other than being a bit chilly because our forced-air gas furnace relies on electricity, the week was great!  We read books, spent time together, and didn't have to go anywhere for days.  My A.D.D. or A.D.O.S. was gone for the week!  I had clarity and focus, and the house stayed pretty clean.  I honestly don't want the power to go out today, but I'm glad the outside activities are already cancelled. We'll "do school" this morning and maybe some baking as long as the power is on, and then just be together the rest of the day--sweetness !

Maybe I Have A.D.D.

A year or two ago, I called my mom to ask her if she thought I had A.D.D.  She laughed at me and said, "No."  She thinks I just have too many things going on--four children, two cats, husband, job, garden, etc.  However, I get the impression that her idea of Attention Deficit Disorder includes the Hyperactive trait.  I may not be a severe case, but I am very easily distracted and have a hard time keeping my attention focused on brain work, like grading papers.  I tell everyone I love my job, and it's true; however, grading essays makes me sleepy.  Physical work is a different story.  I could pull weeds or cook for 8 hours straight as long as I had water and snacks to keep my energy up, but give me a batch of essays to grade and it's like a sleeping pill! The papers are good papers--quite interesting, actually. The problem is me.   


I need projects to keep me motivated.  If I don't have a project, I seem to flounder.  Last year I painted the kitchen cabinets.  I was motivated and driven to complete the project.  I had something physical to show for it when I was done.  For some reason, paid mental work doesn't motivate me to keep working with the same gusto.


I have had more alone hours than usual this week because the kids are at a summer day program at the Church from 9-2.  My plan was to get caught up with grading and prepare for my fall course.  I have done a good bit of grading, but I'm still not caught up.  I have communicated with the bookstore and the book rep. about the text I plan to use this fall, but I haven't written assignments or read the text.  I have done things that were part of the plan for the week, but not as much as I'd hoped to have done by today.  The quiet house mainly reminded me how easily I am distracted.  When I started reading an essay, it would make me think of something else, so I'd do a quick search on that topic.  That's the problem.  I think about too many things, and Google is always ready to help.  


So far today, I've done the following: dropped the kids off at the church, baked a chocolate zucchini cake, went to Mass, baked bread (three part process from scratch), washed a load of laundry, hung it outside to dry,  read some job postings, started a batch of yogurt, washed the dishes, folded and put the laundry away, called the orthodontist, frosted the cake, graded 4 or 5 essays, talked to the bookstore, checked email, and ate lunch plus two handfuls of chocolate chips (because they're good for me!), then met the kids at our friends' house and brought their suits so they could swim.  We got home about 4:15.  I feel like I've accomplished nothing today because I still have 11 essays to grade.  What's the answer?  I know I did a lot today, but those essays are hanging over my neck like the blade of the guillotine.    And now I'm writing a blog post....    


I don't want to be sarcastic or crabby or whiny.  I just want to be done with those essays--but I need to go for a 5-mile run because it's on the training schedule! Maybe after the run and dinner and a nice iced coffee this evening, I will have the sweet clarity and focus to get the grading done so tomorrow can be a day of planning for the fall course.