Friday, December 28, 2012

Natural "Spark" to Treat ADD and Other Conditions

Last night I finished reading Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by John J. Ratey, M.D (2008).  My family physician recommended the book at my annual checkup last month.  I told my doctor of my various discomforts and moodiness—I’m pretty healthy, but hadn’t been feeling 100%.  He didn’t offer pills or suggest a battery of tests.  He simply asked, “Do you exercise regularly?” I hung my head a bit and answered, “Well, I did.”  Notably, my checkup was about a month or so after I ran a half-marathon with my daughter, then abruptly stopped running or exercising.  I was full of excuses—It’s too dark when I want to run…My running shoes don’t feel right…I have too many papers to grade.  Along with the excuses came distractedness, crankiness, and an achy body.  In spite of my overall commitment to healthy living “through diet and exercise,” I didn’t readily recognize that the weeks of sedentary behavior made me feel terrible!

I tend to get the “season-change blues” in late October-early November every year.  The darkness overwhelms me.  The garden is put to bed, so I am less likely to go outdoors.  School is in full swing, and I have essays to grade. Consequently, late fall becomes my season to sit.  I blamed seasonal affective disorder for my woes, but opted to wait for the spring thaw rather than to be pro-active.
My doctor was very enthusiastic about Spark. He described how 1990-1999 was the Decade of the Brain and that research completed in that decade helped doctors to understand the brain and how to treat conditions related to brain function (like depression, A.D.D., Parkinson’s, and Alzheimers).  Ratey’s book takes that foundation and incorporates further research related to the connection of exercise to improvements in behavior, intelligence, mood, recall, and hormonal changes in women. The subtitle, Supercharge Your Mental Circuits to Beat Stress, Sharpen Your Thinking, Lift Your Mood, Boost Your Memory, and Much More, describes the book in a nutshell. 

Many of the readers of my blog seem to find Living the Sweet Catholic Life when searching “Maybe I Have A.D.D.” The chapter of Spark called “Attention Deficit: Running from Distraction” especially attracted my attention as I scanned the Contents. I long for order and schedules (which is common amongst those with A.D.H.D.) but I simultaneously resist such “rigid restrictions.”  My husband is regimented. He has trained for marathons and ultra-marathons while working full time and completing his MBA.  When he was in school, he scheduled his study times and wouldn’t let anything trivial disrupt his routine.  I wonder just how much running has helped his ability to focus and learn—he finished the MBA with a 4.0 GPA!

Though I admire my husband’s routines and dedication, I cannot seem to implement similar schedules for myself. We joke that I’m a free spirit (translate: bird attracted to shiny objects). When I grade papers, I’m lucky to make it through two essays before I search for something online—usually related to the paper, but sometimes not. I desire the results that can be achieved from schedules, but I can’t seem to make myself accountable. I’ve started three novels, two of which I desperately want to complete, but they sit in my Novel folder on the computer with just 20 pages each.  I know what needs to be done, and mostly I get the important stuff done on time.  However, I believe I’m capable of more.  Regular exercise just might be the answer I’m seeking.

When my daughter and I trained for the half-marathon, I made sure we kept to a running schedule.  The routine was good for both of us.  After the race, life was busy and we didn’t seem to have time to run.  In the weeks prior to my regularly scheduled physical everything seemed to change. My body hurt.  My PMS was worse than ever.  I cried for no reason.  When I described the symptoms to the doctor and he recommended exercise as the remedy, I took it seriously.  That evening, I made it back to my Irish dance class for the first time in over a month.  I told my family, “I have to go to dance tonight—doctor’s orders!”  I danced for two hours, and it felt so good to be back!  I made it for four consecutive weeks before the holiday break, and my blues seem to have melted away.  I have started running again, but not as regularly as before the race.  Just those two or three days of exercise each week have already improved my health. 

So, exercise is good medicine for me, but why did I review the book for my blog?  In part, because it’s exciting information! The phrase “something for everyone” comes to mind.  Do you have kids?  They will do better in school if they exercise daily, especially before they study. They will be healthier overall and have better behavior. Are you or someone you know and love reaching the golden years?  Regular exercise can tremendously improve the quality of life for seniors, helping their minds stay sharp and reducing the need for a cabinet full of prescription drugs.  Are you a woman?  Exercise helps women who are pregnant have healthier babies and reduces PMS and Menopausal discomforts.  ADHD?  Anxiety? Depression? Addiction?  All of these health problems can be treated safely and effectively with regular exercise.  And the side effects are a healthier brain and body, with reduced risks for heart disease and diabetes. 

Not convinced that exercise will make a difference for you?  Consider the following studies described in Spark.  First, the Naperville District 203 school students. The 19,000 students are some of the fittest and smartest students in the nation.  Exercise is central to the district’s success.  Next, a new mom experienced severe post-partum depression.  After meeting with Dr. Ratey, she and her husband went directly to purchase an elliptical machine during a Friday afternoon rainstorm.  Her husband wanted so much for her to feel better that he assembled the machine immediately.  She felt the physical burn from the workout and knew she was doing something good for her body.  He first noticed that she was finally sleeping soundly, which quickly alleviated the exhaustion and improved her mood.  Finally, and most profoundly, was a nun who had exercised her mind (along with the other sisters in her order) through “vocabulary quizzes, mental puzzles, and debates about public issues” (243).  Sister Bernadette died at age 85 of a heart attack.  Though she was mentally sharp until her death, a postmortem examination of her brain (which she had donated “to science as part of an ongoing study…by epidemiologist David Snowdon) indicated massive damage from Alzheimer’s disease.  The use it or lose it principal applies here.  Though the damage will still occur for those afflicted with Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s, physical and mental exercise, and especially social interaction, will keep us healthier than any pill created by modern science. 

God has given us the tools to care for our bodies and brains—exercise and interaction with people.  Our modern culture fosters a sedentary lifestyle and too much screen time.  I am inspired by Dr. Ratey’s book, and I hope to share the message that physical fitness is about more than “looking good” or “being thin.” Physical fitness strengthens our minds and bodies—improving our quality of life.

Note: Before beginning any exercise program always consult a physician.  Likewise, do not stop medications unless advised to do so by your doctor. 

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

May the Christ Child fill your hearts with His Love, His Light, and His Life!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Tweeting and Restless Heart

I am trying to figure out Twitter.  My 13-year-old niece helped me set up an account, but I don't know who or what to follow or what all the abbreviations mean, yet!  If you would like to follow me on Twitter, you can find me at @kfordwork.

The main reason I signed up for Twitter is that I'm helping promote an event, and I thought it would be a useful tool.  However, when one doesn't know how to effectively use a tool, the tool remains idle and useless.  I will do some research over the coming weeks to work on making Twitter a useful tool for me.

In the meantime, if you live in Southern New England and are hoping to see the new Ignatius Press film, Restless Heart: The Confessions of St. Augustine, we will be hosting a screening at The Basilica of Saint Stanislaus, Bishop and Martyr, in Chicopee, MA at 7:30 p.m. on  January 19, 2013.  The film is a Year of Faith event and tickets are on sale now.

The movie screening will be a fund raiser for our parish youth group for their summer camp retreat.  My two oldest went to camp for a week last summer, and what a blessing!  They spent a week in prayer with other faithful youth.  During camp, they created various blogs, podcasts, and other tools for the New Evangelization.  By hosting Restless Heart, the parish has a unique opportunity to share one of the most powerful conversion stories in the history of Catholicism, while experiencing the witness of three great saints, St. Augustine, St. Monica, and St. Ambrose.

Please pray with me for the success of this screening of Restless Heart, and if the movie isn't scheduled to come where you are, prayerfully consider hosting a screening of your own.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Catholic Baby Name Book by Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Today, I wish to direct you to a post on the Spiritual Woman blog by my dear friend Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur: The Catholic Baby Name Book is Now Available for Pre-Order.  If you know expectant parents, Confirmation candidates/confirmation teachers, or authors looking for character names, this book would be great for any and all of the above!

Friday, December 7, 2012

Holding My Tongue

I admit it--sometimes I'm a whiner and a complainer.  If something annoys me, it's hard to hold back my critical tone.  Today, while sitting in the waiting room of my doctor's office, it took every ounce of restraint not to pipe up and comment on the inappropriate behavior of the person to my right.  The woman looked to be over 65, at which age one generally knows how to exhibit proper public behavior.  However, in this electronic age, all bets are off! "Grandma Gamer" sat playing a video game on her smartphone with the volume blaring. Every few seconds a tinkling coin sound or a male voice exclaiming "Excellent" or some other praise phrase would emanate from her handheld device.  

I pulled out my copy of Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by John J. Ratey.  My primary care doctor recommended the book to me.  Ratey describes the many beneficial aspects of exercise to overall health, particularly mental health and stress reduction.  I tried to focus on the words, but Grandma Gamer kept winning levels and the noise drove me to distraction. So much for passing the time quietly and catching up on my reading without interruptions and distractions in my active household.

I looked around to see if anyone else reacted to the sound.  Two women were deep in conversation.  Another, to my left, thumbed her own device, seeming oblivious to the screaming game.  One other woman sat across from me.  She didn't roll her eyes or glare at the other woman, but her body language did seem to reflect that it wasn't appropriate behavior for a quiet waiting room with "Turn Off All Cell Phones" posted at the door.

The woman to my left was called in for her appointment, then the women behind her who were farthest from Grandma Gamer also went in for their appointments.  The man in the game shouted more congratulations.  I looked over at the woman again.  She never made eye contact with me nor indicated that my disapproval was anywhere on her radar.  I prayed.  Dear God, I don't want to be a jerk.  Why am I so irritated at her entertainment?  She's just trying to not be bored while waiting.  Help me not be so irritated.  Amen.  

I held back again from saying, "Could you pl-ease turn the sound off???"  I took a deep breath, stood up, and moved to the empty seat farthest away from Grandma Gamer.  I don't know if she noticed and used her deeply hidden public etiquette deduction skills or if she simply "beat the game," but a minute or two later, I could hear the quiet, lovely piano music piped through the waiting room speakers.  I recognized the tune from "The Snowman" movie.

What lesson can I take from this encounter?  I guess my quiet response was best.  I don't know that it made a difference, but I avoided confrontation and insulting the woman.  We all need distractions at times, and perhaps her appointment was a cause for stress and worry.

In this season of Advent, dear Jesus, help me to recognize you in the broken, the hurting, and the annoying, because I know I, too, am broken, hurting, and annoying in my own right.  Help me to be patient and love those around me.  Amen.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanksgiving Preparations without Stress

Many times over the years when I've hosted a holiday meal, I've gotten stressed and cranky.  Thanksgiving is tomorrow, so I don't know if I'll make it through without a "mommy meltdown," but I feel more relaxed than I have the past month.  A few weeks ago I felt rather blue, overwhelmed by the darkness of fall.  The past week, though, I refocused my energies on the important things.  Meal planning.  Exercise.  Working with my children on school.  Most importantly, communicating with God.

Meal planning makes the whole day smoother.  If I know in the morning what I'm cooking for dinner, the rest of the day seems to magically fall into place.  This week especially, I knew every day what we'd be having for dinner, and in spite of "out of the house" appointments every day, dinner was ready on time and satisfying.

Exercise dropped to the bottom of my list after the half-marathon in October.  I prefer running outdoors, and the dark days limit when I can run.  Yes, that's an excuse.  I went for my yearly physical this week, and when I mentioned minor irritations I've suffered recently, the first thing the good doctor asked was whether I have a regular exercise regimen.  No offers for pills or tests, just, "Are you exercising?  If not, get on it!"  Dear Reader, I don't know about you, but sometimes I just need someone to tell me what to do!  The doctor's strong advice propelled my desire for immediate change.  I knew that I would go to dance class that night.  I know that I will run Thanksgiving morning and again on Sunday.  Exercise strengthens my body and my mind, reducing stress.  The change must happen now, not when the days are longer and warmer!

When homeschooling feels like a chore or a bore, I want to quit and send everyone to school. More excuses--I can't do everything, they don't listen, etc.  However, I finally realized that if it's not working, I need to change. So I did! After prayer, I put their work first most days instead of my chores. And guess what happened?  My kids grew to be more motivated and interested in their work.  I'm enjoying sitting with them and talking through their lessons.  Last week, we read and discussed the Declaration of Independence.  Working from the primary document, we discussed why the Colonists sought independence from England and what makes a government tyrannical.  Yes, the 7-year-old was a little bored and antsy at times, but the 11-year-old was engaged, making connections.  We looked up the hard words in the document as we read.  That day was probably the best history lesson I ever experienced, as a student or a teacher.

Communicating with God through prayer makes all of the rest possible.  My youngest child is preparing for First Communion this school year.  Again, as his teacher, I'm learning more about the faith.  Our lesson plans recommend reading passages from The Faith Explained by Fr. Leo J. Trese.  I've owned the book for a while, but I began studying it more seriously this fall.  What a treasure!  Catholic teachings are explained simply, with depth.  The section on prayer explains the purpose of prayer as "adoration, thanksgiving, repentance and petition." The gentle reminder that petition should only come after adoring, thanking, and repenting particularly impressed me.

Today, I had the joyous experience of a visit from a Jehovah's Witness.  Their Kingdom Hall is less than a mile from my house, so they frequently knock at my door. I usually answer, listen to their message, and say no thank you to their tracts (always kindly and cordially). Today, I was outside when a group was working their way through my neighborhood.  "Sue" approached me, alone (usually they come in pairs).  I cheerfully entered a conversation with Sue regarding my daily study of scripture.  We agreed that God speaks very clearly to us through the scripture and that in these tumultuous times, we must turn to Him.  I shared with her that I had recently taught my young son the Lord's Prayer and that instead of simply memorizing the words, we talked about what each phrase meant and how the prayer helps us to know God.  She seemed surprised at my enthusiasm.  We kept talking.  She shared a passage from Timothy.  I shared my experience reading the parable of the talents this morning.  She asked me what my faith is.  I told her that I'm Roman Catholic.  She seemed stunned.  She said she hasn't met many Catholics who study scripture.  I mentioned how rich our faith is and how we can worship daily at Mass, and that every day we have scriptures from the Old or New Testament and a reading from the Gospel.  The Holy Spirit guided me to evangelize the evangelizer.  We shared a moment, loving God together.  She offered me a book about the Bible and said she'd like to talk to me again.  I don't know God's plan, but I know that today I witnessed to the Faith.  He used me as Salt and Light, and I'm so overjoyed to be Jesus' Witness!

As this evening draws to a close, I will turn in prayer to God, just as I did this morning.  First, my God, I adore you.  I am in awe of your creation all around me, especially humanity.  I thank you, this Thanksgiving Eve, for the blessings you so abundantly shower upon me, especially when I am a retched servant who hides her talent.  For those times when I am far from you, you are still near.  Forgive me.  My petition, help me to more genuinely adore, thank, and repent.  And help me and all hosts and hostesses to stay calm and joyful tomorrow, if it be in accordance with Your Holy Will.  Amen.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Veteran's Day

Yesterday was Veteran's Day, but today schools, banks, and government offices are closed in observance of the holiday.  Many men in my family served in the military, including my father in the U.S. Air Force, my grandfather and uncle in the Navy, and my husband in the Coast Guard.  To them and to all who have served to defend and protect the United States of America, to all who have served in times of crisis and natural disasters, to all who have been stationed on foreign soils, Thank You!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Rock the Vote!

Finally, after today, no more political ads for a while.  I lost a Facebook "friend" a few months ago when she and another friend were debating on my page.  The funny thing is, it got all political when I made a comment about something that didn't seem political to me.  I realized the lost friend was not much of a friend since she "unfriended" me before I made a single response in their debate.  Presidential election years seem to make people just a bit more nutty than normal.  I'd personally prefer to talk about food and gardening than politics!

However, it's our responsibility to be aware of the candidates and the issues.  Today, as a Catholic, I must vote on the side of life, on the ballot questions and on the candidates. I must vote on the side of life from "the womb to the tomb" in God's time, not the mercy killer or the abortionist's time.  I must trust that our Creator has a better plan for our lives and our suffering than we could ever imagine in our limited human capacity.  Today, I pray especially for those who find themselves pregnant and despairing or facing a terminal illness--and for those with the misguided, though often well-meaning, solution.  May they recognize the value in every human life, that we are all precious sons and daughters of God the Father.

All American Citizens--I encourage you to exercise your right and rock the vote today!

Friday, November 2, 2012

All Souls Day

Today our homeschool group joined together for First Friday Mass.  The young priest, who was ordained this past summer, gave a sermon about Purgatory and the importance of praying for the Holy Souls awaiting the full joys of heaven during their time of final preparation.  He explained that the Church Triumphant are the Saints in Heaven (the goal for all of us!), the Church Militant are those here on earth, and the Church Suffering are the Souls in Purgatory.  A parishioner who has a special devotion to praying for the Church Suffering asked Father to remind us to pray for the Souls in Purgatory--they need our prayers for their final purification to be fully in God's presence in Heaven.  Plus, when they are in Heaven, they will return the prayers on our behalf!

Father offered Mass in a small chapel in the parish rectory.  The small space was perfect for the five families who participated today.  At the homeschool Masses, the children greatly outnumber the adults and babies make noise, and that's okay.  I don't have small children anymore--my youngest is 7.  I remember going to weekday Masses when my children were infants and toddlers and worrying so much about disrupting the Daily Communicants.  Many of them told me they liked to hear children at Mass, which made me feel a little better, but I didn't understand.  Now, when I hear small children at Mass, especially during the Consecration, I recall Luke 18:15-17:
People were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them, and when the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. 
Jesus, however, called the children to himself and said, “Let the children come to me and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.”
I look to the altar (often to notice a smiling priest) and imagine Our Lord grinning at the coos and cries and calls of "Da Da Da."  

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the gift of our holy priests, especially those who graciously give time to our homeschool group.  Thank you for the gift of our families--let us love and appreciate them from the "womb to the tomb" as Father prayed today.  Thank you especially on this All Soul's Day for those who've gone before us--purify them as gold so they may join the Church Triumphant!  Amen.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Searching for My Narrative Voice

Happy All Saints Day!

This morning, on the way to Mass, I thought of a story I started in graduate school for a fiction-writing class.  The memory inspired me to revisit the characters in the novel I will write this month.  I found the draft dated October 25, 1995.  The folder contained numerous copies with comments from my classmates.  One particular draft had a sea of blue ink--comments, corrections, critiques--from one of my peers.  The final remark, Reread and think about what you want to do with this as a storyteller.  Then write and explore!--AZ

My biggest hangup with writing fiction has been my resistance to the role of storyteller.  I am too nice to my characters. I protect them.  I help them avoid danger. I help them make good choices.  Then, I run out of story before it begins.

Thank you, AZ, for telling me 18 years ago to think about how I want to approach the story.  I took your advice and reread.  I see an opportunity here!  And once it's written, I may seek you out and send you a manuscript that you can cover in blue ink.


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

NaNoWriMo Starts Thursday, November 1, 2012

Have you ever considered writing a novel?  Do the dark days of November seem like to perfect time to sip tea and write 1,667 words a day to meet a 50,000-word goal by November 30?  Are you looking for a new goal or project in the midst of your already busy life that will elicit the remarks, "You're nuts!" "I don't know how you do it!" or "You're writing a novel.  Wow, I've always wanted to write a novel!"? If so, you should check out the National Novel Writing Month website at NaNoWriMo.org.

I started a novel in 2010, but grading the research paper assignment I had my college students working on got in my way.  Last year, my excuse was a 5-day power outage, and the research paper.

This year, the research paper is due earlier in the month!  The worst of the Superstorm Sandy missed our area, so power is normal.  I haven't settled on a genre or written any character sketches this time.  However, I am hopeful that 2012 will be the year I write my first novel!

I proudly watched my daughter write every day and "win" as she completed her word-count goal in 2010 and 2011 (co-authored with her best friend). At age 13, she is giddy for November 1 and the chance to write her third novel.

If you have been reading my blog posts, you may be snickering a bit and thinking this is part of my A.D.O.S. and I won't finish.  You may be correct in that assumption, but I'm telling you about my goal as self-motivation to stick with it.

If you decide to write a novel in November, I wish you love and sweet success, to the tune of 50,000 words.


Monday, October 29, 2012

A.D.D., A.D.O.S., or Life in the Internet Age?

When I started this little blog, I hoped it would motivate me to get my laundry room organized and eliminate clutter in my domestic church.  The thought of taking pictures of my newly organized space and sharing successes in the hopes of helping other distracted moms inspired me. We had succeeded in painting just one short wall and organizing a few sections of the laundry room when the temporary lull in our family schedule disappeared.  I haven't been able to finish anything else in that space since school started.

Last Friday, I finally moved the clutter out of the "family room" section of the basement and back into the laundry room since I know I won't be painting any other walls before Christmas.  Back to square one!  The section of the room that was destined to be a workout area is again full of boxes of clothing and art supplies that I haven't used in three years.

Which begs the question: Why can't I just finish the job?  My blog post that has gotten the most traffic is "Maybe I have A.D.D," so I recognize that many of you must have similar struggles.  Is it A.D.D. or something else? I know I have difficulty staying on task when I'm online.  If I am grading student essays, I am often curious about ideas in their papers which prompt me to do a "quick" search.  Next thing I know, I've checked two or three sites that are related to the essay.  Then I notice that I have received a new email and take a moment to read the message.  Next thing I know, I've spent 45 minutes to do a 15 minute task.

The problem isn't isolated to internet usage.  My parents and grandma came to visit for my son's confirmation this past weekend.  I was spinning in circles for days before they arrived.  My timer helped me stay focused enough to keep the laundry up-to-date.  However, everything else I did was interrupted by my own racing mind.  Shaking the rugs from the bathroom would remind me to scrub the trash baskets which in turn would remind me that the wall in the kitchen had cobwebs on it.  Meanwhile, I needed to make an urgent appointment at the pediatrician and buy groceries before taking one child to swimming and picking the other up from cross country.  Not to mention music lessons.  I chose to homeschool because we wanted to give our children a good, Catholic education, and because I wanted flexibility and family-control of our schedule. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to give someone else control of the schedule--someone who has a better sense of time and the ability to say no.

My guess is that a lot of my readers who are finding me through a search about A.D.D. are equally scattered and busy.  My friend told me about a "condition" called A.D.O.S.--Attention Deficit, Ooooooh Shiny! Those suffering A.D.O.S. are easily distracted by shiny objects or exciting things.  The exciting things are my shiny objects.  I often think I have time to do this little project or that fundraiser, and next thing I know I'm stressed out, behind on my work, and impatient.

Like I said, the children are involved in numerous activities which are all great for them.  But driving them here, there, and everywhere leads to chaos.  I long for simplicity, but thwart my own efforts by seeking out activities to fill the day.

Hurricane Sandy and the other two big storms are set to converge, which may lead to widespread power outages.  Last October, our area suffered a week-long power outage.  Other than being a bit chilly because our forced-air gas furnace relies on electricity, the week was great!  We read books, spent time together, and didn't have to go anywhere for days.  My A.D.D. or A.D.O.S. was gone for the week!  I had clarity and focus, and the house stayed pretty clean.  I honestly don't want the power to go out today, but I'm glad the outside activities are already cancelled. We'll "do school" this morning and maybe some baking as long as the power is on, and then just be together the rest of the day--sweetness !

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Reevaluating My Expectations

I had intended to post to the blog weekly, if not daily.  It's been nearly three weeks since my most recent post.  Why?  I don't want to use the "b" word--busy.  "Busy" is just an overused excuse.

In the past few weeks, my housekeeping has been inadequate, my meal prep has been icky, and my temper...okay, this blog isn't the confessional.  However, I have realized in the past few days (partly because I received the graces of the Sacrament of Reconciliation) that the expectations I have for what I can accomplish on any given day are generally unrealistic.  Also, they tend to be me-driven instead of God-driven.  I made a giant list on the white board this morning and assigned tasks to certain days as I prepare for my family to come visit for my eldest child's Confirmation this Saturday.  The list may be a bit too ambitious, but at least I don't expect to do everything in one day.

Usually, when company is coming, I lose my mind a little bit, in the whole "SHE Perfectionism" that FlyLady talks about so often. I know, we're not supposed to use the "P" word.  I want the house to look nice.  I want the food to taste great.  I want. I want. I want.

Some of the things I want are reasonable and good things to do in preparation for company.  Others are over-the-top.  Do I really need to scrub the kitchen walls and all the windows in the house this week?  I'm not on vacation from work or homeschooling, so I would be taking time from my responsibilities to look good in the eyes of others.   Pride.

Maybe instead of trying to make everything magazine perfect, I can make it comfortable and welcoming.  I can spend a few minutes wiping down the wall near the stove that needs freshening and removing the kitty nose prints from the most obvious spots.  It's not worth the stress of trying to be perfect for people who already know I'm not!  They are coming to visit us, not my house.  As long as the bathroom is clean and we have food to eat, a little clutter in other rooms is easily forgotten!

As I write about the "Martha" preparations (I would have probably been in the kitchen with her), I pause to reflect on the "Mary" preparations--she who had the best part.  I mentioned that I get a little nutty when I'm hosting events.  So, what should I do when that anxious, nutty feeling tugs at my mind and heart?  Pray, of course.  What for? God's will, of course.  How will I know what that is?   By listening with my heart.

I still need to do things to get ready, but the approach should be pure joy.  I don't "have to make cookies." I'm baking because we will be celebrating this weekend--my son will be Confirmed and we'll have a mini family reunion!  We will be part of a larger gathering of friends whose children are also being Confirmed.  We are gathering in love and prayer to celebrate the gifts of the Holy Spirit and His Grace in our children's lives.  Therefore, the work of my hands will be a joy.  The focus for my tasks must be the why and the who--not the quantity of tasks checked off my list.  If I approach the next few days with love, asking God to help me use the Gifts of the Holy Spirit that I received at my own Confirmation, then the things that really need doing will get done.

Most importantly, reevaluating my expectations to reflect God's will in my life instead of fostering my pride will help my whole family "to choose the best part."

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Transitus

Today is October 3--my mother-in-law's birthday, my son Brian's half-birthday, the Transitus of St. Francis of Assisi, and a Wednesday.  It's a day like any other day, where lots of people need prayer.  Two families I know had "quiet" struggles this week (not many were aware of their hardships), and I wanted to take away their troubles.  Of course, I don't have that sort of power, so I did the next best thing, I prayed, hard.  And, I asked my children to pray, too.  I know some people don't believe in the power of prayer, but I've felt and seen prayer at work in my life and the lives of those around me.

We are parishioners at a Franciscan parish, and my husband and I studied and were professed in the Secular Franciscan Order early in our marriage.  We moved a few times since the profession and haven't been active in a local fraternity, but I still feel the call of the Franciscan charism in my life--a call to prayer, love, and simplicity.

October is a month we remember to respect life.  Both of the families who are struggling recognize the value of life.  On this Transitus, I pray that St. Francis asks God's blessing on my friends as they transition into the next phase of their family life, which will undoubtedly be much different next week than it was at the end of September.

The children and I were able to go and be of service for one of the families this morning.  Somehow housework at someone else's house seems so much easier and more fulfilling than it does at home.... One of the joys of homeschooling is the license to drop everything and be of service to those who need it when they need it.  I hope my children learn the "perfect joy" of helping others through our "at your service" days.  Just as the students at traditional schools have a break from academics on teacher in-service days, we had a break from academics this morning.  Though we weren't reading and writing, much learning was happening.  We learned about organizing, about making room for others in our homes and hearts, and about getting things done peacefully and lovingly.  The older children took turns minding the toddler while the moms did big work.  Other older kids sorted, organized, and tidied a room to make space for another bed.  In the middle of our work, we took a break and shared a meal.  Sitting at the table together with our friends, just as we do with our family, gave us an opportunity to hear one another, especially the child who is struggling the most with the transition.  He had a place to share his frustrations, but he still smiled and laughed.  I'd call it a good day!

I pray for all who may happen upon my little blog.  May God continue to bless you and your family in whatever hidden struggles you may face.  May he hold you in the palm of his hand and give you his peace. Amen.


Friday, September 28, 2012

Month End Reflection

How quickly time passes!  It seems like a couple days ago that I was registering my son at his new school and preparing for fall classes at the college and our homeschool, and yet a whole month has passed!  September is a harried month for me.  I get wrapped up in the "Back to School" excitement and feel as though I'm spinning in circles to accomplish the tasks that need doing.  The days are getting shorter, and I am mindful that I need light and exercise to not slip into depression in late October and early November.  The challenge is that it is dark so much of the day, and on days like today, rainy weather accents the gloom and darkness.

Elizabeth and I have been training for a half marathon which is now just two weeks away.  I am so excited to share that experience with my daughter.  We have had some struggles with completing every run on our training schedule (because of the family schedule) the past few weeks; however, we seem to be well-conditioned and ready to tackle 13.1 miles!  Since our training schedule is drawing to a close, I will need a new plan for the coming months so I keep exercising.  We never finished our workout area in the basement, so after the race will be a great time to finish that project and establish an indoor workout space for the long winter months ahead.

My oldest will be confirmed at the end of October, so the next month will be just as busy as September has been.  In the midst of sports, music lessons, and school, we are preparing for my grandmother, mom, and dad to visit.  I want them to be comfortable and for the house to be clean and welcoming.  However, I don't want to become a basket case trying to make things perfect when perfection is not a realistic goal.  I have a tendency to get a little nutty before trips and events.  I'm praying for a peaceful disposition and the discipline to continue with the decluttering and cleaning I started in July, taking a small space at a time. The FlyLady daily messages have focused on preparing now for the holidays by decluttering and working on small spots each day.  I haven't listened. However, I have decided to "jump in where I am" and take care of two hot spots today--the kitchen counter and the pile of books and papers on the floor next to my desk.  I know that clean surfaces make me feel more peaceful.  And though our family members don't admit it (they seem oblivious to the clutter), they are more peaceful when our home is tidy and mom is calm.

I thought about starting Monday with my cleaning and new attitude since it will be a new month. Silliness!  That's procrastination, the thing that's gotten me into most of my current stress and messes. I will begin today, fifteen minutes at a time, making changes and working to become the woman God wants me to be.

Monday, September 17, 2012

October Baby's Gentle Mother

Last spring, the movie October Baby opened in limited theaters, surprising many with its success--8th at the Box Office and 3rd in per-theater ticket sales on the same opening weekend as the blockbuster hit, Hunger Games.  October Baby came out on DVD and Blu-Ray last week, on September 11, so if you missed it in theaters, you can now rent or purchase the movie or host a movie night at your church.

My city was lucky enough to have two theaters pick up the movie in an expanded release in April.  Our parish's youth group attended the movie together.  I took my two oldest children and their two friends (who are siblings). After the movie, the youth group shared ice cream and great conversations about many important topics touched upon in the movie: the dignity of human life, forgiveness, chastity, and adoption, just to name a few.  The conversation continued during our ride home, touching on those topics in a beautiful way inspired by the film.

The movie has a powerful message of love, the dignity of all human life, and forgiveness told through the experience of Hannah (played by Rachel Hendrix), a college freshman who just found out she was adopted after surviving a failed abortion attempt.  Hannah isn't the only character who finds healing in the film--all of the characters grow in some way.

Her adoptive mother, played Jennifer Price (Grace), hasn't been discussed much in the reviews I've read.  Hannah's father, Jacob (played by John Schneider) has gotten much more attention as he has a more central role in the plot development. Their marriage and their parenthood, however, are both truly heroic.  I won't spoil the plot here, but I will say that the seemingly "small" role that Price plays in the film touched me in a very special way as a mother.  She suffered a tragic loss, and then another tragic loss.  She raised her adopted daughter, who suffered numerous health problems, and loved her as her own flesh.  Her role reminded me of both the Blessed Mother and St. Joseph.  She raised a child who was not her biological child, just as Joseph did, answering a call from God (her "call" wasn't in a dream, but in a bulletin about babies needing a home).  In another pivotal scene, Grace tells Jacob, "I think we need to trust our daughter."  I could hear Mary telling the servants at the Wedding at Cana, "Do whatever he tells you," before Our Lord's first public miracle. She is a woman of deep faith and deep love.  She recognizes the value of life.  Though Hannah wasn't her biological child, Grace mothers her tenderly and lovingly, as the beautiful child of God that Hannah is.  In my own parenting, on those days when I struggle most, I try to remember that even though I gave birth to my four children, "They are His, not mine.  They are on loan from God, and I need to care for them with a deep, abiding love that reflects the One who gave them to me."  Grace personifies God's love for his children in October Baby.

Abortion and adoption are touchy topics, especially during this election year when the current administration is touting its anti-life platform with great hubris.  This movie handles tough topics in a very human, loving way, focusing on the freedom one gains through forgiving another.

Most everyone in the United States knows women who have had abortions, though it's not something they are likely to share.  I can only imagine the struggles they have suffered--some with the father of the child and the nature of their conception, some with having "too many" children already, others with fear of what others would think.  There are many reasons a woman would seek an abortion, and I empathize with their struggle.  Many of those women may have made a different choice with counseling, with support from family and friends, or with church support. Many struggle with health and fertility issues related to the abortion, and so many suffer psychologically from the loss. Movies like October Baby give people on both sides of the political topic of abortion a chance to find common ground--looking at the "issue" in terms of a life that was saved and the love that grew through the lives Hannah touched on her journey to discover "who she is."  The "Grace" in her life, her adoptive mother, helped guide and shape the baby who grew into a young woman with the power to forgive.

October Baby is a movie worth seeing--and seeing again.  If you saw October Baby in theaters, buy a copy to share with your friends who missed it.  If you missed the movie last spring, get a copy and watch it this weekend!

Friday, September 14, 2012

The Exaltation of the Holy Cross

The Exaltation of the Holy Cross

Today, as I reflect on my little burdens, frustrations, time wasters, and such, I remember that Our Lord bore the burden of the sins of the whole world on Calvary.  My tiny cross becomes insignificant by comparison.  Today, Lord Jesus, let me join my small burdens to your sacrifice, "In atonement for our sins and for those of the whole world."  Jesus, have Mercy on me, a sinner.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Outstanding

Today, my husband graduated with his Master of Business Administration degree.  He was named the "Outstanding Graduate" student in his major, earning a 4.0 GPA.  We didn't know he would be receiving the award until we arrived at the ceremony and saw his name in the program.

My husband is a quiet, humble man.  He is not one to brag about his achievements.  In fact, he often says, "I'm not that smart.  I just work hard."  Understatement!  As his wife, I am proud and impressed and blessed.  When the dean spoke about Mike, she shared remarks from one of his professors about an extra project that he worked on in the course.  The project was challenging, and only one other student accepted the challenge.  Mike was the only one to follow through the whole semester and complete the project.  His follow-through is amazing.  I've mentioned before in this blog that he is an ultra-marathoner.  Mike has a work ethic like nobody else I know.

We were originally given 5 tickets for the graduation ceremony.  Of course, we invited Mike's parents to come.  That meant we could only bring two of our four children.  We opted to bring the oldest and youngest.  When I realized he was receiving the award, I was disappointed that he hadn't asked if we could bring everyone.  I checked with the greeters from the university, and they assured me there were enough seats.  We live about a mile from the school, so I called the children, told them "Get dressed and ready.  I'm picking you up now--Daddy is getting an award!"  I ran like, well, a runner, to the car in my dress and heels.  Drove safely, but swiftly home.  The children came quickly and we got back to the university with 15 minutes to spare before the ceremony started.

I was so happy that all four of our children were able to witness their father earning a special award for his hard work.  He's such a good example for them.  He worked through his undergraduate and graduate degrees while all of them were old enough to know what "Daddy is studying" means.  I hope his example inspires them to use the talents and intelligence God has blessed them with and to develop those talents to serve Him in the world.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Ready, Set, Go!

This week has flown by! Tommy had swim lessons every morning, the older boys had work at the garden, Elizabeth and I ran.  We also had the consultation with the oral surgeon regarding wisdom teeth extraction for Elizabeth.  Today, we head to the beach with my in-laws (mamas, grandma, and kids day).  Instead of packing lunch and getting ready, I'm sitting here writing.  I fear, though, that if I don't take a few moments to write and collect my thoughts, that I might become screamy mom.  I don't like her....

Anyway, Tommy turned 7 this week on the Feast of the Assumption!  It's hard to believe my youngest child will be entering his 2nd grade year in a few weeks.  I remember 2nd grade and First Communion preparation.  It's hard to believe he's so big already!

With all of the "out-of-the-house" activities, I've become a little anxious the last few days.  I need to make final preparations for our new homeschool year.  I would like to wrap up the laundry room project so the space will be organized, and all of the overflow that has been moved to other rooms can be put away.  My college course syllabus and assignments need to be completed.  There is much to do.

But today, before the teens go to camp next week and school begins the following week, we will have one carefree day at the beach.


Monday, August 13, 2012

List-making and Getting Things Done

Last Friday, I turned in grades for the summer course I was teaching.  Some might think that means "vacation" until the next semester begins on September 4.  In my mind, it actually means a mad frenzy of back to school preparations and tending to the chores that haven't been done properly for the past month or so.  This morning, I made a to-do list.  The plan is to delegate a number of tasks to my children.  The hope is that they will take the assignments cheerfully and perform them with enthusiasm and joy at the opportunity for loving service to their family.  I'm genuinely optimistic at this point!

This past weekend, Mike and I made some progress on the laundry room project.  We cleared a 4-tier metal shelf against the wall that will become my pantry storage area.  The metal shelf was here when we bought the house, and it's rusty and ugly.  To-do item--sand, prime, and paint the shelf.  The shelf will have a new home in the utility corner of the laundry room where it will be used to store tools and supplies for painting and household repair projects.  That shelf was a primary problem spot.  Until we cleared and moved it, nothing substantial could be completed in the laundry room because the space is so narrow.  I kept avoiding the task, but my husband encouraged me that we could get it done.  We filled a trash bag with stuff that had been taking up space but was really junk.  We moved the shelf outside to be sanded, swept the floor, and dusted the wall.  Then I masked the area to be painted.  We need to do a few other things before painting (removing a paper towel holder and switch plate from the wall and removing the door and hinges from the door frame adjacent to that section of wall), but it's definitely do-able this week.  Once the tool and pantry sections are done, the rest of the laundry room project should move along more quickly.

In addition to the laundry room project, we need to tend the garden.  The weeds weren't bad during the drought, but we've had several good rains now, and the crab grass, lamb's quarters, and their weedy companions have taken over in the garden beds.  I had hoped to plant seed for some fall crops, but I'm behind schedule.  At the minimum, I still plan to plant a few varieties of radishes and lettuce/spinach to continue a harvest through October.  The beans, which were stunted by the drought, have started to take off now and have flower buds!  I thought we'd have no beans this year, but God seems to have other plans.

Besides the physical jobs, we must prepare for a new homeschool year and I need to prepare for my fall classes with a new textbook.  We have three hectic weeks ahead of us in August, but with some delegating and a lot of prayer and trust in God, I know we can accomplish our goals. I'm looking forward to the new school year!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Where Are You?

And this, my friends, is why I hesitated to start a blog. I know it's been quite a while since my last post. You can only imagine how many posts are sitting in my head that I just haven't taken the time to write over the past week or so!

I won't make excuses, but let's just say it's been a bit busy in my world lately.

Check back over the next week, and I hope to have written on at least some of the following:

Yummy step-by-step recipe with squash, eggs, ricotta cheese, and kale.
Running with my daughter.
Preparing for a new homeschool year.
A recap of the ultra-marathon experience with my husband and our crew.

I am teaching a summer English composition course which ends this week, so I will be able to spend some time focusing on my writing instead of critiquing the writing of others once the research papers and final exams are graded.

Have a sweet and blessed day!


Friday, July 27, 2012

Ultramarathon Wife

Tonight, beginning at 7 p.m., my husband will embark on a 12-hour journey, testing his endurance, fitness, and mind in a way many people find "crazy."  He will be running a 12-hour race.  The winner will be the person who completes the most laps around a lake.  The loop is 3.17 miles.  I am nervous.

He ran a 50-mile race in April, so this one will just be a few hours longer.  That was a long day, but I was the only support he had, which meant while he ran for almost 9 hours, I sat around for 9 hours. There were other wives of ultramarathoners with whom I chatted throughout the day, but it was a rather lonely venture for both of us. Tonight, both our daughter and Mike's best friend will be with us. Elizabeth and I are planning to take turns running (pacing) with Mike late in the race, when his mind may be playing tricks on him and he will certainly be fatigued.  We will also be there at the pit stops to give Mike the food, drinks, and care he needs to get him through the race. It will be great to have another grown-up, especially one who is proficient in camping skills and has lots of gear.  In terms of gear and food, I think we're fairly well-prepared for the night.  What the night will do to my husband physically and mentally is not something I can honestly prepare for at all.

Dear Lord, bless Mike and all the runners participating in tonight's races (marathon, 12-hour, and 24-hour!!). Keep them healthy and strong.  Protect the runners, the volunteers, and the supporters of the runners.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Purging of the Junk Continues

Trash night was last night.  We added more crud to the giant barrel. Our city has large rolling trash barrels for residential pickup.  In addition, we have a giant blue barrel for recycling, which is picked up every other week.  It's a great program--we don't have to sort.  Paper, plastic, glass, and metal cans are all included in the recyclables.  We are diligent recyclers, so the barrel is usually quite full by the second week.  One the other hand, the same-sized giant green barrel, which is picked up weekly, is almost never even halfway full. We compost food scraps. We don't buy fast food or use paper plates or paper napkins unless we're having a party.  We simply don't generate much trash.  However, I know the clutter lurking in the laundry room includes a fair amount of waste.  We've held onto empty packaging from various electronics for years, just in case.  We kept an old medicine cabinet, just in case.  We kept the arms from an office chair that have collected dust for six years, just in case.  Some people might need a dumpster to really declutter their homes.  Since we are using baby steps to get the job done, we simply need to put more things that are trash in the giant empty trash barrel we already pay to have picked up weekly.

I admit, some of the screws, woods, wires, and other miscellaneous items we've kept have come in handy for this project or that emergency over the years.  However, the bulk of the items sitting in the basement are waste.  They waste our space.  They waste our time, by preventing us from organizing the  stuff we do need.  They waste our energy when we need to move them repeatedly to get to the things we really want and need.


One of the biggest sources of clutter is partly used cans of paint.  I must have 8 or 10 cans, some of which probably have about a cup of paint in them.  Now that it seems we'll be getting a little break from the extended drought and heatwave, I'm hoping to do a few rounds of touch up painting to use up the last of what's in those cans and get them out of the house before the edges are too rusty to use.


The biggest blessing of the whole purging project is that Mike is finally on board, which has made the job much more manageable.  For a long time, he took my requests to get rid of things as a personal affront--like I only wanted to get rid of his things.  Something changed recently, though, and I'm not sure why or how.  In any case, he knows it's not about him or his stuff.  Now we're working together to make our little house meet our needs and keep our family comfortable.

The decluttering project is taking many weeks longer than I'd hoped, but it's getting done a little section at a time.  We spend 30-60 minutes opening boxes and pulling out items.  Some, we just toss.  Others, we talk about and then decide together.  We've tossed junk, donated useful items, and found new uses for dusty items we'd forgotten.  We've done two or three rounds of sifting and sorting so far. I'm going to give it another round or two of purging before I post updated photos.  The change is negligible to the untrained eye.  In other words, if you never walked in our laundry dungeon, it would be hard to recognize the tremendous progress we've made.

The ultimate goal for the laundry room is to make it a multi-purpose space.  One end will be a workout area with mats and weights.  The middle section will be a pantry area and laundry section.  The other end of the space will be storage.  I'd also like to make better use of the "under the stairs" space so that it can be well-utilized for Christmas decorations, freeing up a bit more room in the storage section.  


In addition to better defining spaces, we plan to paint the room to brighten it up.  The room is so dark that it's hard to check clothing for stains, even with all of the lights on.  Once some painting is done, I'll post more pictures of the transformation.



Sunday, July 22, 2012

Happy Birthday

Thirteen years have passed since the birth of my second child and only daughter.  Today was probably the strangest birthday we've celebrated with our children.  For Elizabeth, it was great!  She woke early, got ready to go to lunch and shopping with her grandma.  She took some of her money from savings, paired it with birthday money, and bought something expensive that she really wanted.  We went to Saturday evening Mass and one of her friends joined us.  After Mass, we went to the family movie night in the parish center to watch Facing the Giants, and she got to sit with all of her friends.  When we got home, at 10 p.m., I baked her cake.  It's cooling on the rack as I write this post.  We'll enjoy cake tomorrow.

So, why was this birthday so strange for me, the mama?  Well, for starters, Elizabeth woke before me, so I couldn't get my whiteboard birthday card prepared before she woke.  I did sneak in the kitchen later in the morning, but it wasn't quite the same.  I write a special birthday message and draw some little pictures on the kitchen whiteboard for whomever is celebrating his or her day, and it usually stays on the board for a week or more.  The message I wrote made her smile, but to me it felt rushed.

As you might have also noticed, the cake is cooling now.  It won't be frosted until tomorrow, the day after Elizabeth's birthday.  Of course she's not the first child to celebrate her birthday on a different day than her birthday.  I just felt bad that we didn't have a family celebration on the real birthday.

Yesterday, I took her to the mall for new running shoes and a haircut.  I haven't ignored or forgotten her special day, but it still felt anticlimactic--like a grown-up's birthday.  I guess that is the thing.  She's not little any more.  Elizabeth is officially a teenager.  I remember the day she was born, praying for her during my labor.  When her older brother Michael came to see us at the hospital with Mike the next morning, I remember thinking he was so huge--he was two years old and looked like a giant next to my tiny new baby.  Now they're both teenagers.  People told me so many times to enjoy them while they're little, that time goes by so quickly.  I know it's true, but I have also said that although time does seem to slip by quickly, the pace of our lives seems just right to me--not too fast or too slow.  Sometimes things are hectic, but it really is a sweet life.


Thursday, July 19, 2012

We Remain Hopeful

One of my first grown-up friends when I was a young mother used to frequently say, "And we remain hopeful!"  She gave me a blue frosted glass cross with the word "Hope" etched on it.  I keep that cross on my dresser in my room and see it almost every morning.  I just browsed through my Facebook homepage a minute ago and saw lots of political posts about Obama and the sad state of our country.  In spite of the negative situation of politics and the economy, I am hopeful.  In spite of the drought and inevitable rise in food costs, I remain hopeful.  Our God is a good and gracious Father.  He loves us with an ever lasting love.  He knows the things he has planned for us, and this earth is not our eternal home.  Yes, things are hard and frustrating and discouraging, we must remain faithful and hopeful.

Today, I am going to try to swallow negative words and thoughts and be more of a vision of Christ's Hope in a fallen world.

Have a sweet day!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Tuesday Supper

Monday night, I rushed to bake some bread so Mike could have a sandwich to take for lunch Tuesday.  The bread tastes different, not bad really, but not that good either.  I don't know if I forgot the salt--as I said, I was rushing--or if the wheat is starting to go bad because of the heat.  I am hoping that I forgot the salt.  The bread didn't rise the way it normally does either.  In any case, it was adequate for grilled cheese sandwiches.  Along with the sandwiches, we had collard greens and white turnips sauteed with hot and mild sausage for Tuesday's supper.  Not a bad meal considering there is "nothing to eat" in my house.

We have a CSA farm share this summer in addition to a very thirsty garden during this extended drought (I'm heading out to water shortly).  I picked up the share today and realized I still had a few things to use up from last week.  We are definitely expanding our family's horizons with the vegetables we have been eating.  I have been resisting going to the grocery store, and my family is not thrilled about the lack of "snack" food in the house. I'd love to make the vegetables the snack of choice, but it's difficult since three of the four children will have some form of orthodontic appliances or braces by the end of summer, making crunchy snacks like carrot sticks a bad choice (popped brackets are a very bad thing). I'm recognizing a need for creativity in snack land!  Cucumbers, on the other hand, are an excellent choice because they're soft enough in their raw state for everyone to eat safely, and everyone in my family actually likes them.  

Wednesday morning, I will finally break down and go to the grocery store to stock-up.  We are out of milk, half and half (my guilty pleasure), cheese, and meat (unless you count pepperoni as meat).  We are completely out of pasta, which is not good in a house full of runners.  We need a bunch of other things, too.  I have been working on menu planning and a grocery list for the past few days. When I have a menu, the days are always easier.  

Summer should be easy, but it hasn't been as relaxed as I would like it to be this year.  The older boys are working at a community garden a few mornings a week and we've had a number of doctor, dental, and orthodontic appointments to work into our days.  Somehow things were a little easier when I had to take four small children with me.  Back then, I knew the next destination and was wise enough to do most out-of-the-house errands before lunch.  Now, with the 11-15 year olds, they have destinations from which they must be dropped off and picked up. Mom doesn't hang out with them everywhere they go anymore, which leads to a lot of back and forth and not-quite-enough-time to do the things at home that I'd like to do.  FlyLady would caution me against "perfectionism" and "stinkin' thinkin'" and that's probably true.

Yesterday I had just about 45 minutes before the next dash out the door.  I pondered, "What can I do in 15 minutes?"  I paced around for a few minutes and then realized I had plenty of time to make a batch of pesto with the basil I had trimmed earlier in the week.  I had it in a pretty pink bud vase on the counter, but I was making it wait too long and some of the leaves had lost their freshness and begun to wilt.  I grabbed the last of my almonds, a couple of farm share garlic scapes, some Parmesan cheese, olive oil, and the food processor.  In went the scapes and nuts.  Pulse, pulse.  Next, the basil leaves.  Pulse, pulse, grind (because I'm still praying for patience).  Parmesan cheese and olive oil.  Pulse, pulse, "Oh, it's so pretty!"  I put it in a bowl in the fridge for later this week.  Done, with time to spare!


Next, I refilled the maple syrup bottle that had been sitting on the counter for almost 24 hours.  I bought a gallon of syrup a month or so ago, and the kids would probably love to drown their pancakes, but I help them resist by transferring enough for a meal into a small bottle.  The small bottle makes pouring easier and helps with portion control.  I had plenty of time to tend to that little chore, too.  Still 25 minutes to spare, so I cut up a cabbage and some peppers and mushrooms for tomorrow's salad.  This task made room for the farm share I would be picking up in the evening and helped prepare for another meal.

The boys helped me water the thirsty garden after dinner while Elizabeth and Mike cleaned up the dinner dishes.  When we came in, I sat on the couch to have my coffee.  I read to Tommy, and the other three children were all in the living room with us listening to the story of Jemima Puddle Duck.  It was a cozy moment that brought a sweet end to a hectic day.


Friday, July 13, 2012

Please Lord, Send Some Rain!

This week in the evenings after dinner and coffee with Mike, I've spent a lot of time in the garden, watering.  I have two 50 gallon rain barrels that have been empty for weeks.  I've been using the garden hose to keep my rather ambitious urban garden moist and happy in this urban desert.  The summer heat has encouraged the plants to grow tremendously over the past five or six weeks. Here are a few before (early June) and after (mid-July) shots of the garden.
Baby Sunflowers, squash, peas, and tomatoes
with volunteer marigolds.
Sunflowers and their friends, not so tiny now!


Raised beds, flourishing!

Transplants of eggplant and peppers--back
right corner of raised bed area.




I picked the last of the shelling peas this week and will clear out the snap peas today.  The basil plants were huge, so I trimmed them back and put the lovely stalks in water to use for pesto for dinner.  I fear that if I'd left them in the blistering sun another day they surely would have bolted and flowered.  I also noticed that some of the other herbs could use a trim, so I decided to make some sun tea from chocolate mint, lemon verbena, lavender, raspberry leaf, and strawberry leaf.  The fragrance was intoxicating when I removed the lid in the evening after letting it brew all day on the sunny back steps.  I haven't sipped it just yet, as it was chilling in the fridge over night.

We're expecting a few more dry days with temperatures in the 90s.  The grass, which was so very green in June is now the color of the straw between the raised beds and in the tee-pee garden.  I'm glad we don't need to mow, but it's a little heartbreaking to hear clover and grass crunch under my feet as I haul water to the garden beds throughout the yard.  We shouldn't be surprised.  We often have a drought this time in July.  However, we had a  drought in April or May as well, and I know many areas around the country are suffering.  Water bills will be high.  Food prices will skyrocket.  I take the weather as the Lord sends it, knowing it's a reminder that "all good giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no alteration or shadow caused by change" (James 1:17, NAB).  If it is for our benefit, the rains will come and water the earth.  In the meantime, I thank God for the sweet gifts of running water and arms strong enough to carry water to the plants.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Maybe I Have A.D.D.

A year or two ago, I called my mom to ask her if she thought I had A.D.D.  She laughed at me and said, "No."  She thinks I just have too many things going on--four children, two cats, husband, job, garden, etc.  However, I get the impression that her idea of Attention Deficit Disorder includes the Hyperactive trait.  I may not be a severe case, but I am very easily distracted and have a hard time keeping my attention focused on brain work, like grading papers.  I tell everyone I love my job, and it's true; however, grading essays makes me sleepy.  Physical work is a different story.  I could pull weeds or cook for 8 hours straight as long as I had water and snacks to keep my energy up, but give me a batch of essays to grade and it's like a sleeping pill! The papers are good papers--quite interesting, actually. The problem is me.   


I need projects to keep me motivated.  If I don't have a project, I seem to flounder.  Last year I painted the kitchen cabinets.  I was motivated and driven to complete the project.  I had something physical to show for it when I was done.  For some reason, paid mental work doesn't motivate me to keep working with the same gusto.


I have had more alone hours than usual this week because the kids are at a summer day program at the Church from 9-2.  My plan was to get caught up with grading and prepare for my fall course.  I have done a good bit of grading, but I'm still not caught up.  I have communicated with the bookstore and the book rep. about the text I plan to use this fall, but I haven't written assignments or read the text.  I have done things that were part of the plan for the week, but not as much as I'd hoped to have done by today.  The quiet house mainly reminded me how easily I am distracted.  When I started reading an essay, it would make me think of something else, so I'd do a quick search on that topic.  That's the problem.  I think about too many things, and Google is always ready to help.  


So far today, I've done the following: dropped the kids off at the church, baked a chocolate zucchini cake, went to Mass, baked bread (three part process from scratch), washed a load of laundry, hung it outside to dry,  read some job postings, started a batch of yogurt, washed the dishes, folded and put the laundry away, called the orthodontist, frosted the cake, graded 4 or 5 essays, talked to the bookstore, checked email, and ate lunch plus two handfuls of chocolate chips (because they're good for me!), then met the kids at our friends' house and brought their suits so they could swim.  We got home about 4:15.  I feel like I've accomplished nothing today because I still have 11 essays to grade.  What's the answer?  I know I did a lot today, but those essays are hanging over my neck like the blade of the guillotine.    And now I'm writing a blog post....    


I don't want to be sarcastic or crabby or whiny.  I just want to be done with those essays--but I need to go for a 5-mile run because it's on the training schedule! Maybe after the run and dinner and a nice iced coffee this evening, I will have the sweet clarity and focus to get the grading done so tomorrow can be a day of planning for the fall course.







Saturday, July 7, 2012

Garage Sale, Day 2

What a week!  I'm so glad we're done with the sale part.  I didn't make a tremendous amount of money, but I earned enough to pay all of the children a little for their help and to buy some groceries.  Best of all, some of the large items sold and I reduced the clutter in the house.  I call that success!

A couple of larger items I had hoped to sell did not go to a new home, so I will need to decide which can be donated and which I should try to sell through Craig's List or another tag sale later in the summer.

Next week the kids will be at a day camp all week, so I will be working in a quiet house. Last year was the first time I had a week alone in the house since my 15 year old was born.  I painted the kitchen cabinets while they were gone. My number one project this year is preparing for my fall course.  I would prefer to focus on the laundry room, which has less junk in it than it did last week, but my paying job at the community college must be the priority!  I will be using a new textbook and developing a whole new online course for September.  I'm excited and somewhat apprehensive at the prospect.  I really liked my old text.  I found that the students responded very well to the tone and content of the book.  I know, however, that it's time for a change and that it will be good for the students to have an up-to-date book that features the latest research and documentation techniques.  The old book is almost 10 years old, which is a lifetime in terms of technological advances for research.  A quiet house will afford me time to delve into the book, plan assignments, and start laying out the online components of the course.

I was so impressed with the children this weekend.  The 11 year old boys were a tremendous help, and they were both eager to do whatever needed doing.  The teenagers took care of the small children, gave adults breaks from watching the cash drawer and checking out customers, and moved large objects as needed.  In spite of the awful heat yesterday and the fact that we started today already fatigued, the children gave a great deal of loving service to our venture.  The mommies with infants are heroes--and so are the babies.  It was a challenge to keep the little ones content when all they wanted was mama's attention.  My kiddos are bigger, but by the end of the day, they had clearly had enough sunshine, fresh air, and togetherness for the past few days.  We were ready to go home, get showers, and go to the Saturday Youth Mass.

Since my daughter is in the music ministry we needed to get to the church early for practice.  We took two cars.  The older two children went with me, and Mike met us a bit later.  We were nice and early, so there was time for confession before Mass.  I'm so glad I went and received the graces of the sacrament before Mass.  I'm not sure if I had big circles under my eyes, but the priest gave me an unusual penance--to rest tomorrow on the Sabbath.  I know that the priest acts In Persona Christi, but I am always a little surprised when I don't say something specific, but the advice offered in confession is tailored to my specific needs.  Father talked about the importance of the triangle of "Mind-Body-Spirit" and how the needs of each must be met for balance in our lives.  I have been sleep deprived and not eating as well the past few days, so I really needed the Mind-Body-Spirit talk!  I've heard of the connection between Mind-Body-Spirit, but Father's explanation gave such clarity and practicality to the idea.

I know I have many things I would like to do tonight and tomorrow morning.  At the moment, though, the best thing I can do is get started on my penance.  My eyes are heavy and I need to simply give in to sweet sleep.


Friday, July 6, 2012

Garage Sale, Day 1

The first day of the garage sale was fairly successful in spite of the hot, humid day.  We started the day with prayer, asking for God's blessing and protection on all involved--customers, moms, children. Those few minutes of prayer were very powerful.  Four of us simply stood in a circle together and asked the Lord for His blessing on the day.  I was feeling hot, tired, and anxious before the prayer, but peace and joy replaced those emotions with our moments of prayer.  A customer walked up as we concluded the prayer.  He asked if we were praying, and I told him "Yes, and we were praying for you!"  He gave Jesus glory as soon as he heard my remark.

 We didn't make "Big Bucks" today, but everyone sold at least one item.We hope that God's will is for many more things to sell tomorrow so we can continue the simplicity and decluttering processes in our homes.  We do not want to bring the items back into the houses!!

As I mentioned yesterday, today is my wedding anniversary.  Mike and I are going to Sal's Bakery and Cafe for dinner.  Sal is a wonderful Catholic young man who serves in the Army National Guard and who earned an MA in theology from St. John's Seminary.  He hosts Catholic Coffee and Conversations bi-weekly.  On this feast of St. Maria Goretti, I thought it would be nice to go to a locally owned Italian cafe.

Today's post will be short and sweet.  Stay cool if it's hot where you live!!


Thursday, July 5, 2012

Prepping for the Garage Sale

Sporting Goods and Household, to your left!
Wow--what a busy day!  We were setting up and pricing items for the garage sale all day today.  Three families--lots of books, toys, clothing, and STUFF!  Between us, we have 15 children, so it was a challenge to keep moving and working when kids had questions and needs to tend to, but the bigger kids (ages 11-17) were a tremendous help, especially with my friends' infants.



Toys!
We had a pow-wow with the children at the beginning of our work session. I gave a little speech (because I like to do those sort of things--talk loud, be the center of attention for a moment).  I told the kids how much we needed their help to make this weekend successful and that they would have jobs to do--and that we would be paying them based on the success of the sale!  They seemed a little more enthusiastic after that, though they had all been helping already.  We're fairly well-organized and ready for the weekend.  We've put ads in a local paper, on Craig's List, and on Facebook.  Between us, we have some pretty nice things for sale.  My friend lives on a busy corner with lots of traffic.  I'm very hopeful that the days will be successful, which will be measured in dollars as well as reduced clutter in our homes.  We have things set up as a mini department store.  We have signs for the following departments: Book Barn (in the garage), Sporting Goods, Household, Clothing, and Toys.  The children are planning a lemonade stand.

Tiny sampling of the books for sale
On the fitness front, Elizabeth and I did "speed work" at the track tonight.  Mike coached Elizabeth on sprints while I did some interval work on my own.  It was hot, and I didn't want to run after working all day with the setup.  However, I stopped whining and got to work. Those were 4 tough miles, plus I missed running with my girl two times this week.  We have a short run on the schedule for tomorrow, so we'll get to chat a bit.  I have valued our runs so much as a way to get closer with my daughter, and it seems like last Sunday's long run was a month ago.

In other news, tomorrow is our anniversary!  Mike and I have been married for 16 years.  Life hasn't always been easy for those 16 years, but he has made it a joy and a blessing.  I had a friend tell me when I was single that one of the most important things a person can do to have a good life is to "marry well."  I didn't really understand how true that idea is.  Over the years I've met people who struggle in their marriages, resent their spouses, suffer through divorces, etc.  Our relationship is human, and as a result it is not perfect.  But at the end of the day, we love one another deeply and genuinely.  We're in it together for the long haul!  I pray that others can have such a blessed marriage.  We are partners, lovers, and friends.  We are the parents, together, of four fabulous children.  Most importantly, we are two who became one in the Sacrament of Marriage.  Scott and Kimberly Hahn write and speak about marriage as a Covenant--not as a contract as society defines generally marriage.

In a society that is suffering on so many fronts, the center of a majority of our problems is the brokenness of the family.  I don't have the solution, but I know that a majority of couples who share their faith (obviously my preference is Catholicism, but couples of one faith background can be more centered in their overall relationship with one another and with God) and give themselves in open love to one another are a lot happier than the general population.

Have a sweet day!



Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Making Progress with the Decluttering!

Mental wanderings....

My friend is hosting a multi-family garage sale on Friday, so I'm making some progress with the decluttering. I delivered some large pieces to her house this afternoon.  The children are all contributing toys and games.  I've found a wider path through the laundry room.  (I'll post more pictures soon as the room continues its transformation from a cluttered cave to a bright, cheery, useful space.) So far, I've taken two youth desks, a changing table, a trike, and a nice L.L. Bean Back Pack.  It's so cute--dragonfly pattern.  I wish it was my size! (Stop!!  The clutter must leave.  No emotional attachment to stuff is allowed.) The kitchen counter is full of Barbie dolls and decorative pictures.  I think we'll have a pretty good number of items to contribute to the sale.  And if we make a little money, all the better!

Tomorrow is Independence Day.  I love my country.  I'm grateful for the freedoms we have and I hope they aren't taken away by the current administration.  Mine is not a political blog, but I will say that I would like a little less government and a lot better economy.

My daughter is off to run a summer series youth race.  Last year she did the race every week, but this will be her first time this summer since she had a scheduling conflict with another activity that wrapped up last week.  Her dad took her, so this is the first time she's has run without me in a few months.  I will have to go for my 2-miler when they get home.  I hope she does well--it's rather hot this evening.

I starting putting together a planning notebook yesterday.  I had wanted to do one for years.  I tried the FlyLady method, but I could not seem to make it happen.  The big binder was just too big to carry around, and if I couldn't carry it, I wouldn't use it.  I have been reading Confessions of an Organized Homemaker by Deniece Schofield.  I know that many of the principals in her book are similar to the FlyLady advice.  One chapter suggested using a binder that holds 5.5" x 8.5" paper.  I have been using the Cozi Family Calender and it has worked wonder fully, except when I need to make appointments away from home.  I don't have a smart phone, and I didn't want to manually recreate my calendar that's so thorough in Cozi.  I realized I could sync the Cozi calendar to my Microsoft Outlook calendar on the computer, then print calendar pages for my binder.  Brilliant!  Of course, I could not find reinforced printer paper in  5.5" x 8.5", but Staples cut a ream of printer paper in half and I can three-hole punch it to fit in my pretty new binder.  My printer was acting up a bit yesterday, so printing front to back was a challenge.  However, once I have the planner set up, I'll only need to do a few pages at a time, which won't be a big deal.


So, in a nutshell, I hope to have my planner set up and the laundry room organized by the end of July.  That way systems will be in place before school starts.  





Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Life at the Beach

I often say that my house feels like a beach house. My friend's daughter said one time that our house feels like summer, even in the winter. I live in the city, about two hours from the ocean shore.  I don't have waterfront property.  But it still feels "beachy" to me.  Yesterday was a particularly nice June day.  Temperatures were in the low 70s with mostly gentle breezes.  The winds picked up at points in the day, but overall it was simply pleasant.  Our  house faces east, so when the windows and doors are open, the breezes flow through the house.  My decor is primarily in beige, greens, and blues, which adds to the beach feeling.  It's a ranch-style house, which is similar to many of the beach cottages where my in-laws vacation in Old Lyme, Connecticut.

A few years ago, I wrote an article called "Let Them Come to the Water" that described my experiences with the ocean.  I see God in everything and everyone, but water has a particularly profound connection to our Lord. Perhaps that's my attraction to making our home feel like it's on the beach.

Today, I must bake bread and granola, make more yogurt, and gather items for a garage sale next week.  I'm working on de-cluttering, as I mentioned in my first post.  A few years ago, we stayed in a cottage at the beach I described in "Let Them Come to the Water."  I loved the simplicity of that week.  We had a kitchen with all the basic cookware and dishes.  We ate our meals on the screen-in porch.  We brought along for the week just and a handful of toys and some books to read.  And that was it!  We tidied up every day because we knew we had to leave the house in the same lovely condition in which we found it upon our arrival.  I would like our home to feel like that!  Not empty, but also not cluttered.  Just the essentials.  My desire for our home is that it be a place we and our guests meet God.  If we have too much clutter and stuff, we are lost in the clutter and easily forget to spend time with God.


Oasis in the City
For the next two weeks, Tommy, now almost 7 years old, has swim lessons at a local family-oriented pond club where we are members. The small lake is tucked away from the main road and has a small beach area.  It is our little oasis in the city.  I think of the 11-month-old in my arms, touching the ocean for the first time.  I'm glad his relationship with water is continuing and growing. Swimming is such an important skill, and being out on the water, trusting God will help us stay afloat, is a beautiful way to experience nature. 


After Tommy's swim lessons, we'll come back to our "beach house," hang the towel and suit on the line in the breeze, and come to the table for lunch.  I love the simplicity of our summer at the beach.