Reevaluating My Expectations

I had intended to post to the blog weekly, if not daily.  It's been nearly three weeks since my most recent post.  Why?  I don't want to use the "b" word--busy.  "Busy" is just an overused excuse.

In the past few weeks, my housekeeping has been inadequate, my meal prep has been icky, and my temper...okay, this blog isn't the confessional.  However, I have realized in the past few days (partly because I received the graces of the Sacrament of Reconciliation) that the expectations I have for what I can accomplish on any given day are generally unrealistic.  Also, they tend to be me-driven instead of God-driven.  I made a giant list on the white board this morning and assigned tasks to certain days as I prepare for my family to come visit for my eldest child's Confirmation this Saturday.  The list may be a bit too ambitious, but at least I don't expect to do everything in one day.

Usually, when company is coming, I lose my mind a little bit, in the whole "SHE Perfectionism" that FlyLady talks about so often. I know, we're not supposed to use the "P" word.  I want the house to look nice.  I want the food to taste great.  I want. I want. I want.

Some of the things I want are reasonable and good things to do in preparation for company.  Others are over-the-top.  Do I really need to scrub the kitchen walls and all the windows in the house this week?  I'm not on vacation from work or homeschooling, so I would be taking time from my responsibilities to look good in the eyes of others.   Pride.

Maybe instead of trying to make everything magazine perfect, I can make it comfortable and welcoming.  I can spend a few minutes wiping down the wall near the stove that needs freshening and removing the kitty nose prints from the most obvious spots.  It's not worth the stress of trying to be perfect for people who already know I'm not!  They are coming to visit us, not my house.  As long as the bathroom is clean and we have food to eat, a little clutter in other rooms is easily forgotten!

As I write about the "Martha" preparations (I would have probably been in the kitchen with her), I pause to reflect on the "Mary" preparations--she who had the best part.  I mentioned that I get a little nutty when I'm hosting events.  So, what should I do when that anxious, nutty feeling tugs at my mind and heart?  Pray, of course.  What for? God's will, of course.  How will I know what that is?   By listening with my heart.

I still need to do things to get ready, but the approach should be pure joy.  I don't "have to make cookies." I'm baking because we will be celebrating this weekend--my son will be Confirmed and we'll have a mini family reunion!  We will be part of a larger gathering of friends whose children are also being Confirmed.  We are gathering in love and prayer to celebrate the gifts of the Holy Spirit and His Grace in our children's lives.  Therefore, the work of my hands will be a joy.  The focus for my tasks must be the why and the who--not the quantity of tasks checked off my list.  If I approach the next few days with love, asking God to help me use the Gifts of the Holy Spirit that I received at my own Confirmation, then the things that really need doing will get done.

Most importantly, reevaluating my expectations to reflect God's will in my life instead of fostering my pride will help my whole family "to choose the best part."