My Grandmother's Dress

My 94-year-old grandma is selling her house and moving to a lovely independent living "villa." It's a condo-like duplex with a sun room that overlooks woods and a lake. Grandma loves bird watching, and I imagine many feathered friends will flit outside her new windows this spring and summer. In addition to the beauty of the place, the community atmosphere will give her a chance to make new friends and enjoy activities in the main building while having her independence and privacy at her new home. If she needs more care in the future, assisted living apartments are available.

Last Monday I drove from my home in New England to the Midwest to help my mother (who lives in a neighboring state and had arrived a couple days earlier), grandmother, and aunt. We sorted, packed, and purged items from grandma's home so that she only takes what she really wants and needs to the villa. The house she is selling has lots of storage, which means she had plenty of space to keep everything. I told my husband that I am glad our house doesn't have much storage space because having lots of storage space simply means the storage space gets filled with stuff.

The schnauzer-boxer mix puppy who almost
convinced me to bring her home
from the animal shelter.

From Tuesday through Saturday we gathered, sorted, and purged. Many boxes and bags were delivered to Goodwill. A local hospital had a paper shredding event where we took three or four large boxes. We took a grill and a spreader to the curb and smiled when they disappeared before morning (one woman's trash...). We filled the garage with items for an auctioneer to collect before the big move. We took towels, sheets, and newspapers to an animal shelter. With all we purged, Grandma will still have plenty of her personal items to make the new place feel like home.

I am so proud of my grandma. This decision was very hard for her, but she's been brave. Like most people, she doesn't like change. She was comfortable living in her own home. However, she realized that she honestly couldn't maintain a house on her own anymore. She got choked up several times when she looked at paperwork that mentioned her family and friends who died before her, including all three of her sons. Many memories were stirred up throughout the week as we handled gifts and cards, obituaries and photographs.

As we sorted, my mother and I each took some items that were special or useful to us. Grandma used to do a lot of canning and gardening. I learned those hobbies from her, so I took some of the kitchen and garden tools.

I spent a good bit of time scrubbing and sweeping spaces that had been hard for Grandma to maintain for the past few years since climbing stairs has become difficult, and a bit scary, for her. This "alone time" gave me a chance to reflect. Many families have to go through their loved ones belongings after they pass away. I feel very blessed that we were able to go through the things with Grandma. We got to hear stories of where certain items were purchased (like the full set of Fiesta dishes she and Grandpa bought for $25 when they were first married) or the juice glasses her mother purchased in Florida when they owned a motel in Ft. Lauderdale.

The week also gave me a chance to spend time with my aunt (Grandma's daughter-in-law) who has been a generous caretaker for Grandma for many years. Since Grandma stopped driving about 10 years ago, my aunt has taken her to doctor's appointments, the hairdresser, and the grocery store. She really made it possible for Grandma to live on her own for much longer than she could have otherwise with my mom and I living several hours away in opposite directions. We enjoyed having several meals together in between the cleaning and packing.

Grandma's dress, which is now my dress.

Toward the end of the week, my mother discovered a clothing item in an upstairs room where Grandma's knitting and good linens were stored. Mom held out a long dress which she seemed ready to pop in a Goodwill bag. I grabbed it and held it up to myself. Grandma was about 5'2 before osteoporosis and age shrunk her height to well below 5 feet. I'm about 5'5 and the dress comes to my ankles. I took it downstairs and asked Grandma whose it was. She said it was hers--that she had worn it for bowling banquets. I imagined her 40 or 50 years ago, standing tall in 3" heels wearing her floor-length gown to receive an award at her bowling banquet. Then I went in the bedroom to try on the dress. The dress looks as though it were tailor-made for me. I'll probably wear it with flat sandals rather than high heels, but I will wear it and think of her.

The week went by quickly, but I'm so grateful to have spent the time with my grandma, mom, and aunt as grandma prepares for the next chapter in her life.

Holy Week on the Horizon--Are You Ready?

Wasn't Ash Wednesday just a few days ago? How can it be the Thursday before Palm Sunday? I am not ready for Easter!

I had big plans to read a deep spiritual book and to be more peaceful this Lent. I've read a little bit of the book, but it's weighty and I seem to be interrupted needed whenever I start to read. Or, maybe the problem is that my brain is too crowded right now to focus on the words. Obviously, the peaceful part hasn't been a big success either, except that one day in the garden. 

The past two days, I'd hoped to spend time in the garden, but it's been rather windy, and I have had a number of other excuses reasons for not working outside. April is always a busy month for my family. We have a couple birthdays, Easter, music competitions, and track practice. It seems every time I sit down to write or plan to cook or work in the garden, it's time to get back in the minivan for the next thing on the list.

Ten days remain until Easter Sunday. What can we do to get ready if this Lent wasn't the deep spiritual journey we'd hoped it would be? Here are some suggestions for the remaining days until Easter Sunday:

Thursday: Get to reconciliation.

Friday: Stations of the Cross.

Saturday: Attend a weekday Mass--perhaps try a Latin Mass if one is available in your area.

Sunday: Go to Palm Sunday Mass to begin your celebration of Holy Week. Maybe braid your palms.

Monday: Prepare lovingly for Easter--do laundry, iron, make sure everyone's dress shoes fit. Don't wait until Holy Saturday to prepare your clothing.

Tuesday: Grocery shopping and cookie/bread baking, especially if you're hosting the meal. Again, you don't want to be in the store on Friday or Saturday with everyone who is doing last minute preparations.

Wednesday: Attend a Tenebrae Service or pray an extra rosary.

Thursday: Chrism Mass at a Cathedral and Holy Thursday - Mass of the Lord's Supper.

Friday: Good Friday Service and color Easter eggs. Begin the Divine Mercy Novena.

Saturday: Holy Saturday morning, take Easter food to be blessed. Attend an Easter Vigil Mass where Catechumens are receiving the sacraments.

Sunday: Easter Sunday, Praise God and love the people He has given to you!

If you haven't had the best preparation for Easter during this Lent, it's not too late to give your attention and heart to Our Lord.

For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion, Have Mercy on Us and on the Whole World.

In the Garden I Find Peace

A few weeks ago, I planted seeds for tomatoes, leeks, onions, basil, parsley, peppers, and eggplant. I'm expecting to buy plants for most of those veggies and herbs at local plant sales when I give up hope on my seedlings at the beginning of May.

I'm not being pessimistic here, but realistic.

Tiny tomatoes--I'll feel more confident about their viability once they have a set of "true leaves."

For the past decade, almost every year I have started seedlings indoors only to dump the leggy, dead plants into the compost heap. And yet, each spring I try again, modifying my approach just enough to be hopeful again.  I don't have grow lamps or a green house, so I move trays around the kitchen, trying to find enough light to keep things growing.

Leggy leeks and onions--I haven't given up on them yet!

The trays take up counter space, and probably drive my family a bit crazy. My husband and children are not interested in gardening, and my overzealous planting takes counter space that they would like to use for pouring cereal and making sandwiches.

In those trays, I see potential. I see blossoms in late June and red tomatoes by the end of July. I see onions and leeks next fall. I smell parsley and basil that I will pick just before I use it in a summer supper. I see...a garden!

The weather on this first day of April finally felt like spring here in New England. I went into the garden to empty some compost. We still have some snow and ice on the north-facing side of the fence and near the end of the driveway, but most of the snow has melted. As I walked around the yard, I discovered chives poking through the damp earth and cleaned the dead fronds from the asparagus row. I smiled to find a few spinach seedlings had sprouted in my (new this year) make-shift cold frame.

The sun, warm on my face, shone with the promise that spring indeed has sprung and the time for planting has come. I will be tidying, pruning, and planting for weeks to come, and with a little hope and a lot of prayer, some of my seedlings may actually make it to the garden this year.

Gardening is more than a hobby for me. Of course, I garden to grow healthy food for my family. More importantly, though, I garden because it gives me quiet time in creation with my Creator. In the garden, I find peace.

Heavenly Father, 

Thank you for the gift of creation. Thank you for the birds, bunnies, squirrels, and chipmunks that will disturb my plants and steal my produce. They help me to be humble--and pay my tithes of produce. Thank you for the butterflies and insects that pollinate our plants. Thank you for the rain and the sun that help our plants to grow. Thank you for strong arms and hands to tend the garden. Thank you for a bountiful harvest, if it be your will. Thank you for the opportunity to "work in the vineyard."

Amen.