The Sixth Spiritual Work of Mercy: Bear Wrongs Patiently

Today is the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the First Friday of the month.  The readings were all about repentance and turning back to God.  The deacon gave a beautiful homily about how we are all sinners, concluding with a question about whether each of us is “the one lost sheep” that Jesus is searching to bring back to the fold.

Our homeschool group usually gathers at a local parish for First Friday.  This year we rotated between a few parishes where we were always graciously welcomed.  In years past, a wonderful pastor offered a special Mass for the homeschoolers, but our numbers are smaller now and we have joined in regular weekday Masses at the parishes rather than having a private Mass.  This spring, we attended the parish close to my home where my children and I go to Mass every Friday.  After almost every First Friday Mass, especially last month when we did a May Crowning with all of the children bringing a flower to Mary while singing Marian hymns, a different parishioner would approach us and express delight at the children being present in the church.

The daily communicants tend to sit in the same spots, and are used to seeing me with my children on most Friday mornings. We generally smile and nod to one another before or after Mass.  Today, I noticed a woman I had never seen before when I came into Mass.  She was sitting close to the door where we entered the church.  I wasn’t sure why she stood out to me, but I was very aware of her presence. 

The First Friday gatherings for the homeschoolers have generally included Mass, Adoration, Reconciliation, and fellowship.  Today only two families were available to attend our last First Friday of the school year because of graduations and other scheduling conflicts.  This fact alone made me a bit sad since my eighth grader is heading to high school next year.   I contacted the pastor to let him know we would be a small group and that we wouldn't need the social center for fellowship, but I hoped he would still be available for Reconciliation.  He responded that he would be there.

Before I went to Mass, I was on Facebook where a friend had shared the lists of the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. The sixth Spiritual Work of Mercy—“Bear wrongs patiently.” I made that my status and expressed my opinion that it’s the hardest one!  It’s easy to complain when someone treats us badly. 

At the end of Mass, the deacon exposed the Blessed Sacrament.  On this Solemnity, I felt especially grateful for the gift of Our Eucharistic Lord and devotion to His Sacred Heart.  

We sang “O Salutoris Hostia” (O Saving Victim).  We stayed a visited with Jesus quietly in our pew.  Then we headed over to the back of the side of the church near the confessional (the sanctuary cross-like in structure with three sections facing the altar).  My friend has an energetic two-year-old.  The little one was pacing around behind the pews as we waited for Father to come for confessions.  She said a few things in her little voice, but she wasn't terribly loud or rambunctious.

I approached my friend to let her know Father said he should be available for us when I contacted him yesterday.   Today is a very rainy day in Massachusetts.  We certainly would have gone outside to wait for Father if the weather was fair.  I suggested that maybe we should go out in the hall and wait so the five older children could visit and the toddler could move freely.  Just as we were about to go into the hall, the woman I noticed before Mass, who was sitting in the last pew, turned around and asked us if we were aware that Adoration was going on.  I responded that yes, we were aware.  She chastised us for the commotion and specifically for disturbing her prayer time.  I gently commented that the little one is only two years old. The woman snapped, “Well her mother isn't.” I responded that I was sorry if we had disturbed her, that we were waiting for Father. I held my tongue and didn't say, “Do you even hear what you are saying?” 

I wanted to quote Matthew 19:13-14,

Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away (RSV).

I wanted to tell her about bearing wrongs patiently.

I wanted to ask if she was the lost sheep.

I wanted to tell her that we were just about to go into the hall when she started chastising us.  

Instead, I looked at my friend, one of the kindest, gentlest souls I've ever met, and we quietly left the church and headed out into the rain. 

I said, “I guess she didn’t read the list of Spiritual Works of Mercy, especially about bearing wrongs patiently.  Well, I guess it was meant for me to bear wrongs patiently today.”  Praise God, I was patient with her in spite of the boiling feeling in my chest.

We didn't get to go to confession.  We didn't get to have fellowship.  Our school year ended with wrongs. 

My children were horrified by the behavior of the woman in the church.  They found her to be rude and disruptive. My 13-year-old daughter was visibly upset and told me she was especially sad that the woman talked to our friend that way since “She’s one of the nicest people I know!”  I asked the children if I dealt with the woman kindly.  I’m always afraid that my sarcastic bitter voice will erupt in moments like these.  My children assured me that my words and my tone were kind and appropriate.  I asked the children to be sure to offer an extra prayer for the woman who was clearly upset and needed that time with Jesus this morning.  

Dear Lord,

Bless the woman who was so angry with us this morning.  May her heart be touched with your merciful love.  Heal the wounds inflicted by angry words, especially my angry words in moments that I haven’t “Born wrongs patiently.” Comfort my friend who quietly accepted the stinging verbal attack of a stranger.

Amen.

Source: "Jesus is All I Need" Facebook page.