Why Don't You Just Buy a New House?

My house is not the worst. I know this to be true because I am a Realtor and I've been in lots of houses. Some are much nicer and larger than mine. Some are so full of stuff that mine (at times) looks to be well-organized. Others are so organized that mine looks like hoarders live here. Honestly, though, it's a good house and a great home, but I don't know if it's where I want to retire.

When we bought this little 3-bedroom ranch with a partially finished basement, we had small children aged 8, 6, 4, and "one on the way." That was 13 years ago. Needless to say, I thought we'd live here a few years and then get something bigger. Now that college boy has graduated and landed back at home at least for the short term, something larger seems to be nearly a necessity. However, the house might just be perfect as we approach the empty nest phase in the not-too-distant future.

So, what is the point of this post if we're just planning to stay here? I have been trying to convince my housemates (spouse and children) that decluttering and then organizing will make the space more usable, it will help us be more focused and productive, and it will feel at least a little more spacious.

They aren't buying it. And I'm not buying a new house. Child 3 will be a high school senior next year and child 4 will be in 8th grade. I moved my senior year of high school and promised I would do whatever I could to avoid that scenario for my children. The soonest possible move is a year away.

As a Realtor, I advise clients to declutter as part of preparing their homes for sale. I'm trying to take my own advice in the event that we do sell next year, but I keep hitting road blocks that are mostly in my mind. I purged a lot of junk out of the garage in the past couple weeks, but still can't park in there. I get hung up on little things and turn in circles, accomplishing little. I keep thinking that I should hire someone to help me. Then I think, the children and my husband could certainly help me. But there's always a scheduling conflict or an excuse. No more excuses! 

This is my plan:

1. Finish garage decluttering this week!

When will the car move back into its house?

What is all this stuff?

2. Declutter laundry room, paint walls, replace shelving by end of July

One section of the wall got the white paint in 2012. Why didn't we finish? 

3. Encourage children to do their rooms by mid-August before the new school year
No photos!

4. Declutter, then re-envision the basement common space by the end of summer

Edge of workout space next to everything else. Not working well.

Not comfy.

Too dark for office/study space. Plus it's a mess.

My husband has a couple of days off this week and has agreed to help hang some tools in the garage and organize the shelves. The garage needs to be done so we can move on to the laundry room next.

I looked back and saw my garage project part one and part three, and the laundry room post that started this blog in 2012. My attitude was better then. Trying to recapture that enthusiasm and finally get the job done.

Let's go!

Flowers and Paint

Giant oregano, hostas, sunflowers, and more!

Peppers, tomatoes, and flowers.

Summertime in the city. Every summer I tend to do two things--garden and paint. These jobs tend to be alone or quiet times for me, especially in the garden. I wish someone else in my family would willingly join me to "Play in the dirt!" I haven't spent as much time as I would like in the garden, but I'm hoping to change that trend this week. Painting, though, seems like it will consume many days this summer, the first of which was yesterday, and I have an enthusiastic partner in my daughter.

I had a rather rough winter into spring. I wasn't particularly sick or depressed, but I constantly felt ill-at-ease. I couldn't get moving, and things just felt wrong most days. Now that summer is here, my little world seems to be blooming and joyful again.

Tiny corn and cucumbers--and wild violets.

My vegetable garden is coming along slowly this year. I tried something new--planting in wood chips. Wood chips are supposed to be great for lots of things, including holding moisture and providing nutrients to plants while keeping weeds under control. After a very hot and dry spring, our early summer has been cool and sufficiently rainy. Therefore, my heat-loving plants haven't grown much yet.

Day lily and  coreopsis.

We are expecting a very hot week, though, so things may start to take off and grow quickly now. Although the corn isn't knee high and the 4th of July has come and gone, my flowers seem to be particularly happy this summer!

After the bunnies nibbled away at my beautiful red and white verbena last year (no flowers after I planted them, just lush, stubby green plants), I thought petunias would be a safer bet for some annual color. The petunias are filling in nicely and the perennials are blooming in turn. I hear the goldfinches singing outside my window, so I know they have returned to munch at my sunflowers.

 My teen-aged daughter's room is the current indoor project. She has spent the past couple weeks discarding things that take up space and bring no joy. She had a color in mind for the walls--she calls it "dove." It's a light tannish-grey. We recently purchased some furniture for her room, so I was hoping to keep additional redecorating costs low. I remembered that I had a couple gallons of off-white paint left from my garage project last summer, as well as a tan sample and some dark grey from another project. What did we have to lose? We mixed the paints, and we came up with a custom color with what we had on hand. The best part--it's exactly what she wanted and we spent $0! We had a great time yesterday, listening to 80s pop and painting her room together.

We have painted together before, but this time was the best. Maybe it was because it was her room or because we created the color together. We are both excited to see how everything turns out when the furniture and curtains are all in place. We are already discussing other projects we would like to do together in the house this summer.

Thank you, Lord, for this special time with my daughter and for the resources you've provided to add beauty to our lives. Making things beautiful brings peace and joy to the heart! 
Amen.

Lenten Longing

My cat was missing for a couple hours today. We had contractors doing some work in the bathroom in our basement, and their equipment was quite loud. A few hours after they began working, I realized I hadn't seen the cat all morning. We were afraid he had gotten out of the house because we had looked everywhere we could think of--under beds, in closets, on bookshelves--but we didn't find the cat. I couldn't imagine where he was, but I knew he was certainly scared. He is very skittish when it comes to noises and strangers, and he was dealing with both. The terrified kitty had found a hiding place in a very dark, narrow corner behind the furnace. When we finally realized where he was, it took about 10 minutes of coaxing to get him to come out and join us upstairs, away from the noisy work in the basement.

Curled up safe on Mama's bed.

These days, I feel a little like my anxious cat. I want to simply hide in my quiet corner where nobody can see me. It's been a rough winter. In New England, most folks are happily watching the big melt. The snow drifts still extend several feet into the secondary roads in my neighborhood, but they're much shorter than they were two weeks ago. Driving is much easier with the improved visibility and clearing of the ice ruts, but now the potholes present new challenges. I've been blaming the weather for my melancholy, but the empty feeling I've endured these long dark months hasn't improved much with the longer, warmer days.

The darkness descended upon us in October. During Advent, I was hopeful. By Christmas, I still felt meh.

At New Year's, I made some goals and tried some challenges. I didn't quite achieve as much as I had hoped, and the clean eating thing fell apart a few weeks into the challenge when I neglected the exercise portion. The focus on goals related to food and finance interests me, but it hasn't helped my disposition.

Lent began, and in those first weeks I was reading a spiritual book and going to a discussion group at church. Again, I was hopeful that my mood would improve. The spiritual boost from the book seemed to be transforming me as my daily focus started to shift: "Our lives change when our habits change" (Matthew Kelly). Alas, one of the February book discussion events was cancelled due to a pending snowstorm, and the next discussion meeting was a month away. I stopped reading and stopped changing my habits. The meh feeling came back full force.

I don't want to have a self-hosted pity party. I don't want my readers to feel sorry for me. I want to find the holiness God wants for me. I want to stop hiding and start living.

How? How can I let God in and listen to his voice? How do I let God coax me out of my dark, quiet hiding place?

I suppose the first step is to go back to the book, to Rediscover Catholicism. My faith is the reason for so much of what forms me, and yet I'm not really living as the "best version of myself" as Matthew Kelly says.

Lord Jesus,

Send your Holy Spirit to guide me during the final weeks of Lent. Help me prepare to receive you with true Easter Joy.

Amen.

Nearing the End of the Shortest and Toughest Month

Tomorrow is February 28. We've had a particularly long, cold, and snowy winter this year. Based on the height of the snow drifts, I don't imagine all of the snow will melt away before April. That's okay. It will be March on Sunday! It's still cold, but the sun is shining, and with the time change making sunset an hour later next weekend, it will be easier to believe that spring will really come again.

We won't be sitting on these benches for a while!

In my circle of homeschooling friends, the longstanding advice is to "avoid making any important decisions in February" if at all possible. I believe that our brains need warmth and sunshine, and perhaps a week or two of Lent, for the clarity required for good decision-making. In February, we are more than half-way through the school year, and more-than-half-ready to throw in the towel on days where it seems that sending the kids to school may be the better choice for everyone's sanity (except for the school teachers who already have enough work to do without adding a new student mid-year).

Well, to all you homeschoolers out there, we made it! February is almost over. I have to admit that I did not make it through the whole month without losing my patience on more than one occasion.

Physical education and home maintenance classes=shoveling the driveway, again and again.

I have been struggling with several things lately, none of them life-threatening or anything, just "stuff." I felt down, but I didn't know why. I stopped doing things I used to enjoy immensely, and again, I wasn't sure why. It was not to the point of medical depression, but it seemed to be heading in that direction. Part of the problem, I know, is the cold. I really don't enjoy winter. I know many people truly suffer in the cold and the snow--the homeless, those who cannot afford the high cost of heating bills, the elderly and disabled individuals whose travel is seriously impeded by poorly cleared walks and parking lots. I feel guilty about complaining when I think of others who are truly suffering. 

The twigs behind the mailbox are the top of a mostly-buried crabapple tree.

What can I do instead of complaining and becoming impatient? As a Christmas gift to the parish, every family at our church was offered a copy of Matthew Kelly's Rediscover Catholicism. One phrase that Kelly repeats throughout the book has made a deep impression on me in the past month: "Our lives change when our habits change." I realize that I have little control over the road conditions or air temperature. What I can control, however, are my habits.

One bad habit I recognized in my life was procrastination, a.k.a. work avoidance. I would find many interesting or seemingly important things to keep me from grading papers or prepping lessons. Then, I'd wonder why my children weren't mastering math concepts. As Kelly says, "Our lives change when our habits change," and I realized this month that I have some changing to do. To begin, I have been pulling myself away from the internet and getting things done. I've done a better job meal planning this month--and I kept the budget under $500 for the first time in a long time, and we ate quite well. (Last month I spent about $700 on groceries.)

I realize I can't attempt to change too much at once, or I will be destined to fail and to quit trying. I have been working on simple and attainable goals. For instance, I focused on staying within my grocery budget, and it worked.

The second change this month is two-fold. Instead of wasting time searching for recipes and decorating ideas online, I've been reading books (like Rediscover Catholicism) and getting work done for our homeschool and for my outside teaching job.

I'm still working on better time management and will continue to work on the meal planning/budget stuff. For March, though, I have some other habits I plan to change. I know that if I say it here, it will motivate me, just like the food budget post motivated me this month.

I'm not a patient person. There, I said it. I keep wondering what I need to do to become more patient. I know, I know: "Pray for patience." I get that part, but Rediscovering Catholicism and Three Moments of the Day: Praying with the Heart of Jesus by Christopher S. Collins, S.J. (the book my women's Bible study is currently reading) have helped me recognize that I have all the tools I need. I just need to use the tools. Kelly's chapter about the rosary reminded me that when I was regularly praying the rosary and running, I was more peaceful. Fr. Collins reminds us that God sees us as his "beloved sons and daughters with whom he is well pleased" even when we aren't all that lovable. I can't sit around complaining that I'm impatient, thinking that I'm a lost cause. God knows what I need. If my heart is open and ready to receive his grace, I will find the peace and patience I desire.

So, by March 31, my hope is to report the following: Lent is going great and I'm ready for Holy Week, I've coninued with the spirtual reading, I'm staying in budget for groceries, and the Rosary Runner is back to work.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the many blessings in my life--my family, my friends, my students. 

You meet all of my needs. Without you, I am nothing. 

With you, I have everything.

You are all-good, all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving.

Help me to know your love and show your love.

Bless all who read this prayer. You know their hearts and their needs. 

Help them to have the grace to seek you in their lives.

In this Holy Season of Lent, help us to recognize the greatest gift,  

your Son and Our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Amen.

How I Feed a Family of Five or Six on $700 (way too much) per Month

Buy fancy food ingredients that I saw on the eating healthy blog. Put said ingredients in the pantry. Look at them every few weeks and think about how I should use them some time.

Go to the store twice a week when I forget important items (read: bread).

Spoil children with potato chips, marshmallow cereal, and frozen waffles. Wonder why they won't eat fruit and salad without nagging.

Buy lots of produce, especially blueberries from Chili because...I. Need. Summer. Now. Hope that someone other than me and youngest child will eat some of the berries because they are a "super food." Then secretly hope nobody else will touch our precious blueberries.

Buy some more produce, especially salad and soup ingredients. I'm the only person in the house who likes soup (college boy likes soup, but he's in college eating their food). 

Buy frozen fruit for "yummy" smoothies that nobody except me likes. Cry inside because I just want to help them be healthy. Why don't they like ginger in their smoothies?

Realize that I won't really bake bread this week, even though I have 70 lbs. of oats and at least 18 lbs. of flour on hand. Buy some bread. Feel guilty for not baking bread, then throw some grinder rolls in the cart. Dinner will be meatball subs to use up the meatballs I made from the grass-fed organic beef I bought last week.

Buy more grass-fed organic beef. 

Buy capers, Kalamata olives, chia seeds, and hemp seeds.

Buy sesame seeds to make tahini in my fancy new blender. Think about making it for a month. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow.

Buy hazelnuts to make hazelnut spread. Watch 10 videos about how to shell them. Think about shelling them for a month. Maybe I'll shell and roast those tomorrow, too.

Buy bags of dried beans. Actually cook the beans in the slow cooker and realize they are delicious, particularly in comparison to canned beans.

Save money by making my own slow-cooker yogurt and granola.

This week, I read a few blogs about families who spend less than $250 per month on groceries. How??? Well, they raise chickens, which is huge! I cannot raise chickens--not allowed in the city. They have successful gardens and put back food. They shop at Aldi. I do that! They meal plan. I do that sometimes. 

There's the problem! I probably cannot realistically get to a $250 per month goal in the winter time in New England, but I can do better than $700. 

I meal-planned for next week based on my pantry inventory. I will be working in some of those fancy food ingredients from the pantry. February starts in a couple days. Let's see how much under $700 I can get the grocery budget!

Heavenly Father,

You've blessed us abundantly. Thank you for your many blessings. Help me to make better use of the resources of food and money. Help me to nourish my family and friends with good foods. Help me to use financial resources to your glory, Lord. 

Amen.

Challenges in the New Year

For me, every week is like a new year. I'm always thinking about how to improve myself and my home. It's honestly a bit of an obsession. Lately, I've been reading lots of "How to Get Organized" books. I take them with me to read while waiting for appointments and joke about how I keep reading these books, but I am still not organized. One piece of advice in the latest book was to stick with a project until its completion. As I look at my very-close-to-clean desk, I wonder why I quit before I finished. In five minutes, the job that has been looming for the past month could finally be crossed off the to-do list. Two more piles, and done, Instead, I have been reading blogs about New Year's challenges, and now I'm writing my own post.

Two challenges are on my radar: The Frual Fresh Start Challenge at SixFiguresUnder.com and the Clean Cuisine 8-Week Challenge. Financial and physical fitness are both very important to me.

All of the challenges have one theme in common, goal setting. I'm very good at dreaming up how I'd like things to look or feel or be. However, I am not quite as good at setting attainable goals with benchmarks to keep me on target for success.

I wrote some goals in a notebook today. The notebook has a page in it with my "five-year goals" from 2009. My goals were lofty and unattained--but inspiring all the same. This time, I'm starting with a six-month goal in response to Stephanie's suggestion for Day 1.  In terms of the financial goals, one is to save for a trip in June to visit my grandma. Another is to pay off a student loan this year. My fitness and health goals are to exercise a minimum of four times per week with a specific focus on strength training and flexibility to alleviate knee pain. Once I've met that goal, I can begin training for a spring or fall half marathon (a distance I claimed to be done running, but I think I need to do just one more!).

All of my current goals are realistic, attainable, and measurable, essential characteristics of worthwhile goals.

I need to start supper in about 10 minutes. That means I have plenty of time to finish cleaning my desk.

What are your goals for the New Year? I'd love to hear from you!

Regrouping on a Wednesday Morning

In the Veggie Tales "classic" Josh and the Big Wall,

the Israelites have come to claim the land of Jericho following the plan revealed to Joshua by an angel of the Lord. As the Israelites walk around the city, the People of Jericho mock them, their plan, and their God. Jimmy Gourd says that he and the other "Israelites" should "fall back and regroup" after the People of Jericho (i.e., the French Peas) throw slushies on their heads. Jimmy and Jerry Gourd then plan to develop a "better way" to knock the wall down--one that won't involve humiliation and obedience, a rocket called "The Wallminator 3000" which will blast through the wall. Joshua urges Jimmy and the other Israelites to continue day after day with the original plan, and eventually, the walls come crumbling down because they did it God's way.

I often feel like Jimmy Gourd--with a figurative slushy dripping on my face and my best plans falling apart in front of me. I keep thinking, if I develop the perfect plan, like the "Wallminator 3000," I will get all of my work done, do a great job homeschooling my children, have a beautiful, well-organized home, and complete the decorating and shopping all before December 24. Are these goals worthwhile? More importantly, are these plans how God wants me to spend my time?

I pray every day, but do I really listen? I praise, thank, and petition the Lord, but maybe I'm just a "clanging gong." What is God's plan for me? I read a blog this morning about the Blessed Mother's total surrender to the Lord. Mary stopped everything to listen to God's plan for her. Mary's fiat, her total, selfless "yes" to God, is the model of holiness. I realize that I can't say yes if I don't know what is being asked of me. Of course, I don't expect Gabriel to pop in and sit with me at the kitchen table to tell me over tea what the Lord is asking of me. So, how can I surrender to God's will?

Jimmy Gourd's idea to "fall back and regroup" isn't a bad plan. The problem is that he wanted a better plan than God's plan. Wednesdays tend to be a good time for me to regroup, to consider what is being asked of me and to move forward with focus and direction. How is the week going so far? Are we as a family on track with the things we hope to accomplish before the weekend? Most importantly, though, have I put God first in my plans?

Heavenly Father, 

You have given me so many gifts. For those I thank you and praise you.
Send your Holy Spirit to guide me.
Give me wisdom, understanding, knowledge, and counsel to recognize your will.
Give me piety, fortitude, and fear of the Lord that I may surrender to your will each day. 

Amen.

"O Mary Conceived without Sin, Pray for Us Who Have Recourse to Thee"

When I was in middle school, our church had a girl's sodality devoted to the Blessed Mother. New members were inducted on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception and given a Miraculous Medal on a long powder blue cord. I must have been 11 or 12 years old. I remember we went to church on a cold December weekday at night, which was unusual. I was already thinking about Christmas. I didn't realize the significance of the Marian feast that day, but I held onto the medal. I kept it in a special place with things I'd received for my First Communion, but I didn't understand what the words meant or that I should actually wear the medal and not keep it tucked away!

As my faith grew in my early adulthood, I learned more about the Miraculous Medal and began to wear mine regularly. All of my children teethed on the medal. The cord split. Since the cord was so long, I was able to knot it and still get it easily over my head to continue wearing it. 

This Monday is a Holy Day of Obligation, the Immaculate Conception. The words on the Miraculous Medal capture the essence of the Holy Day, "O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee." Many people misunderstand the dogma of the Immaculate Conception. The most common misconception is that the Immaculate Conception is the Annunciation (which is celebrated March 25) and the Virgin Birth. However, on December 8, we celebrate the conception of Mary in her mother Anne’s womb nine months before we celebrate the birth of Mary on September 8. Because she would bear the Christ, the Son of God, the Lord preserved her from the stain of Original Sin from the moment of her Conception. This Holy Vessel, this Living Tabernacle who would carry her Lord within her own human body must not be stained with sin. Mary, most holy and pure—Full of Grace, as the Angel Gabriel greeted her in Luke 1:28—God’s own mother must be Immaculate from the moment of her conception. And so, on December 8, we celebrate the tiny baby, Mary, in her mother’s womb who would later say “Yes” to God, no matter the cost. 

The Church invites us to know Mary, to love and honor her as our own mother. Mary suffered deeply. Her betrothed initially thought she was an adulterer and planned to divorce her (of course, in a dream the Angel helped Joseph recognize he could trust his wife). She birthed her baby in a dirty stable. She had to flee with a newborn to Egypt so he wouldn’t be slaughtered. At the Presentation, Simeon told her that her heart would be pierced with a sword. She was at the foot of the Cross when God’s own son paid for our guilt. 

When the pains you endure in this daily life are too much to bear, know that our Mother Mary intimately understands our human sufferings. She will console you.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women, 
and Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, 
Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Suffering and Redemption in the Season of Comfort and Joy

On this December Saturday morning, I woke to a quiet house at 5 a.m. No alarm. Nowhere to be. Just wide awake. It's like this most Saturdays. Some people might desire to sleep in, but not me. I love my quiet Saturday mornings. I have time to reflect on my devotional readings, prepare for the Sunday liturgy, and to contemplate what the Lord is asking of me in the coming week.

Each day, I pray for the souls in Purgatory and then read a magazine called Magnificat. If you are looking to grow in your faith, Magnificat is a great place to start! Magnificat features the daily Mass readings, morning and evening prayer, and some fantastic reflections each day. Today, I read a reflection by Heather King about Venerable Elisabeth Leseur (Leseur's writing is also often featured in Magnificat). Leseur's husband became an avowed atheist "shortly before their 1889 wedding." She had been a "conventional" Catholic up until then, but she was strengthened in her faith as a result of the mocking of her faith from her "husband, whom she deeply loved," and his friends. She quietly suffered this "hidden form of mortification," being charitable, friendly, and loving to those who persecuted her faith. She died in her forties of breast cancer. Her husband discovered her writings and journals upon her death and recognized the redemption in her suffering. Felix Leseur not only converted, but became a Dominican priest—something she had prayed would happen for him upon her passing.

Why did Elisabeth Leseur have to die young and suffer physically from cancer? Why did she have to suffer emotionally and spiritually in a marriage to a man who had turned completely away from God? Some may see her life as tragic. I see it as heroic and grace-filled. She did not wallow in self-pity. She used her suffering for redemption. Her cause for canonization is moving forward, and her words draw others to Christ a century after her death.

Why must human beings suffer? The somewhat unsatisfying answer is Original Sin. Which leads to a big question: Why did Jesus have to die? 

Youth at our parish discussed this big question at a recent confirmation class. The short answer is that Jesus died because we need a redeemer. We cannot save ourselves, but we must be saved by one like us in all ways but sin. We wonder, though, if Jesus already died for us, why do we still have to suffer in this life on earth? I don't claim to be a mystical theologian with the insight to answer these questions satisfactorily, but I will share what I understand through faith.

We all bear many different crosses in this life. Sometimes life does not seem fair, like when a child dies, when someone gets a terrible disease, or when innocent victims suffer at the hands of criminals or unjust governments. God wills only good things. But free will and temptations mean that sin happens. Our fallen humanity is subject to disease and pain.Through these trials, we must remember, God’s ways are not our ways—we have no idea the joy the Lord has in store for us if we are faithful to him. Our human minds cannot comprehend the depth of his love. God understands the deepest suffering--what it is to lose a child. He, too, lost a son—a son who was without sin, yet he suffered for the sins of all the world. The short film Most (The Bridge) (See a portion of the film here), based on a true story, captures the idea in a way that my simple words cannot do justice. A father must make a decision that means either the life of his son or the lives of hundreds of passengers on a train. 

God's son, Jesus, died for all humanity. His suffering was so intense that his sweat was drops of blood in the Garden of Gethsemanie as he prayed to God, knowing the weight of the sins of humanity from all time, preparing to carry those sins under the weight of the Cross. Jesus did not will evil, but he accepted the suffering which results from the evil in the world so he could wash the world clean and give us a chance at eternity with God.

During this second week of Advent, our minds may be seeking "tidings of comfort and joy" rather than the Lenten call to repentance. Without repentance, though, we cannot experience true comfort and joy, as we see in this Sunday's readings. Isaiah 40 begins: "Comfort, give comfort to my people, says your God." The Psalm 85 response implores: "Lord, let us see your kindness, and grant us your slavation." Peter 3 reminds us, "The Lord does not delay his promise as some regard "delay," but he is patient with you, not wishing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance." And finally, the first chapter of the Gospel of Mark begins with John the Baptist preparing the way of the Lord, "proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins."

As Christmas draws near, we must recall that the Passion and the Resurrection are the reason for Jesus' birth. 

During this Second Week of Advent, as we "Prepare the Way of the Lord," we might reflect on this verse from "What Child Is This?" 

Why lies He in such mean estate,
Where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christians, fear, for sinners here
The silent Word is pleading.

Nails, spear shall pierce Him through,
The cross be borne for me, for you.
Hail, hail the Word made flesh,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.

31 Days to Improve My Domestic Church

I predicted (self-fulfilling negative prophecy?) on November 1 that in spite of my desire to write a novel in November that it would probably not happen.

I did write for a few days. I'm actually kind of excited about the story. Somehow, though November wouldn't let me win.

I'm not discouraged. I discovered other things during November. I read a book about laziness being a myth which highlighted methods for helping different types of learners. I'm homeschooling my two youngest sons, and their learning styles are extremely different from one another. Likewise, I have my own struggles with staying on task and finishing projects (as noted above!). This book helped me understand us all a little better. I need to find ways to capitalize on our strengths and use different tools to keep us on task than I needed for my older children.

In November, I also came to terms with other things about my work and my home management. I cannot do everything, but with a change in my approach and attitude, I can accomplish much more than I have recently.

What does December hold for us? With the beginning of Advent, we are shifting gears to "Prepare the Way of the Lord." We are at the beginning of a new liturgical year. I plan to make my New Year's Resolutions now instead of in January.

In what became my planning month of November, I researched blogs and books about organization and time management. I often think, "If only I can get things in order, everything else will be easier. Living Well Spending Less features a "31 Days" category for a month of changes--reducing clutter, stress, and spending. Since December has 31 days, it seems like an invitation to reduce stress and make things less scattered in my domestic church.

Today, December 1, I inventoried my pantry/freezer inventory and prepared a two-week menu plan with what's on-hand. I won't need much from the grocery store to get us through the next two weeks. Just about every organizing blog will tell you that if you know what's for dinner, everything else about the day is easier. In the past, I've planned a month at a time. Grocery shopping and meal prep were never a problem. Somehow, though, I got out of the habit, and things fell apart over the past year.

With meal-planning under control, I can focus on other things, like teaching, grading papers, and most importantly, celebrating Advent in a peaceful, prayerful manner.

Tomorrow will be Day 2. The focus will be time management, making intentional decisions about how to spend the minutes and hours God grants us, rather than floating aimlessly through the day. I'm guessing the task will be a challenge that won't be accomplished on the first try, particularly with my A.D.D. personality.

Heavenly Father, 

You have given us the gift of time. I struggle to make good use of that gift each day. Help me this Advent Season to more fully appreciate the minutes and hours you have given me, and to use my time to better serve you.

Your Son, Jesus Christ, came as a little child to be the Savior of the World. Help me to also see Jesus in the children you have entrusted to my care. 

Amen.

Once Upon a Time, A Writer Tried Again and Again, but Got Distracted

Today is November 1, 2014. For some, it's the day after Halloween--a time for sugar overload. For others, it's All Saints' Day--a time to remember the saints who've gone to their eternal reward. They lived their lives in service of the Lord, and they get to spend eternity with Him. Tomorrow, November 2, is All Souls' Day. On this day, we remember all the faithful who have died (especially in the past 12 months), but who may be spending some time in Purgatory to be made pure before entering into the presence of the Almighty God.  Finally, on a heavier, lighter note, it's the beginning of another National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Heavier and lighter? Yes. "Winning" NaNoWriMo has been a goal of mine for about 7 years now. However, I've never stuck with it for the whole month of November (heavy: I failed). I've never "won" the challenge of writing 50,000 words over the course of the month of November. NaNoWriMo should be fun (light: do something for the fun and challenge of it), and if I don't win, it's not of much consequence to my time in eternity. What will this November hold for me?

During my prayers this morning, I reflected on the past month. October was a little bumpy for me this year. Car and appliance repairs, school work not getting done, a mini bout with depression, three family medical emergencies in one week (none life-threatening), and other little stressors. I'm happy for a new month, even though November generally brings its own yuck with the time change and sundown coming before the evening rush hour (sunset tomorrow is 4:42, and it's going to get earlier and earlier until the Winter Solstice). For anyone who suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, this month can be challenging, to put it gently.

November. Why should November be any different than October was? Why would this November be any different. I want to tell you, but if I give my idea today and don't follow through, I'll feel the fool, again. And it's likely that I won't follow through. But, some things are different this year. I didn't decide whether or not to compete in NaNoWriMo this year until this morning. Other years, I planned on it throughout October. And I'm not going to follow the NaNoWriMo advice to tell everyone I'm writing a novel until I make it through November 12. Okay, so I just lied there since I told anyone who's reading this post. But I'm not telling you the genre or the focus. Let's just say, I think it could be fun, and it might just help with my A.D.D., A.D.H.D, or whatever it is.

The first reading this morning for All Saints' Day was from Revelation. The selection concluded with these words:

Then one of the elders spoke up and said to me, "Who are these wearing white robes, and where did they come from? I said to him, "My lord, you are the one who knows." He said to me, "These are the ones who have survived the time of great distress; they have washed their robes and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb." Rev: 7:13-14

The words "survived the time of great distress" spoke to my heart. Like Martha, "I'm worried and anxious over many things." I want to fix things. I want to help people. However, some days, I can't even clear out the junk e-mail from my inbox. I read lots of self-help books and blogs. I know what I need to do, but for some reason I just cannot execute those tasks. Why? I have blamed A.D.D., and clearly I'm not alone because the blog post where I questioned my own self-diagnosis gets the most hits on this blog. Every new week, month, season, year, I get excited and hopeful for a significant change where I follow the health, finance, and career advice that will make me successful. Alas, my enthusiasm dims by Thursday, by the 8th of the month, or by February. I realize that if I am to do anything worthwhile, I must wash my robes in the Blood of the Lamb. Christ must be at the center.

Heavenly Father,

Help me to do your will this day. Lead me, through your Holy Word, and help me follow your plan for me. Keep me safe from all distress. Guide me so that I may help guide those entrusted to my care. 

Amen.

Paper Clutter, Projects, and the Darkness of October

You may find that this post rambles a bit. If so, I apologize. However, it's October, which means the darkness and cold are settling in, so I'm beginning to struggle a bit with Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.). My concentration is meh. I'm sleepy. I don't feel like exercising or dancing (very weird for me!). Reading books knocks me out. Things that ordinarily wouldn't bother me much have become exceedingly annoying lately. I clearly need to make some changes now so I don't slip into full-blown depression by Thanksgiving.

I try to avoid using the word "busy" to describe my days. It seems like a cop-out word. Everyone in modern American society seems to be busy. I don't believe I'm as busy as I seem to be. I think I just need to better manage my time. I often replay my days and weeks in my head, wondering what I do with all of the hours. I don't know what makes everyone else so busy, but for me it seems to be projects. Particularly troublesome are the projects that fail to come to a satisfying conclusion. The projects I begin seem to have a way of developing into unfinished symphonies (or novels, as the case may be).

My family did a little "move" in August when my eldest was preparing to leave for college. The other three children switched bedrooms and my office was bumped to the basement. It has been almost two months since we moved everyone, but things are still not organized the way I'd like.

The timing was fairly horrible for a room shift--it was the week before school started. I teach an online freshman composition class at a community college and homeschool my two youngest children. We totally switched our curriculum for our homeschool this year, so we are still getting used to things. In addition to the regular things, we've had extra projects and mini emergencies. My husband spent a couple weekends repairing cracks and cleaning the driveway to seal it before winter. My car broke down twice, requiring extra trips to the shop and a complete upheaval of my schedule for those days. I acquired a large load of wood chips which are being distributed throughout my garden beds--and it's taking a lot longer than I had anticipated to tackle the pile (which is sitting in my front yard). Our washing machine also needed repairing, but the repairman said it would cost as much as a new machine--so we repaired the four-year-old large-capacity, high-efficiancy machine ourselves for $200. Now the washing machine is working like it did when it was new--nice and quiet! In any case, time has been at a premium, and certain things have gotten pushed aside, like finishing the paper decluttering that should have happened before the rooms were swtiched two months ago.

I actually started to write this post back in September, before the car broke down the first time, just as school was starting. At that time, I was thinking "I still owe you an overview of the garage project." I laughed when I saw the draft of my blog post that said, "Next weekend, we hope to hang the shovels and do some finishing touches, and then I'll recap the adventure." Hmmm. Maybe we'll get to the shovels and finishing touches after Halloween....

For now, though, I would like to wrap up the untimely move. I said yes to the idea early last summer, but I went into a panic thinking about actually executing the shift which involved moving large furniture (dressers, beds, desks, a bookshelf, and a china cabinet). We rearranged furniture between three bedrooms, the mudroom, and the kitchen. Basically, it was like "moving" but staying in the same house since everyone except my husband and I would be sleeping in a new space. In some ways it was more difficult than an actual moving day because we weren't moving into an empty house. Every space was already full in our fairly small house, so choreographing the adventure wasn't as peaceful and smooth as I would have liked.

Nobody slept well the first night in the new rooms, including me! However, now that the new rooms are set up, the move seems to have been an excellent idea. All of the children are comfortable and happy in their new spaces.

Besides the physical moving of furniture, the "room move" renewed my focus to declutter, particularly kid stuff and paperwork. The "kid stuff" is under control, except the constant outgrowing of clothes for the boys. The bigger issue, of course, is paper clutter. The file cabinet that had been in the former office space was the final piece of furniture to move downstairs. Since it was full and heavy, it sat in the kitchen for almost two months.

I have been intending to purge the files for about a year now, but it's an easy project to put off in favor of other things, like baking cookies or picking tomatoes. I know in my mind that if I would simply do a few file folders each day, the job would be done rather quickly. For some reason, though, the thought of the task overwhelms me. I sometimes don't know what to save and what to shred. In this digital age where more and more bills are delivered online, how many past copies of bills do we really need to maintain on hand? USA.gov has a useful webpage for Managing Household Records that I'm planning to use to get things in order this month!

The FlyLady's October mission is to reduce paper clutter. In order to move the file cabinet, I took out all of the folders. In order to give my daughter an empty closet, I also had to take out a number of folders. These folders are stacked in my living room and my new office area. I hope to be writing by next week with my progress--not in December with the realization that two more months have gone by without success. I believe that reducing the paper clutter which is now taking over the living room and the office will help with my S.A.D.

Heavenly Father,

I know that you are all good. I know you have given me many good gifts. Help me to eliminate the clutter in my life and to be a better steward of my possessions and especially of my time. Please bless and guard those who suffer from depression, particularly as the darkness of fall and winter sets in. Thank you for all of the readers of this blog. Bless them and draw them close to your Sacred Heart.

Amen.

Two Weeks Until Race Day!

It's hard to believe it's already been a year since my last fundraiser as a Life Runner.  We will be driving from New England to Dayton, Ohio, (about 1,500 miles round trip) for the Air Force Marathon Races. I'm running a half marathon (my 5th), and my running partner is running a marathon (her first). We are raising funds for the Vitae Foundation and for a local crisis pregnancy center.

I hope my training has been sufficient, and that I can finish strong. Most importantly, I hope that my witness can help raise money for Vitae Foundation, and ultimately save lives.

If you would like to donate to my fundraiser, please visit my Razoo page.

Late August and Anxious Moments

I looked at the calendar yesterday and realized my first-born would be leaving in a week for college and minor seminary. I briefly met one other "Seminarian's Mom" at the registration and parent orientation day at the college in June. She is the only other person I "know" (we talked for one hour) whose son is discerning the priesthood. To say I am alone in uncharted waters would be overly dramatic, but I'm feeling a bit, well, alone in uncharted waters!

As my friends would likely attest, I'm prone to uncontrollable bouts of tears. My dad has referred to me as a "soft touch." I am rather sensitive. I thought, though, that I could handle this change without weeping. And here I sit. Eyes filling and tears blurring my vision as I try to say something profound about an experience that isn't really new. It's just new to me.

Lots of moms are sending their children off to college in the next few weeks. For some, it's the eldest. Others are now becoming "empty nesters." And many others are somewhere in between.

I remember when I was getting ready to start college. A young man who worked in the store next to where I worked in a mall joked that I was heading out in search of an "M-R-S degree." It took me a minute to process his joke (Mrs. degree), which I didn't find funny and which didn't happen in college. I was 17, and when I left home, I was still "home"--I lived with my grandmother during college and not in a dorm. However, I never did move back to my parents' house after that summer. I'm expecting my 17-year-old will likely be at our on breaks, but he may not really live with us after this week.

As I wrote the previous sentence, the waterfall of tears flowed harder. Is he scared? Will he be okay? Will he manage his time well and get enough rest? Have I taught him enough life skills for him to be on his own? Will the other seminarians say, "Didn't your mother ever teach you ... ?" Okay, I know it's not about me, but we all know many a shortcoming is blamed on the faulty parenting skills of the mother. Will his siblings miss him? Will they still have a good relationship with him after he leaves?

I'm scared. He'll only be a couple of hours away, but I won't be there if he needs me. I'm also scared that he won't need me any more.

Dear Son,

As you head off to college, remember your manners. Remember to set your alarm. And a back-up alarm. Try to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Use a calendar. Put all of your appointments and assignments on the calendar, even if you believe you can remember them. Study. Make good friendships. Exercise. Eat well. Sleep. Have fun and go to sporting events with your friends, even if you don't like to sport. Most importantly, pray. Pray before you eat. Pray when you study. Pray before bed. Pray with your friends. Pray for your siblings who will miss you dreadfully, even if they don't say it. Pray for Dad, who is also going to miss you so much. Of course, you know I will miss you. I will be praying for you every day. Please also pray for me.

Love always,

Mom

Garage Project, the Continuing Saga!

The garage project is mostly complete! We still need to hang a few shovels and decide whether to purchase a new tool rack for the brooms and rakes for some finishing touches, but all of the hard work is done. I will write a longer reflection soon, but I thought I'd at least post a "before and after" photo comparison.

Before: Dark and Scary!

After: Bright and airy!

Thank you to my wonderful family for their help in getting this project done! My husband, all four of my children, and my niece all painted, moved things, and helped in many ways over the two week transformation of our garage. I couldn't be more pleased with the results!

Spiritual Woman: Book Review: Strong Mothers, Strong Sons

A review by my friend at Spiritual Woman: Book Review: Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men by Meg Meeker, M.D. New York: Ballantine Books, 2014 ...



I hope to read this book soon as I'm mothering three sons, ages 8, 13, and 17!

Garage Project, Part Two

As I mentioned in my previous post, it would be very easy for me to go in the house, close the door, and ignore the garage without some specific deadlines and accountability. Two appointments this coming week have motivated us to keep moving!

On the back wall of the garage is a makeshift table from one of the wooden house doors we replaced 8 years ago. The door is on top of a couple sawhorses. As with any large flat surface, it is a great space for projects, but mostly it tends to be a place that accumulates clutter. The children leave toys, sweatshirts, paper, sidewalk chalk, and bubbles on the table. I tend to put gardening paraphernalia and painting supplies on the table, and admittedly not always in an orderly fashion. Consequently, when it comes time to start a project, I often spend the first 15 minutes finding the table under the clutter. On the adjacent wall is a three-tier shelf/workshop table that is partially inaccessible because it is partly behind the door table. During our Minimalism Game purge (I know, you're probably looking at the photos and thinking "What did you get rid of?"), we realized we could probably part with the cumbersome door table and rearrange a bit to streamline our storage, while reducing the flat surface invitation for clutter.

In order to make sure the door went away, I called our local building supply salvage store for a donation pick up. They are coming Thursday, so we cleared off the table this weekend. All we have to do now is put it outside on Wednesday evening.

Work surface? Nowhere to be found! 

See what I mean? Disaster. The items in the back corner
are inaccessible.

At least the floor is clear and I can fit the van in....

The next order of business was to figure out how we would deal with re-taping and mudding the ceiling to prepare for painting. A step ladder is not practical for this type of work. We asked a couple friends if they knew of anyone with scaffolding we could borrow. No luck. So I looked at the online catalog for the local construction rental place. I saw the perfect solution--a rolling work platform! I called and reserved the platform for Saturday morning. Since the store is closed on Sunday, we can get the platform for the whole weekend for the cost of 1.5 days!

One of the split seams on the ceiling.
My shoulders ache just thinking about this weekend!

You may not understand why these deadlines are so exciting to me. I will explain. Since we only have the platform for the weekend, the ceiling must be completed this weekend. No time to dilly-dally! That means by Monday morning, when I take the rolling platform back to the rental shop, the garage will have a fresh coat of paint and will look like a new place.

The project won't be done with the completed paint job, though. We still need to do some trim work around the windows. We also must make a decision on what to do with the floor (stain, paint, Racedeck, or simply clean what we have). Finally, when all the cleaning and painting is done, we will reorganize and possibly purchase a storage system to get things off the floor and orderly. The most overwhelming task, however, will be completed once the paint dries on the ceiling.

If you've done a garage makeover and have suggestions for tool and bike storage or floor treatments (pictures please, I'm a visual learner!), I'd love to see them!

Have a great week, and I hope to be sharing some great results, and maybe some interesting stories, next week!

Garage Project, Part One

When we bought our house back in 2005, we knew we would need to do some updating. We've done a little at a time, including a new roof and new doors, new faucets, lots of painting, a new garage door, and updating to the downstairs bathroom. We have a list of other updates we'd still like to make when they are in the budget. One of the worst spots in the house is the attached garage. It's "just a garage" so it was pretty been low on the priority list. Over the years, we have used the space for storing bikes, lawn and garden tools, and the van. I've also used it as a workshop for furniture and kitchen cabinet painting projects. My favorite use of the space is for practicing Irish Dance! Before our annual recital, sometimes alone and other years with my daughter or my friend, the van gets moved out and the floor swept, and then I practice my hard shoe dances. 

We are not planning to move any time in the foreseeable future, but since this is our third house, I've learned to remodel and update in terms of improving home value and sale-ability. An ugly garage space probably wouldn't be the main feature that would tank a home sale, but a fresh-looking garage could definitely be appealing to a buyer. The other thing I've learned after selling two homes is that it's smart to make the improvements for yourself, not for the next owner. I lived with dingy, ugly wall-to-wall carpet for several years at our previous house. I shampooed it, and it still looked bad. When we listed the house to sell, the realtor strongly suggested replacing the carpeting. I agreed, and the house looked so much better--for the next owner. This time, we're making the changes to make our home the way we like it.

House wall. See ugly paneling piece around the garage
door opener. The whole wall to the right of the house door
was pieced like that.

In spite of its usefulness, the interior of our garage is downright ugly. The wall attached to the house had some 1970s fake wood paneling, which would have been okay with a coat of paint, if the pieces weren't all smaller than 3' x 3'. They were oddly pieced in, and it looked super tacky. The lighting is poor and the windows are difficult to open, so it's stuffy in the middle of summer. In addition to the weird wall treatments, the sheet rock on the ceiling was taped and mudded, but never painted. As a result, the tape seams have cracked. Before his summer job started, my oldest son removed the fake wood paneling, revealing drywall like the ceiling and the other half of the house wall. The other walls are plywood. 

Attic access ladder is broken and tape seams are cracked.

My husband and I agreed last month that it's time to make some changes to the garage. Most of them are not expensive--just time consuming. We've already purged a lot of junk during June when I played the Minimalism Game, but then we had a couple weeks of not much progress. As any runner knows, having a race to train for is a great motivator. I am training for a half marathon 10 weeks from now. I started a couple months ago, and I'm starting to build up my mileage so that when race day rolls around, I'll be ready. A household project is easy to ignore and postpone, unless specific deadlines require accountability. The Minimalism Game helped because I knew we needed to purge 20+ items per day at the end of the month. Now that the game is over, it has been easy to focus on other things and ignore the garage. 

Enter...organized and hard-working husband. I had lots of other things I would have rather done last weekend, but my husband said he was planning to work on the garage. It wasn't necessarily the most romantic way to spend our anniversary, but we were working together, and that's a big motivator for me. If I have a partner and accountability, I have all the focus of a "normal" non-ADD person. I jumped into full-on work mode. We used the spackling compound we had on hand and finished patching and sanding the wall that had had the fake wood paneling. It's now nice and smooth and ready for priming and painting. Unfortunately, we ran out of supplies (we were using up what we had from other projects). So far, this project has cost "zero dollars"!

Tune in tomorrow for an update on this weekend's progress and the benefits of accountability!

Minimalist, I Am Not

Today, June 30, was the final day of my participation in the Minimalism Game with a group of friends. I have posted some of my daily decluttering tallies in this blog: here, here, here...and here. I have pondered whether decluttering would help my un-diagnosed ADD and whether the accountability in the game would help me maintain focus. The answer to both of those questions is "sort of." 

Pride is a useful tool. When other members of the group would send the group emails with their daily tallies, I couldn't let them beat me. I'm not always a "winner," but I am fairly competitive. My pride motivated me to keep purging junk, even though I wasn't highly motivated personally to get rid of things on certain days. I knew that the other members of the group would notice if I didn't send a message with my purge list, so the accountability kept me going to the end of the game.

Has the decluttering helped my focus? I would say, not yet. We have purged a lot, but several areas need more concentrated purging, then organizing before I can be in the spaces without being regularly distracted. Most importantly, the office needs an overhaul. However, some of the spaces that were particularly distracting to me are much better today than they were May 31.

Several members of my household have contributed to the item count. My daughter cleaned out the clothes that she doesn't wear and the socks with holes for a 20-something count. Because she cleaned out her dresser, I was able to repair a broken drawer, and her "clothes pile" is no longer on top of the dresser. The clothes are mostly put away, and I can now stand in her doorway and talk to her without feeling anxious at the sight of the clutter.

The boys helped my husband with a garage clean-up that tallied to the full count for days 28 and 29. When I drove the van into the garage today, I noticed that it felt much roomier. Organizing and painting the garage is the family project for the rest of this summer, so the Minimalism Game was a great first step to getting that project underway.

I was struggling today to finish the game. I had a bit of a headache and thought about not bothering with the final day. The pride thing started gnawing at me around 9 p.m.  I was sitting here wondering what I would do for the final 27 since I had the first 3 accounted for.  I kept looking at the shelves in the office closet, knowing that I probably could have gotten quite a few days’ worth out of there, but I hesitated to tackle the space for some reason. A few moments ago, my gaze fell upon a green basket. I remembered that I used to store cassette tapes in that basket. On top of the cassettes were some small photo albums. My daughter and I looked at baby pictures of her and the two older boys for a few minutes, then I dug in to find the cassettes!

Day 30

1.  Pair of my husband's old running shoes

2. A pair of holey, not holy, underwear.

3. Dried out glue stick

4-30! Mix tapes and other 1980s cassettes.

Done!!

For July, I will be working on the garage project and my Camp NaNoWriMo novel, but I may try a 31-day Minimalism Challenge for August with a special focus on the office and kitchen. Then, I'll let you know if my focus improves.

I have learned from this game that I am not a minimalist, and I probably never will be. However, we have recognized as a family that we have held on to a lot of junk that we really do not need. Clearing out the junk makes it easier to find what we do need and to use the useful things we'd forgotten because they were hidden in the clutter. 

The REAL reason why children fidget

The REAL reason why children fidget Do you or your kids have attention problems? How much physical activity do you get each day? Angela Hanscom of Timbernook suggests that lack of movement could be a big part of the problem! I've "unplugged" my kids for the afternoon, and we're heading for an afternoon at the lake!