FlyLady Motto and My New Year's "Musing"

The FlyLady offers thoughtful reflections in her "Morning Musings." She often mentions that perfectionism is a problem for "Sidetracked Home Executives" (SHEs). Today's musing is How Our Mottos Gently FlyWash Us. Over the past few days I was wondering what the new motto would be--and now I'm wondering if I can come up with one that the FlyLady would like.

When I discovered the FlyLady website about six years ago, I initially scoffed at this concept that perfectionism was negative. What could possibly be wrong with doing things correctly and thoroughly? For readers who are unfamiliar with the FlyLady, she offers a sensible, realistic, and gentle approach to home management.  Do I follow every idea she presents?  No.  If I did, though, I'd probably be more relaxed, have more fun time with my family, and a cleaner house. However, after six years of receiving her emails, I can honestly say she's the only "daily digest" I've never considered "unsubscribing" from.

Upon reflection, I have finally realized over the past couple weeks that I do struggle with the perfectionism. I have a 2' by 3' white board next to my desk where I've been noting things that need doing--a running to-do list of the big things around the house that don't have a specific due date on the calendar. The whole board is full of notes regarding things like:

• Tidying the gardening things, toys, etc. in the garage
• Bringing furniture in from the yard
• Taking old electronics to Staples for recycling
• Scrubbing windows
• Writing the novel I started four years ago
• Making blueberry jam

Some of these items would take less than 15 minutes to complete.  Many would take less than an hour.  I've had numerous excuses for not completing them:

• "I need to leave to pick up someone from practice in a little while." 
• "I still have 30 papers to grade." 
• "I need to figure out what I'm making for dinner."

What's the real reason "nothing is getting done"? Perfectionism. The biggest example in my home right now is the living room. I started redecorating at the beginning of last summer. I arranged to have the sofa and love seat reupholstered. While the furniture was gone (for almost two months--but that's a whole different story), we painted the ceiling, walls, and woodwork. I felt so pleased because the room looked fresh and inviting. The furniture finally came back, and fear set in: "The cats are going to ruin my newly upholstered couches." One of my kitties was adopted from the animal shelter when she was a year and a half old. She had bad manners when we got her--she was a sofa scratcher. She is 7 now and behaves most of the time, but when she wants attention she is inclined to scratch. I bought a spray that was supposed to deter cats and sprayed it on some scrap fabric. I placed it on the floor. She walked over, sniffed it, then sat on it. Clearly, the spray would not keep her away from the sofa. We have a scratching post that she will use, but she did go after the furniture in the past, so I've been terrified of walking in to find the new upholstery torn to ribbons.

What is the solution? The upholsterer had leftover fabric that I'd intended to use to make pillows, but the more practical use seems to be arm covers. Covering the arms will cover the section on the front of the couch where the cat is most likely to scratch. I've been considering this project for three months now. I have searched for instructions online on more than one occasion. Instead of getting it done, I've covered the arms of the sofa with blankets and the entire loveseat is covered in an old quilt that slides around when the children sit there. Then the arm is exposed again and the angst returns. The cats, however, are happy. They lie on the quilt and feel quite cozy. I, on the other hand, cringe at how trashy the room looks when the whole point of reupholstering the formerly shredded couches was to make the room inviting. I rarely sit in the living room now because it frustrates me too much.  

In addition to the coverings on the couches, I've been hoping to make or purchase new curtains. Again, hours of shopping online and in stores for fabric or ideas to treat the window and complete the room have resulted in the same old curtains hanging there, looking out of place as the teal shade looks odd against the new blue walls. Finally, this week, I decided on curtains and ordered them before I could change my mind again.  

It's all just stuff, really, and I feel materialistic (more guilt) that I've obsessed about it so much. BUT, the whole point of the project was to make the living room an inviting place for the family to gather and friends to visit.

My agenda for today is clear (dual meaning--no appointments, and I recognize what must be done). I will use the 2008 "Do it now!" motto and get some things done today in the living room. I did begin the arm cover project a couple days ago, but the mock-up didn't fit well, so I looked for better instructions which I will use to finally complete that project and put the blankets to better use. I will also get the old curtains down and the windows washed so the new curtains can be hung when they arrive this week.  

It will feel great to erase some of the items from the white board.  Maybe I will "Wipe the Slate Clean for 2014."

Second Sunday of Advent--How's Your New Year Going?

The Advent season includes the feasts of many popular saints, including St. Nicholas, St. Ambrose, St. Juan Diego, and St. Lucy.  As I mentioned in my post about St. Nicholas, I didn't learn much about the lives of the saints until I was an adult. I recognized St. Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day because they have been commercialized, but I didn't know much beyond hearts and shamrocks.  As an adult, I became interested in the lives of the saints. A friend loaned me a book about St. Catherine of Siena, and I read another book about St. Elizabeth of Hungary. My husband bought Treasury of Women Saints for my birthday one year. The more I read about these virtuous Catholics, the more I realized they were human beings like me who were called to a deep love of our Lord and his Church. My love for the saints grew when I had the opportunity to edit the Saint of the Day channel on CatholicExchange.com for several years during which time I got to know the feasts of many saints and to learn about those who aren't as well-known.

The season of Advent begins a new liturgical year for Catholics, and in the second week, we meet St. John the Baptist telling us to repent. In his homily at this weekend's Mass, one of the beloved friars at our Franciscan parish spoke of repentance and he used the lives and words of several saints to instruct and guide us. First, he mentioned St. Augustine of Hippo, and his cheeky comment from before his conversion asking God to give him chastity and continence, "but not just yet." We know that God gave him those gifts and many more as he became a great saint and one of the first four Doctors of the Church. Another saint whose words Father mentioned in his homily was St. Teresa of Avila. St. Teresa compared remorse and repentance.  These ideas make a wonderful "examination of conscience." Remorse is a deep, but brief, sorrow for wrongdoing. Repentance, on the other hand, recognizes the evil and moves forward to change and not repeat the wrongdoing.

"I will sprinkle clean water upon you to cleanse you from all your impurities,
and from all your idols I will cleanse you." Ez 36:25
Photo credit: Karen Ford copyright 2013

How many times have I experienced deep remorse, gone to confession, done penance, gone home and committed the same sin, and returned to the confessional to repeat the same confession? Have I truly repented of that sin? "Not just yet."

God knows our fallen nature. He forgives us as many times as we run to him and beg forgiveness. But we must not be like the Unmerciful Servant in Matthew 18:21-35 who begged the king for mercy and was then unmerciful to his fellow servant. He had remorse for not paying the king back what he owed--for fear of his just punishment--but he clearly hadn't repented. Jesus teaches us,

His master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?’Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt. So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart. (Mt 32-35)

During this holy season of Advent, let us not be remorseful, making temporary resolutions. Let us grow in holiness, learning from the saints, seeking to be truly repentant, "to avoid sin and to amend my life. Amen."

St. Nicholas Day Traditions

I'll admit it.  I didn't fill my children's smelly shoes with treats last night for St. Nicholas Day. Another, "What kind of Catholic homeschool mom are you?" moment.  The shoe tradition was not something I grew up with.  In fact, I didn't know much about saints' feast days or even that Mass was offered every single day until I was an adult.  Add to this fact that I'm not a crafty, decorating, fun type of person, and you have empty shoes on December 6. I'm really more of a "sharing stories" type of mom.  Telling stories has the bonus of no clutter.

Several of my friends posted on Facebook that the shoes were filled and ready for joyous children to discover them this morning. Honestly, I love the idea of celebrating St. Nicholas' feast day, and I read the reflection about St. Nicholas of Myra in our saints of the day book yesterday since I knew we had a busy morning scheduled for today.  But somehow the "put it into practice" side of me isn't making any headway with the shoe tradition. 

The St. Nicholas Center offers lots of St. Nicholas information, including ways to celebrate and descriptions of traditions from around the world.  As my father's side of the family is of Hungarian descent, I took a look at the Hungarian customs. According to the site: 

Postcard, Hungary
Rosenthal Collection

Copyright © 2002-2013 St. Nicholas Center

On December 5th children in Hungary carefully polish their best boot and put it on the windowsill or in front of the door to be filled by St. Nicholas, Szent Mikulás or Miklós, sometime during the night. The good bishop comes with a big sack full of presents and a large record book with children's good and bad deeds.

He used to come with two helpers: a good angel who helps give out presents and a bad Krampus devil who makes mischief. Now it seems mostly to be the Krampusz.In the night Szent Mikulás secretly leaves little bags filled with candies, tangerines, oranges, walnuts, apples, chocolate Mikulás figures, peanuts, and small presents for children to find in the morning. Naughty children find twigs painted gold or a wooden spoon. Most children get some of each as no one is all good or all bad.

Even adults may participate, though they no longer seem to polish their shoes.

Perhaps I will read the various traditions with my children.  Maybe when they are grown and have their own children, they will be inspired to shine shoes and fill them with treats.  I can plant the seed, and maybe someday buy treats for grandchildren.  For today, I will offer "Happy St. Nicholas' Day" greetings and share a story or two.  

St. Nicholas of Myra, patron of sailors, children, and Russia, and a wonderful model of a giving Advent saint, guide us and lead us to the Christ Child. Amen.

Happy New Year, Happy Advent!

First of the month.  Mondays.  New school years.  New liturgical years.  All of these "beginnings" give me hope to improve upon the way I'm living.  But here it is, Wednesday morning of the first week of Advent, and I'm just getting around to reflecting upon the "Happy New Year!" greeting I offered on Thanksgiving (my birthday was last week, too, so it really is my new year right now).

When I log into this blog, I usually look to see how many viewers have visited the site and which post brought them here.  The latest view was "Struggling to Keep Your Resolutions" which was a link to another blogger's post.  My most popular title is "Maybe I Have ADD," followed by "Girls and ADHD or ADD" and "Decluttering My Domestic Church."  Clearly, I am attracting readers who are like me--distracted and seeking order.  Chances are, you may feel like you are chasing your tail and not accomplishing anything.  A little reflection will probably indicate that you accomplish much more than you think you do, but you need to put it in perspective.

Yesterday, I woke up feeling very optimistic.  I had finished a big grading project for my "paying job" on Monday afternoon (I teach English part-time at a local college) and hoped to tackle my household to-do list.  When I looked at my white board in the afternoon to check items off the to-do list, I realized that I had completed lots of "invisible" tasks that weren't on the written to-do list.  I washed my bedding, dusted all the ceiling fans in the house, watered the plants, made a couple of important phone calls, printed paperwork for my eldest's college application process, finished some homeschool lessons with the boys, reduced the giant pile of Black Friday ads and other clutter on the kitchen counter, and put away the Thanksgiving decorations (all four of them). My desk was still cluttered. The carpet was still not vacuumed.  Dead plants were still residing in the front garden. Dinner was still not planned. Worst of all, we hadn't read the saint of the day on the feast of St. Francis Xavier. What kind of Catholic homeschooling mom ignores the feast of St. Francis Xavier?  I had a plan, but somehow forgot about it while I watered the plants 6 hours earlier and let the boys sleep late. I bounced from task to task without a clear focus, and several priorities were neglected. It would be dark in less than an hour, so outside work was probably not going to happen.

The children heartily suggested I go clothing shopping with my daughter and then buy pizza for dinner.  The thought was tempting, but I was in frumpy gardening clothes because I had intended to work outside and in the garage since the weather was mild.  A trip to the mall was out of the question, and ordering pizza was not in the budget or plan.

The plan!  I remembered that I had a plan.  I had made a menu for November and December with my friend a few weeks ago. Life is much easier with a menu. I have stuck to the menu for a few weeks, and my days have gone smoothly.  The grading project had consumed four straight days, though, and I hadn't looked at the December meal plan when I went to the store last week. For Tuesday, chicken stir fry was on the menu.  Unfortunately, I didn't have chicken or stir-fry vegetables in the house. As I pondered my options, a child came to me asking for video game time.  Distracted Mama often says, "Sure, you're done with school, go ahead." Then, once they are playing, I notice their chores haven't been done.  I had a moment of clarity and remembered the leaves and clean-up that needed to happen in the garden (items on the written to-do list) and said, "First, I need help with the yard." He and his brother were willing to work for their screen time, so I showed them the plants that should be pulled out before the ground freezes.  After they went off to their task, I took care of emptying three cans of kitchen scraps into the compost and sorted through the remaining tomato harvest.  I had picked all of the green tomatoes in October, and they have been ripening on a table in the garage.  A few were rotten, but I found about 12 nicely ripened tomatoes, and from there developed my plan for dinner.

The happy sunflower in July.  Yesterday, it was brown and the seeds
had been consumed long ago by the birds.

The boys finished their task, and I granted permission for some screen time. I took the tomatoes to the kitchen, found the other ingredients, and took a look out the window.  I had just enough daylight to take care of the rest of the dead plants in the front garden that were too big for the boys.  Last summer, I planted vegetables in the front yard.  Giant "gone to seed" broccoli and dead sunflowers have adorned the front lawn for a couple months, making me cringe every time I see them.  I dragged the wheelbarrow to the front yard, yanked the overgrown beasts from the earth, piled them in the wheelbarrow and pushed them to their resting place in a new compost heap.  It took 15-30 minutes to change the appearance of my front lawn from unkempt to tidy (well, tidier--the rest of the leaves are still there).  I still had time to make dinner before my husband got home from work.

How I made an easy, but kinda fancy-sounding dinner:
Roasted Tomatoes with Salmon and Orzo
Ingredients:
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 med. red onion, coarsely chopped
12 ripe tomatoes, quartered
6 cremini mushrooms, thickly sliced
One can Wild Salmon
1/2-3/4 cup Parmesan Cheese
2 Frozen pesto cubes (2-4 T prepared pesto)
16 oz. Orzo pasta

First, I drizzled EVOO in a casserole dish and preheated the oven to 400.  To the casserole, I added a coarsely chopped red onion, quartered tomatoes, 6 cremini mushrooms, two "pesto cubes" from the freezer, and a can of wild-caught salmon.  The casserole went into the oven, and then I started water for the pasta.  After about 15 minutes, I gave the veggies and salmon a stir and realized the oven needed to be hotter, so I set it to 450.  When the orzo was cooked, the veggie mixture was fragrant and bubbling nicely.  I stirred the two together and added about a half cup of Parmesan cheese.  It was creamy, yummy, deliciousness!

Dinner was ready and waiting when my husband arrived!  The children and I got everything on the table, and my oldest lit the first Advent candle.  I sang "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" (while the children groaned) and we waited for my husband to join us at the table.

After dinner, my husband and I prayed the rosary with the child who had requested video game time earlier.  While we prayed, I reflected on the day and on my family and our many blessings.  I realized that the day wasn't perfect and that the yard work could have gotten done completely, leaves and all, if we'd gone out right after lunch.  The way it turned out, though, was much more peaceful and really was good enough for the day.  I wasn't burdened with the work, and neither was anyone else.

When the younger boys went to bed, I took another look at the to-do list and realized there were two important computer items I could complete and erase before bed.

Several times throughout the day I had contemplated simply taking a nap or wasting time on Facebook (okay, I did do that), but the New Year's feeling helped motivate me to finish lots of little things.

This morning, I again woke feeling very optimistic.  I didn't think I had accomplished much yesterday, but as I wrote this post (at my cluttered desk), I realized this New Year is off to a good start.  Yes, there will be days where I don't "accomplish anything" and probably give in and buy take-out pizza. Yes, I am still easily distracted. However, priorities, menus, and a white board next to my desk all help.  And remembering it's Advent and new liturgical year give me hope.  Happy New Year, everyone.

I welcome comments to this blog! What are you doing to celebrate the "New Year"?  How does celebrating Advent help you to focus on Christ all around you?  If you struggle with ADD/ADHD or wonder if you have it, what do you do to stay on task?

Mary of Nazareth--Wedding of Mary and Joseph

Photo Credit – Photo Courtesy of Ignatius Press

The scene of Mary and Joseph's wedding is one of my favorites! 

Movie Review: Mary of Nazareth

Mary of Nazareth: The birth of Jesus.

Photo Credit – Photo Courtesy of Ignatius Press

Synopsis: This full-length feature film about the life of Our Lady, shot in English in high definition, was filmed in [Tunisia]. Actress Alissa Jung gives a beautiful, compelling and inspired portrayal of Mary…. Directed by acclaimed European film director Giacomo Campiotti (BAKHITA, DOCTOR ZHIVAGO, ST. GIUSEPPE MOSCATI) and written by Francesco Arlanch (RESTLESS HEART, PIUS XII, POPE JOHN PAUL II), in addition to the luminous performance by Jung, the film provides inspiring portrayals of all the main roles, including Andreas Pietschmann as Jesus, Luca Marinelli as Joseph, Paz Vega as Mary Magdalene and Antonia Liskova as Herodias. The original music score was written by Guy Farley. (Carmel Communications for Ignatius Press). Watch trailer here.

Who is My Mother?

From the cross, Jesus gave Mary to us as our mother. Mary, the mother of our Lord, has appeared to the faithful over the centuries, consoling and instructing us. She knows us and loves us as our tender mother. But do we know her? We encounter Mary through her brief appearances in the scriptures, through the stories of saints who experienced visions of her, and especially through recitation of the rosary. St. Juan Diego left us his tilma with her image. St. Bernadette and the children of Fatima gave us her messages to repent and to pray the rosary. And yet, “Mary is a mystery,” as the character of her father Joachim says in the new Ignatius Press release of the motion picture Mary of Nazareth. 

Just as the prayer of the rosary reflects on the mysteries of the life of Jesus and his mother, Mary, Mary of Nazareth illuminates those mysteries in the medium of film as I’ve never encountered in other portrayals of the Blessed Mother. This artistic representation of Mary has been hailed by movie critics and Marian experts alike. As I watched the film, my love and admiration for both Mary and Joseph grew deeper, and I got to know my heavenly mother. 

Ordinary Things

In Mary of Nazareth, Mary’s mystery shines in the ordinary. Just before Joseph’s marriage proposal, she sits on a rock in a garden with the sheep. The Angel Gabriel arrives while Mary is making bread.  Jesus and the twelve arrive while Mary picks carrots. Again, Mary is making bread as Jesus instructs his apostles to be salt and light. 

As Mary (Jung) does these ordinary things throughout the film, the viewer is captivated by her joy and serenity.  After she returns from assisting Elizabeth with the birth of John the Baptist, the villagers treat her with disdain for her out-of-wedlock pregnancy.  When Mary and her mother, Ann (Antonella Attili), go to pick olives, the other women leave, harrumphing and looking at her with contempt.  Another young woman in a similar situation may have gotten angry, insulted, or depressed by their harsh treatment.  Mary clearly recognizes their disgust, but she remains serene, gathering the fruit.  She knows the child she carries is not the son of man and she has committed no sin.  She trusts the Lord, who through the angel told her to “Rejoice!” and so she does.  In fact, she rarely stops smiling throughout the film, so deep is her joy.

Relationships

The original film was 200 minutes, while the Ignatius Press version is edited to 153 minutes.  As a result of the editing, some viewers may miss the connection between Mary (Jung) and Mary Magdalene (Paz Vega).  Another reviewer who viewed the full-length Maria de Nazaret explained that the two women were close friends as girls.  Mary’s path in life begins with a childhood spent in the temple, learning about the Lord. Magdalene’s path leads her to Herod’s court and a pursuit of worldly desires which nearly ends in her stoning.  The reunion of the women set against the backdrop of Jesus’ teaching the parable of the prodigal son shows the Gospel message of mercy and love in a profound, telling way.  Mary’s and Magdalene’s friendship reminds us of Mary’s humanity.

Of course, many reviewers have discussed the relationship between Mary (Jung) and Jesus (Andreas Pietschmann).  Their interaction reveals a closeness, particularly before the Last Supper, that reveals much about Our Lady’s role in salvation history.  These talented actors capture the emotion and tenderness between mother and son in each scene they share.

The relationship that most deeply touched my heart was between Mary (Jung) and Joseph (Luca Marinelli).  We hear in Matthew’s gospel that Joseph, “a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to send her away quietly” (Mt 1:19) when Mary was found to be with child “before they came together” (Mt 1:18). Joseph loves Mary.  Rather than focus on his righteousness, Joseph tells Mary the information about her pregnancy is too much. He says, “I’m just a man.” The turn of phrase here—the double meaning of “just” emphasizes his humanity.  This man chosen by God to raise his son and protect his mother cannot believe the news, but he refuses to bring harm, shame, and death to his beloved.  At the moment of his deepest grief, the angel appears in his dream, and, through the gift of God’s grace, Joseph begins to live a similar joy to that of Mary.

There Is My Mother!

You don’t want to miss a moment of this film! We know the highlights of Mary’s life—we reflect on them in the Mysteries of the Rosary.  In Mary of Nazareth, the story we know so well comes to life, in all of its tender humanity. This movie will change your life.  You will have a new appreciation for the joys and sorrows of Our Lady—you will get to know your mother.

Evangelization Tool

Currently, Ignatius Press is offering Mary of Nazareth through sponsored screenings.  The San Damiano Youth Group from the Basilica of St. Stanislaus in Chicopee, Massachusetts, will be hosting a screening at 7:30 p.m. on January 18, 2014.  Tickets are $10 and the fundraiser will help defray the costs of the group’s annual summer camp and retreat.  The San Damiano Youth Group hosted Restless Heart: The Confessions of St. Augustine last January as a Year of Faith movie event and is excited to share this latest Ignatius Press release with the Diocese of Springfield.  

October Gloom Inspires Change

The gloom of October has settled into my bones.  I love the autumn colors and weather, but the darkness in New England exhausts me.  I find that I become tired very easily and cannot seem to accomplish the tasks I need to complete each day.

In particular, I reflect this time of year on making a change of some sort.  I have considered going back to school or looking for alternate employment, but financial limitations foster complacency.  My job is okay.  I like it sometimes.  The money is okay.  Truth be told, I'm not sure what I want to do when I grow up, but I know I'm not doing it now.

Therefore, I groan, grumble, and complain, but I don't know on a practical level what to do. I have moments of excitement over possibilities, but none of them seem realistic.

1. I could start writing regularly about things people care about and make a living as a blogger.
2. I could work toward sustainable living--growing most of our food. 
3. I could send the kids to school and teach full time.  Or work in an office.  Or something.
4. I could simplify our lives and cut our spending so that I could quit my job.
5. I could go back to school and get a degree in a different field that would make work exciting.
6. I could write and publish my first novel, developing the first draft during National Novel Writing Month in November (NaNoWriMo).

And then the realist/pessimist in my head retorts:

1. You haven't been able to blog every week with any consistency.  How on earth could you earn money blogging?
2. Your garden was bountiful this year, but you didn't substantially cut your grocery bill.  And you live in the city and zoning restrictions mean no livestock. Vegan living would put your family over the edge.
3. You have to at least homeschool the younger kids. You don't want to teach full time. Two words--Common Core!  
4. You don't buy many extras. You already do most of the "cost cutting" tips the magazines tout (cook meals, coffee at home, no cable, cheap cell phones), what else could you cut?
5. You can't afford school. Period.
6. You've started three NaNoWriMo novels and have never gotten past 50 pages.  And in November, when work and life is busiest. Ha!  Never gonna happen my friend.

October gloom.

I'm not always gloomy, though.  After morning coffee and prayer time today, I started looking at the FlyLady website and reading her Cruising Through the Holidays ideas and daily missions.  I felt enthusiastic about planning for the months ahead. Why? Because the focus was off of me and redirected at the prospect of spreading joy in the way I approach Thanksgiving and Christmas. The FlyLady offers tips on gift-giving, home decorating, baking, and more.  Her tips are a great way to make the preparations easier so the focus of the holidays can be on the people and memories we share during these special national and faith celebrations.

Gift-giving in particular used to be pleasurable to me, even when I had very little money.  When I was single, I'd put time and effort into purchasing or making gifts that would bring joy to my family and friends. I don't know when that feeling changed, but increasingly over the past 10 years, gift purchasing has been a rushed, stressful process that has made me bitter or frustrated. The emotional change may have been spawned by several years where my four children received so much plastic stuff that was broken or didn't work correctly that we'd hold our breath to see if the gifts under the tree would bring joy or tears! The Clutter Free Gift Ideas on the FlyLady site renewed my excitement about gift giving.  She offers hundreds of ideas from other "Fly Babies" for gifts that would be useful and appreciated. The list, and the testimonies with them, inspired me to start really thinking about my loved ones and how I can bring them joy this Christmas.

I still long for a change, but I recognize the first change needs to be my approach. I will get my priorities in order by shifting the focus off of myself and onto bringing joy to others.

Rosary Runner

“Running for Their Lives” (Columbia Magazine, December 2012), chronicles the founding and purpose of LIFE Runners, the largest international running group dedicated to Pro-Life causes.  The founders of the group are both members of the Knights of Columbus and Lt. Colonels in the United States Air Force. They began praying together as they were training for “Pikes Peak Ascent—dubbed ‘America’s Ultimate Challenge’—in 2006.” Out of that experience grew a daily devotional email that evolved into the LIFE Runners group which now has members across the United States and internationally.

I have enjoyed running since I was in college, but have begun more seriously training for races over the past four years.  My first official race was a local 5K trail race in a weekly summer series.  I wanted to quit for the last half-mile, but my best friend ran the race with me and encouraged me to repeat, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  I finished in last place, but I finished.  That moment transformed me.  My runs became opportunities for intercessory prayer. 

Since that first race, I have completed many shorter races as well as three half marathons (13.1 miles) and one 25K (15.5 miles) half-ultra trail race. Prayer has become a central focus for my training runs. In May of 2011, I was training for the Memorial Day Half Marathon in the Berkshires.  I had begun praying the rosary during my long training runs, and I regularly asked friends for intentions I could offer on the road.  One dear friend was 8 months pregnant and having complications requiring bed rest.  Our mutual friend called to tell me to pray for her, but I didn’t realize then that her situation was critical. She had been to the doctor on Friday of Mother’s Day weekend, and was expecting to go for her regular follow up the following Wednesday.

On Sunday, the doctor called to tell her she had been thinking of my friend all day and had decided to look more deeply at her history and charts. She was uncomfortable with waiting until Wednesday for the follow-up and wanted her to come to the hospital that day. She ultimately had a scheduled emergency C-section.  Her tiny baby arrived several weeks early and had Down syndrome.  Because my friend is unfalteringly Pro-Life, she had declined all prenatal testing that would have indicated any genetic concerns. She did not know the baby had Down syndrome until she was born.  The decision to go to the hospital and not wait until the Wednesday doctor’s appointment saved both of their lives. A few weeks later when I saw Baby Brigid for the first time, she was so tiny that she fit in a doll’s cradle.  Her perfect porcelain skin looked like a doll’s!  I just kept looking at this beautiful baby with total love and awe in God’s creation.  Later, my friend told me that my prayers helped save their lives that day.  I sobbed.  I know God had taken care of her and her tiny baby, but the challenges had just begun.  As with many babies with Down Syndrome, Baby Brigid would need open heart surgery to repair holes in her heart.

The following autumn, when I was training for the 25K, I began consistently praying a full rosary with all four mysteries on my long weekend runs.  Even though I’d sometimes lose count and say a 15-Hail Mary “decade”, the meditation on the life of Christ and my focus on the needs of those whose prayer intentions I carried made the runs more purposeful, if not easier.  I traveled out of state for the race, and Baby Brigid, now 4 months old, would be having her surgery in Boston while I was gone.  I offered the 3½ grueling hours of that race for Baby Brigid, the family, the surgeons, and all who would care for her during her recovery.  The race was a very technical trail race with lots of rocks, roots, and climbing.  I was not well-prepared for trails as I generally train and race on paved roads.  When I was a little more than half-way through the course, praying the sorrowful mysteries, my foot got caught under a root, and I tripped and fell hard.  I lay face down in the dirt for a long moment while other runners skirted around me. I pushed myself up and checked for blood and broken bones. My big toe throbbed and I had scraped hands and knees, but I was able to continue.  I thought of Christ falling three times on the Road to Calvary.  I said, “Lord, please take my fall, my pain, and keep Baby Brigid safe.  Please let me suffer so she can heal faster.”

If I didn’t have Baby Brigid to run for, I may have been tempted to quit and call my husband to come pick me up at the next water stop.  Carrying the prayer intention gave strength and purpose to my run.  I finished with no other falls, though I had to walk and hike a lot more than I had anticipated. The 25K was by no means my fastest race, but it was definitely my most purposeful and important.  When I got home, I found out that Baby Brigid’s was a success.  My friend said, “I knew you were praying for us in Boston. Looking around the room at the other parents waiting for kids in surgery, we were the only calm ones in the room. I was even surprised myself at how much I was able to trust God to guide the surgeon's hands. The surgery was perfect—it couldn't have been better even though the hole was larger than they thought and there were 3 not 2. They even sent us home a day earlier than [what they] originally said was minimum because she was doing so great. The whole thing was a tremendously difficult experience and I know I would have been a puddle if it hadn't have been for you and all my prayer warriors.”

After those two experiences, I have continued to ask for prayer intentions and to pray the rosary on my solitary runs.  The LIFE Runners article helped me recognize a bigger opportunity.  My prayers had been offered to help one precious baby.  Perhaps uniting my prayers with those of a running team could help save many babies!  I am working with two friends to establish the first Massachusetts chapter of Life Runners. We need 5 runners and a chaplain to be “official,” but in the meantime the three of us have been training since April for the Surftown Half Marathon in Rhode Island on September 15, the traditional feast of Our Lady of Sorrows.  We will race in our LIFE Runners t-shirts which say “Remember the Unborn” and include the reference to Jeremiah 1:5.  The scripture reads “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.” On September 15, we will run for Pro-Life, witnessing to the Truth that all human life is sacred.

In addition to uniting in prayer, LIFE Runners strive to raise money for Pro-Life causes.  The suggested goal is $262 per year which represents the 26.2 miles of a marathon.  Personally, I have trained for about 260 miles so far this year, so that goal would be approximately $1 per training mile! My personal goal is $524 ($40 per mile for my race on September 15)--$262 each for one local and one national charity. 

I have selected the Springfield Pregnancy Care Center as the local beneficiary of my fundraising efforts.  The SPCC has been helping women and children in the Springfield area since 1985.  Their services include the following: free pregnancy testing; confidential counseling; abstinence and STD education; referrals to medical, community and government agencies; free maternity clothes, baby clothes and baby equipment; ongoing personal support; adoption information; prenatal and postnatal instruction; and post abortion support.  The Massachusetts Citizens for Life chose SPCC to receive their 2013 Pro-Life Group of the Year Award. 

In addition to the local charity I'm supporting, LIFE Runners fund raise for one of three national organizations the group selects each year. The national beneficiary I've chosen of the three is the Vitae Foundation which promotes the message of life through the media. By promoting hope and the value of life in the media, we can help change hearts and save lives! You may make a donation to my Vitae Foundation Fundraiser, by clicking here: "Sharing the message of LIFE!"

Will you help me meet my goal of $262 for each charity by October 6?

Please consider a tax-deductible donation to support my efforts to help the Springfield Pregnancy Care Center or the Vitae Foundation to continue offering services to women facing unplanned pregnancies.  Your gift will help save a baby. Thank you for your support!

The Sixth Spiritual Work of Mercy: Bear Wrongs Patiently

Today is the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the First Friday of the month.  The readings were all about repentance and turning back to God.  The deacon gave a beautiful homily about how we are all sinners, concluding with a question about whether each of us is “the one lost sheep” that Jesus is searching to bring back to the fold.

Our homeschool group usually gathers at a local parish for First Friday.  This year we rotated between a few parishes where we were always graciously welcomed.  In years past, a wonderful pastor offered a special Mass for the homeschoolers, but our numbers are smaller now and we have joined in regular weekday Masses at the parishes rather than having a private Mass.  This spring, we attended the parish close to my home where my children and I go to Mass every Friday.  After almost every First Friday Mass, especially last month when we did a May Crowning with all of the children bringing a flower to Mary while singing Marian hymns, a different parishioner would approach us and express delight at the children being present in the church.

The daily communicants tend to sit in the same spots, and are used to seeing me with my children on most Friday mornings. We generally smile and nod to one another before or after Mass.  Today, I noticed a woman I had never seen before when I came into Mass.  She was sitting close to the door where we entered the church.  I wasn’t sure why she stood out to me, but I was very aware of her presence. 

The First Friday gatherings for the homeschoolers have generally included Mass, Adoration, Reconciliation, and fellowship.  Today only two families were available to attend our last First Friday of the school year because of graduations and other scheduling conflicts.  This fact alone made me a bit sad since my eighth grader is heading to high school next year.   I contacted the pastor to let him know we would be a small group and that we wouldn't need the social center for fellowship, but I hoped he would still be available for Reconciliation.  He responded that he would be there.

Before I went to Mass, I was on Facebook where a friend had shared the lists of the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. The sixth Spiritual Work of Mercy—“Bear wrongs patiently.” I made that my status and expressed my opinion that it’s the hardest one!  It’s easy to complain when someone treats us badly. 

At the end of Mass, the deacon exposed the Blessed Sacrament.  On this Solemnity, I felt especially grateful for the gift of Our Eucharistic Lord and devotion to His Sacred Heart.  

We sang “O Salutoris Hostia” (O Saving Victim).  We stayed a visited with Jesus quietly in our pew.  Then we headed over to the back of the side of the church near the confessional (the sanctuary cross-like in structure with three sections facing the altar).  My friend has an energetic two-year-old.  The little one was pacing around behind the pews as we waited for Father to come for confessions.  She said a few things in her little voice, but she wasn't terribly loud or rambunctious.

I approached my friend to let her know Father said he should be available for us when I contacted him yesterday.   Today is a very rainy day in Massachusetts.  We certainly would have gone outside to wait for Father if the weather was fair.  I suggested that maybe we should go out in the hall and wait so the five older children could visit and the toddler could move freely.  Just as we were about to go into the hall, the woman I noticed before Mass, who was sitting in the last pew, turned around and asked us if we were aware that Adoration was going on.  I responded that yes, we were aware.  She chastised us for the commotion and specifically for disturbing her prayer time.  I gently commented that the little one is only two years old. The woman snapped, “Well her mother isn't.” I responded that I was sorry if we had disturbed her, that we were waiting for Father. I held my tongue and didn't say, “Do you even hear what you are saying?” 

I wanted to quote Matthew 19:13-14,

Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away (RSV).

I wanted to tell her about bearing wrongs patiently.

I wanted to ask if she was the lost sheep.

I wanted to tell her that we were just about to go into the hall when she started chastising us.  

Instead, I looked at my friend, one of the kindest, gentlest souls I've ever met, and we quietly left the church and headed out into the rain. 

I said, “I guess she didn’t read the list of Spiritual Works of Mercy, especially about bearing wrongs patiently.  Well, I guess it was meant for me to bear wrongs patiently today.”  Praise God, I was patient with her in spite of the boiling feeling in my chest.

We didn't get to go to confession.  We didn't get to have fellowship.  Our school year ended with wrongs. 

My children were horrified by the behavior of the woman in the church.  They found her to be rude and disruptive. My 13-year-old daughter was visibly upset and told me she was especially sad that the woman talked to our friend that way since “She’s one of the nicest people I know!”  I asked the children if I dealt with the woman kindly.  I’m always afraid that my sarcastic bitter voice will erupt in moments like these.  My children assured me that my words and my tone were kind and appropriate.  I asked the children to be sure to offer an extra prayer for the woman who was clearly upset and needed that time with Jesus this morning.  

Dear Lord,

Bless the woman who was so angry with us this morning.  May her heart be touched with your merciful love.  Heal the wounds inflicted by angry words, especially my angry words in moments that I haven’t “Born wrongs patiently.” Comfort my friend who quietly accepted the stinging verbal attack of a stranger.

Amen.

Source: "Jesus is All I Need" Facebook page.

A Bleb that Burst

I got the call  from the school nurse Tuesday morning around 8:00.  Just an hour earlier I told my eldest child (age 16) to have a good day at school, and off he went to the bus stop.  I had lots of plans for the day, and I headed out to the garden right after he left so I could beat the heat and get some planting and weeding done.   I surveyed the bed, overgrown with various weeds, and dropped to my knees.  I smiled, thinking how much I enjoy gardening, even just pulling weeds, and how it gives me some quiet time to be with God. I remembered a few people I had intended to pray for and offered my time kneeling in the garden for their intentions and for anyone else who might need prayer. My husband called out that he was leaving for work, so I popped in the house for a few minutes, then went back to work in the yard.  About 10 minutes later, I heard the phone ringing, so I dashed to the house.  I picked up on the third ring, and the voice on the other end introduced herself as the school nurse. She explained that my son was experiencing chest pain on the right side and that I should come pick him up.

When I arrived at the school, the nurse talked about anxiety or the possibility of pneumothorax, a collapsed lung, as the source of the chest pain.  A visit to the pediatrician increased the suspicion for pneumothorax, which was then confirmed by chest x-ray.  We went to the Emergency Room next.  I must say, all of the staff at the hospital were fantastic.  They were expecting us when we arrived and explained everything in detail.

A wonderful physician assistant explained what pneumothorax is and how it happens.  She drew a sketch to help explain what happened to his lung and how the condition is treated.  She said that some people (particularly young, tall, thin white males like my son) have "blebs" on their lungs which are like blisters.  They can be there for years and never cause a problem.  Sometimes, though, a bleb will burst, causing air to leak into the chest cavity and the lung to collapse.  The initial treatment is a chest tube inserted between the ribs.  The tube is attached to suction which removes the air from the chest cavity so the lung can refill and heal.

When she left, a child life professional (a sort of counselor) talked to my son, making sure he was calm and comfortable with each part of his care in the Emergency Room.   She reiterated that he would be awake for the procedures, including an IV, numbing and relaxing medicine, a small incision, and then the insertion of the tube.  Yes, he would be conscious for the whole procedure, though the medication would make it likely that he may forget parts of it.

The pediatric surgeon and his team came next.  They reviewed the procedure again, telling my son about what was happening and how they would take care of him.  Everything seemed to move quickly after that.

First, the nurse inserted an IV for fluids and medication. When it was time for the chest tube insertion, I was able to stay with him and hold his hands.  In fact, I needed to hold his hands to keep him from moving during the procedure. A whole team entered the tiny space. The facility is a teaching hospital, so students, residents, and an attending surgeon were all there.  The site for the chest tube was then cleaned and draped to keep it sterile.

The child life professional stayed with us throughout the procedure, talking to my son and making sure he understood what was happening.  She also kept him distracted as needed to permit the doctors to complete their work.

When he seemed to get nervous or feel pain, I brought my face close to his, held tightly to his hands and prayed the "Hail Mary" aloud.  He calmed immediately, and I felt the protection of Our Lady wrapping her mantle around us both.  When the tube was in place, a burst of air released from the chest cavity, causing the lung to refill.  This moment was frightening.  He began to cough violently.  I got dizzy as I held tighter to his hands so he wouldn't flail as the doctors taped and secured the tube.  I scanned the faces in the room and locked eyes with the physician assistant.  She reassured me that his response was normal, but I still felt woozy.  The nurse brought me some orange juice.  She held the cup as I sipped through a straw, still holding my boy's hands for dear life.  I looked at the spot where the tube was inserted and realized it was very near to the spot where "one of the soldiers pierced [Jesus'] side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water" (John 19:34, RSV).  I united my little suffering, of dizziness and concern for my son, to Mary's suffering at Jesus' Passion.

As a Catholic, who just celebrated Pentecost this past weekend, the Holy Spirit was clearly on my mind.  I thought of the dry bones in Ezekiel 37:1-14, especially when the Lord instructed to "Prophesy to the spirit, prophesy son of man, and say to the spirit, 'Thus says the Lord God: Come from the four winds, O spirit, and breathe upon these slain, that they may live'" (Ez 37:8).  I thanked God for the gift of breath as my son's lungs filled, that he may live.

He was admitted to the hospital and moved to a room a little while after the procedure.

The next morning, one of our dear Friars from our Franciscan parish came to administer the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick to my son.  Many friends and family are praying for his healing.  The "prayer cover" has helped us all to maintain a sense of calm and trust in the care of the medical professionals during this time.  As of Wednesday evening, he still had a leak, requiring the continued use of suction to remove the leaking air.  By Thursday morning, the suction was removed, but x-rays still show a small hole and leak in the lung.

We are hoping that Friday will bring him home with the hole sealed and healed.  It's in God's hands, though, and in His time, not ours.  We do not know God's plan or how He will use this suffering.  Already, it has given us an opportunity to recognize how precious each life is.  It has given us an opportunity to ask for prayers from friends and family, uniting us in ways that we miss when everyone is healthy and going about their regular daily business.

Come Holy Spirit, Come. Breathe on us, Breath of God.

Have You Picked a Name for the Baby?

As a mother of four on earth and two in heaven, one of the first thoughts that went through my head after each positive pregnancy test was, “What shall we name you, little one?”  Before the morning sickness kicked in, I was already considering a number of boy and girl names for my children.  My husband and I would sit together in the living room many nights considering names. We considered possible nicknames, how the names would sound with our last name, family members with the same name, and especially patron saints.  I had a rather skinny book of baby names that listed the origin and meaning of the names.  The secular book was useful, but because choosing a good Christian name was of particular importance to us we needed to supplement our discernment by cross-checking names with books of saints.

A new book by Patrice Fagnant MacArthur, The CatholicBaby Name Book, (Ave Maria Press 2013) would have made my research easier!  This 526-page treasure provides information on “more than 10,000 names.”  Patrice is a personal friend of mine, but even if I didn’t know her, she speaks so intimately to the reader in the Introduction to The Catholic Baby Name Book that I sense the love that went into this project.  She writes, “I had the chance to research thousands of names and to read and write the biographies of more than 3,500 saints! I said yes to the project with no idea how I would ever accomplish the huge task in front of me.”  Patrice describes her research process and then explains how to use the book. 

The book is divided into alphabetical listings of boys’ names and girls’ names.  Each name entry includes cross references to names of the same origin, for example: Elizabeth is cross-referenced with Alizabeth, Eliabeth, Eliza, Helsa,  Lizette, and other variations.  The variations all have line entries that include a notation to see the saint name for the detailed description and biography. Likewise, if a name applies to both genders, the reference indicates which section of the book to check for the entry. The entries tell whether the name is that of a saint or virtue, or if it’s from the Old or New Testament.  When a name is common to multiple saints, their names are listed.  The entries also include the meaning of the name, the language of origin, and whether the name is designated as one of the “Top 100 Names.”

The appendices include “Recently Canonized Saints” (from 1982-2012), “Top 100 Names,” and “Most Popular Names by Decade” in reverse order from the 2000s to the 1960s.  If you’re seeking a unique name or a more traditional name with a distinctive spelling, The Catholic Baby Name Book will take you from Aaren to Zytka.  And in a few years, when your little one asks, “What does my name mean?” or “How did you choose my name?” you can show them the entry for their name in The Catholic Baby Name Book.  

Life in Prison, not the Death Penalty

When I saw that Kermit Gosnell would not seek an appeal and that he would likely receive life in prison rather than the death penalty for murdering babies born alive after attempted abortions, I was relieved.  How could I call myself pro-life and want the death penalty for anyone, even a serial killer?  I mourn the loss of all aborted children.  I pray for healing for their mothers.  I pray for healing for the clinic workers and doctors.

Abby Johnson addresses those "Christian pro-lifers" who say Kermit Gosnell doesn't deserve to breathe the same air they breathe.  They are wrong!  God is the only one who can decide who is worthy, not us.  Johnson says, "I know some will say, “but you repented, that is the difference.” But what if I hadn’t…not yet. What if I was still inside the abortion industry? What if I was still an accomplice to murder? What if it took me longer to realize the truth? Do I deserve to die? Are we saying repentance is about our timing? Certainly, it is not about us. It about God and His perfect timing."

Read Abby Johnson's article here.

Another Family's Struggle with ADHD

I just read an article by Karee Santo on CatholicLane.com that many of my readers will appreciate: Finally Finding Focus: Our ADHD Story.  Karee begins, "I didn’t use to believe in medication for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).  Truth be told, I didn’t used to believe in ADHD at all."  Sounds familiar!  

Karee makes an important point about recognizing her daughter's needs as an individual and advocating for her daughter with both the school and the doctors to get the medication she needed.  

Spiritual Woman: The Catholic Baby Name Book has Arrived!

My dear friend's book is available for purchase!  Names that reflect one's faith are beautiful gifts which are the honor of the parents to bestow on their children.  If you or someone you know is expecting a child, this book offers descriptions of over 10,000 Catholic Baby names. Read more at Spiritual Woman!

Spiritual Woman: The Catholic Baby Name Book has Arrived!: Ave Maria Press sent me my first copy of The Catholic Baby Name Book . They did such a wonderful job of putting this together. At 527 page...

Prayers for Boston Marathon Spectators and Participants

Two years ago, my husband qualified for, ran, and finished the Boston Marathon. He had run three marathons before Boston, and I had always been with him at the start and waiting for him at the finish.  I remember feeling so uneasy waiting for him to pass through the finish line at Boston.  The crowd was beyond anything I could have imagined.  My children and I paced back and forth around the corner from Boylston St. since we couldn't get close enough to see him finish.  We had arranged a meeting point near the buses that contained the gear the runners left on the buses in the morning since the race is "point to point," and we weren't at the start of the race with him.  I had such a feeling of disconnect and worry that day. When we found one another after he finished, I was so relieved.  He had run hard and had to sit down, but he seemed relieved, too, to have completed his goal.

Today in Boston, an act of senseless violence has marred the historic Boston Marathon.  A homemade bomb exploded close the the finish line about 4 hours into the race. The race today honored the 26 victims at Newtown, Connecticut.  Now, Boston has its own victims.  Two are confirmed dead and at least two dozen are injured.  Reporters mentioned that many had severed limbs.  As I flipped between the networks, watching the explosion over and over, the emergency workers and other citizens coming to the aid of the injured, tears streamed down my face.  I sobbed for a good 20 minutes, trying to make sense of it all.  I saw the images of the street I had walked with my young children two years ago.  I heard reports that children were injured.  I watched footage of runners finishing, others falling as debris from the blast struck them.  I worried for their safety.  I also thought like a runner and the wife of a runner--How would runners find their families? What did runners know who were still out on the course? And basic things like, would they be able to finish?  No, the race was over.

Boston is the big show: the Superbowl of Marathons.  Runners must qualify to race the Boston Marathon.  They train for months, even years, to get there.  Not everyone finishes in 2:30 hours like the elites.  At around four hours into the race when the bomb went off, about half of the runners were still on the course.  The athletes came to finish their race, but a senseless act of violence ruined their moment.

As I write, I don't know the motivation of the bomber, though reports indicate someone is in custody. I pray for those who lost their lives and the many who were injured in the explosion.  I wonder what our world has become when people aren't safe at a foot race.  God help us all.

And My Life Was Never the Same...Praise God!

Sixteen years ago I gave birth to my first child.  The beginning of the pregnancy included a scare.  Just one month into our marriage, Mike took me to the ER since I was experienceing severe abdominal pain.  We found out over the course of a few hours that I was pregnant, but that the pregnancy may be ectopic. As the tests were inconclusive, I was sent home for "two days of bed rest," but didn't make it 24 hours.  I returned by ambulance the next day, followed by emergency surgery. When the doctor administered the anesthesia, I had no idea whether I'd be pregnant when I woke.  I had spent the previous night in tears and prayer.

A couple weeks later, just as I healed from surgery, the morning sickness kicked in.  I lost about 15 pounds in the first trimester.  I feared for the health of the baby, but felt like a baby myself because I could barely walk across a room or cook a meal without holding onto something.  I was weak, but God had a plan.

The queasy months were a sign of a healthy pregnancy.  The baby grew.  We found out we were having a boy, and we gave him a name when he was still in the womb.  I talked to him a lot.  I was finishing graduate school, so as a "belly rider" (my husband coined that term for the child in the womb, and it always makes me smile), my growing infant attended class with me.  He and I shared secret moments as he fluttered, kicked, and squirmed while I was learning Discourse Theory or studying Working Class literature.

After a tumultuous beginning to my pregnancy, my husband and I grew closer to God and to one another as we prayed a daily rosary for the health of our unborn baby.  Eight months to the day after the surgery, I held a healthy 8-pound baby boy in my arms.  And my life was never the same.

Is Jesus Really God?

The Kingdom Hall of the Jehovah's Witnesses is pretty close to my home, so Witnesses regularly visit our neighborhood.  Their timing is very strategic, often just before holidays (which they don't celebrate).  Last fall, they came on Wednesday the day before Thanksgiving.   I was putting something in my van, which was parked in the driveway.  No knocking was required since I was already outside.  My enthusiasm for God and the Bible surprised my visitor ("Sue") and she has been back a couple of times.  She even sent me a letter in February because she had gone to Florida over the winter.  I had sort of expected her to show up on Holy Week, and sure enough she rang the bell on Wednesday.

Sue had a young companion with her on her most recent visit.  The young woman, a homeschooler in her senior year of high school, was very quiet and seemed skeptical of me when I invited them into the mudroom out of the cold wind.  Sue mentioned to the young woman that I homeschool my children.  I chatted away with "Sue" about the winter, her husband's illness, and her job working in the local schools 20 years ago.  Sue asked if I  had read the book she had given me about the bible. I told her I had read some of it, but I didn't make it all the way through.


I wondered what she would choose to share that week.  She had a Watchtower tract regarding the Resurrection.  I took it and read it after she left, scratching my head.  I know that the Bible has been translated to meet the ideas of various "Christian" denominations in order to fit their doctrine, but denying Jesus' divinity is not common among Protestants.  I still don't understand how the Witnesses can think of themselves as Christians while denying Christ's divinity, but I am seeking information to help me understand.  Since that day I've been paying closer attention to scripture readings as they relate to Christ's Divinity.

After she shared a reading from St. Paul to the Colossians, I shared my thoughts with Sue and her companion on the Seasons of Life that I had written about the day before her visit.  I read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 from her bible (I knew chapter and verse when she came since I had just looked it up the day before--thank you Holy Spirit! Next time, I'll remember to grab my Ignatius RSV on the way to the door).  I thought quietly about the season of "seeking and finding and witnessing."  For some reason, Sue is very drawn to me.  I imagine she may see in me a willing spirit who might become a JW, since I am welcoming to her, and I find joy in scripture.  My hope, of course, is that the Holy Spirit is drawing her to my door so that I may witness to her and help her find and seek the true God in the Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  On our first visit, when she was alone, she mentioned that she was raised "Catholic."  I pray that she finds the "Splendor of Truth" some day and comes home to the Catholic Church.

In today's gospel this Divine Mercy Sunday, Thomas witnesses the Resurrected Lord and proclaims, "My Lord and My God" (John 20:28). The Jehovah's Witnesses have a number of ways to explain this scripture.  Catholic Answers provides a useful analysis of The God of the Jehovah's Witnesses in a way that helps me understand their translations differ, as well as where their translation contradicts their own beliefs.

This experience reminds me that our faith instruction doesn't conclude at Confirmation when we "don't have to go to CCD any more." Our Catholic faith is rich and deep. We need to continue to study and grow in the gifts of the Holy Spirit and be nourished by the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ if we hope to live with the Father in Paradise.

He Is Risen! Indeed He Is Risen!

Happy Easter!  My family went to Easter Vigil for the first time with all six of us.  My youngest will be receiving his First Communion in May, so he wanted to be there to see the three candidates receive Baptism, First Communion, and Confirmation.  We had a surprise, too!  One of the candidates, after being confirmed, renewed his marriage vows with his wife since their marriage could now be fully blessed as a sacrament in the Church.  I'm so glad we went tonight.

This is the night....

This night begins the wonderful, joyous season of Easter.  Father mentioned that we Catholics fast for 40 days, then celebrate for 50!  Celebrate this Easter season!

Father's homily also reminded us to live up to the potential of the gifts God has given us.  If all Catholics live the love of Christ, how much can we change the world?

He Is Risen!  Indeed He Is Risen!

Alleluia!

The Rainy Seasons of Life

When one thinks of the seasons of life, they may consider childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and old age.  That simple list of four seasons, like spring, summer, fall, and winter, doesn't really capture the variety of the "weather" that makes our lives.  Just as "springtime" in New England can mean everything from blizzards to thunderstorms and sunshine to clouds with temperatures ranging from the teens to the eighties, each big season of our lives includes a variety of weather patterns.

My adult life has included a variety of weather already.  I just noticed that tomorrow marks 20 years since I earned my bachelor's degree.  It seems like just a few years ago I was a young, single recent college grad at her first full-time job, then a young wife and mother.  Where did the time go?  Now I'm the mother of four children ranging in age from 7 to almost 16 years old.  The season of mothering teens is much different than mothering infants and toddlers.

I spent this afternoon with my daughter at a mini orientation for "out of district" children who will be attending the rather large (2000+ students) public high school this fall.  The group of about 20 eighth graders included children from parochial and charter schools as well as homeschoolers (not sure if we were the only ones in that category).  The guidance counselors and principal gave us information about academics, clubs, and more.  The students took a language arts placement test while the parents went to another room with the counselors.  The counselors spoke about a variety of services and topics, including academic ineligibility for sports and summer school for those who fail classes.  This concept is somewhat foreign to me.  As an educator, I know that not everyone passes every course.  However, I wondered just how may kids have to take summer school classes--how many students fail one or more classes or have a GPA too low to participate in sports.

The counselors spoke about cyber bullying and emotional issues with which guidance can help.  They spoke highly of the principal and his zero tolerance for bullying, violence, or gang activity at the school.  They recognized that the school is not perfect--it's populated with human teenagers after all--but they gave me a sense that their priority is the success of every student who walks through their doors.  Their enthusiasm (in March, no less!) gave me the sense that they are dedicated to their work and that my daughter will be in the right place next fall to help her achieve her goals for high school.

The thing I liked most about this meeting was the guidance counselors' emphasis on the role of the parent in the child's success.  They encouraged all of the parents to contact the school whenever we had a concern.  One of my hesitations about public education was the idea that I was "giving my kids to the system."  I did not get that sense from the staff at the high school.  I see them as partners in the next season of my parenting journey--letting my only daughter venture into the big world of high school and not holding her hand.  Yes, my heart will be with her, and I'm likely to cry when she heads to the corner to catch the bus in August.  But, my children will tell you, everything makes me cry--mostly the good stuff!  I'll also cry when she runs her first high school cross country meet, when she brings home an art project, or when she acts in a play.  My happiest seasons are notoriously "rainy."

Honestly, I'm pretty confident in my daughter's ability to avoid trouble, succeed academically, and to adjust to this big change next fall.  I'm excited to see how much she will grow and change from a girl into a young woman over the next four years.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NAB)

^*There is an appointed time for everything,
and a time for every affair under the heavens.
A time to give birth, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;
a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew;a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

Three Stations of Discipleship

Palm Sunday is this weekend, and it's hard to believe that in another week we will celebrate Easter.  The past few weeks have gone by so quickly with Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI's resignation, the conclave, and the election of Pope Francis.  Though this Lent has been prayerful, it seemed perhaps less penitential with all of the joy of the Papal election and installation over the past two weeks.

Praying the Stations of the Cross on Fridays in Lent is one of the most beautiful devotions in our Catholic tradition outside of the Mass and the Sacraments.  This particular devotion helps the faithful to deeply ponder what Christ did for us that Friday.  He submitted and opened not his mouth.  He paid the ultimate price, though he was without sin.  He gave himself as the sacrifice to cleanse us that we may share eternal life with him.

I just got home from our parish youth group's presentation of their iWitness Stations.  This beautiful presentation on our Lord's Passion includes a reflection on each of the traditional Stations of the Cross accompanied by a video and songs performed by the music ministry.  The images include various statues and paintings depicting each of the stations, as well as still shots of scenes from The Passion of the Christ.  The reflections for each station, composed by members of the youth group, help those in attendance to deeply contemplate Christ's love for us.

Three stations in particular tug at my heart along the Way of the Cross--Jesus Meets His Mother, Simon Helps Jesus Carry His Cross, and Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus.  These three come between the first and second times that Jesus falls.  Tonight in church, I sat with my youngest son near the pictures of those particular stations.  Jesus bore the weight of our sins alone, but he wasn't all alone.  Three individuals in particular are chosen to represent love and friendship to Jesus during his journey to Calvary.

First, of course, is our Blessed Mother.  She stays near to her son through his anguish.  She suffers with him--her "Yes" from the Annunciation carries her through to this moment.  She suffers, yet she trusts her Lord.  The look between mother and son in that moment would have been one of understanding, anguish, but mostly love.  Words wouldn't have been necessary, but her presence was most necessary.

Next, Simon is called upon to help Jesus carry the cross.  The soldiers no doubt feared he would die on the way to Calvary, as he'd already fallen once.  Simon didn't want to be there, but he helped Jesus when the soldiers pressed him into service.  The reflection on the station described Simon as having a change of heart and speaking to Jesus along the road.  We could envision his conversion under the weight of the wood.  Jesus bore our sins upon that cross.  When Simon helps to carry the cross, it seems to represent repentance--our willingness to own and carry our own sins, and then to repent from those sins, in order to walk with Christ.

Third, we see Veronica wipe the face of Jesus.  "None but she would flaunt the Roman."  This station has impressed me since I was a child.  Who was this woman?  Did she know Jesus?  Was she one of the "women and children" who weren't counted among the 5000 men who were fed by the 5 loaves and 2 fish after hearing the Sermon on the Mount?  Veronica is moved to pity for Jesus.  His face was bloodied and swollen.  He carried the cross like a common criminal as he was paraded through the streets, scorned, and mocked.  Yet she loved him and wiped his face tenderly, and he left his beautiful countenance upon her veil and a gift for her love.

Mary, Simon, and Veronica are true disciples.  They all point us to Christ by being Christ-like.  Their role in his Passion teaches us how to love and to serve.  Just as Jesus told the apostles at the last supper that they would be called to serve, these stations teach us how to serve.

Ringing Phones, Snow Day, and Pope Francis on Network TV

We've known since the weekend that Monday into Tuesday would be a March snowstorm.  In light of that information, I should have taken the phone into my room before I went to sleep last night.  Right on cue, the first automated "Cancellation Alert" call rang at 5:40 a.m., so I bolted out of bed across the hall to grab the phone on my office desk. I received five automated calls this morning before 10:30.  Not one person talking with me--just recordings.

Several of the calls gave me useful information.  However, the frequent ringing and the lack of a friendly conversation to follow the "Hello," on my end was somewhat annoying and disappointing. In general, I don't much like talking on the phone.  Modern phones are miserably uncomfortable against my ear.  The children wander in and out asking questions that they wouldn't think about if I were simply looking out the window at the falling snow.  The sight of me holding a phone and speaking into it, somehow, triggers their thoughts and propels them to beseech answers to their pressing questions RIGHT NOW (translated: only when Mom is talking on the phone)!  Needless to say, I didn't speak into the phone this morning after my initial "Hello," so the children paid me no heed.

The best thing about the first call was that it reminded me about Pope Francis' installation Mass, which I caught toward the end of the consecration.  The announcers were quiet and the Latin was beautiful.  Unfortunately, I watched the Mass on network television.  UGH!   Just after the Pater Noster, the commentating resumed.  All through communion and during part of the prayers after communion, the announcer and "a priest with an agenda" rambled incessantly about how this pope just might change the stance on women clergy and condoms.  Are you kidding me?  People were receiving Jesus in the Eucharist, and all they could talk about was sex and throwing Catholic tradition to the wind.  I was repulsed.  According to Wikipedia, there are approximately 41,000 Christian denominations worldwide.  So, if people want gay "marriage," contraception, female clergy, and acceptance of abortion, I imagine one of those denominations fits their needs.  We don't hear a constant plea from the media regarding Muslim beliefs or Hindu beliefs or Buddhist beliefs and how the time has come for these religions to throw caution to the wind and conform to the world.  

Jesus said:

If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you. (John 15:18-19)

Therefore, any Catholic, especially any Catholic priest should respond, "No, of course the Pope will not be changing 2000 years of teaching and tradition."  Instead, the media seeks Catholic representatives who will be likely to twist and turn and speculate so convincingly that uniformed viewers will perceive the misconstrued message as an official Vatican announcement.

Yes, the world hates what does not belong to the world.  The world expects alignment to the arrow on its twisted moral compass.  But Jesus has chosen us out of the world, and has sent the Holy Spirit to guide the Cardinals in electing the Vicar of Christ, Pope Francis to lead His Church.

I trust the Holy Spirit will guide Pope Francis' pontificate.  I trust that his teaching will conform with Catholic tradition and the he will help Rebuild the Church.  As we continue our Lenten journey toward Palm Sunday, Holy Week, Easter, and Mercy Sunday, I am hopeful.  Jesus, I Trust in You.